Dayal Kaur Khalsa: A Childhood Remembered; A Childhood Transposed

Photograph of Dayal (Marcia) on the Schwartz Farm, the first place she lived in Millbrook

In 1973, Dayal lived on a farm in Millbrook, Ontario, where her experiences became the basis for her seventh book, Julian. Dayal moved to Millbrook with Yvonne Lammerich, an artist friend of Brian Grison. Julian, which was published in the fall of 1989, tells the story of a grown-up May. The story is told in the first person and brings us close to Dayal, as our friend and close confident.

Illustration from Julian, at the farm rented from Fred and Florence Hard at Millbrook

Her direct forthright monologue connects us to her as it has in former books. She begins: "I once lived in a little house in the country with two gentle cats.... We lived together very peacefully."

Then a good chasing dog named Julian arrives who chases everything but a goat and the narrator. The tale reaches a climax when Julian falls into a well, nearly pulling his mistress with him. Dayal's cunning shows itself again:

"When we got back to the house, I had a little talk with Julian. I explained to him that I didn't like the way he behaved..... I wished he would just cut it out so we could all live in peace together."

Recall the illustration of May's mother in I Want a Dog when May brought home the dogs to show her mother how much they loved her. There is an identical posturing gesture where Dayal is imitating the stern demeanor of her mother.

Comparison of pointing gesture illustration from Julian with pointing gesture illustration from I Want a Dog

Rural scene illustrated in Julian

In Julian, Dayal paints vivid, expansive rural scenes, so different from her former works. Surrounded by lush greens and golds, living the life of a farmer, Dayal wrote to friends, Tom and Martha Hendrickson who had originally lived near her:

"Tearing myself free from the luresome tangle of the tumbleberry vine (Ontario having a banner berry year all around) I take these few snatched moments to tell you of the crops.... It will be a disappointment to Tom, but perhaps no surprise to learn that I have ceased being a vegetarian. Yes, indeed. After a year of observing nature I noted that those with eyes on the side of their head eat grass and got eaten and those with eyes on the front of their head ate meat. I looked in the mirror and went out and bought a steak. I had not been a sensible vegetarian and was no doubt suffering real protein deficiency. I've been drinking a lot of powdered milk in an effort to keep my protein up. I feel 100% better for it."

"Do you know I have a dog? Julian. He came to me with that name. He is a big dog. It's just fantastic having a dog and it is indeed so true, there is no friend like a dog. If you ever live in the country again I would heartily recommend you get a dog. On that folksy note, I shall end this letter."

And so we see how the book Julian came to be, with illustrations done in gouche, an application of opaque watercolor to paper capturing the countryside as well as her sense of humor.

From the mood of her letters, it appears that Millbrook was a high point in Dayal's life. During this time, a friend from a women's group in Toronto came to Millbrook. Although she did not apparently indicate any future plans, it appears that Dayal was powerfully affected by the meditations and impressions she experienced with this friend, who tried to help her come to grips with her illness which was not yet diagnosed.

Photograph of Dayal in turban and Sikh clothing, holding a baby

Dayal left Millbrook after one year. She joined a women's group in Toronto and later stayed at a Sihk Ashram where she worked on spritual development and was helped to get well. She joined the Ashram, a nonprofit organization founded 30 years ago and dedicated to the teachings and lifestyle of Kundalini Yoga. This group substituted for the family she sorely missed since the loss of her grandmother, her mother and then her father, who committed suicide in 1985. At the Ashram she worked on self discipline, learning to assemble her turban correctly and keeping her body clean and healthy. Cleanliness and order were not priorities for Dayal until this time. These daily routines helped her to work on her books in a way that was not easy in the past.

I was curious to know something about the Sikhs and what it was about the Sikh beliefs and rituals that attracted Dayal. I also wanted to know the meaning of her new name and why it was chosen. Fortunately, in a recent visit to London, I discovered some explanations at an exhibition at the Victoria and Albert Museum in South Kensington marking the 300th anniversary of the founding of the Khalsa.

"Sikh" is a Punjabi word that means "learner" or "disciple". "Khalsa" means "Fellowship of the Pure" or "the pure ones" and is the name given to all those who are initiated into the Sikh family. When Khalsa was founded in 1699, only those who were without fear and were ready to die for their faith could belong to the family.

The year 1999 is also the 30th anniversary of the founding of the modern-day group that Dayal joined in Canada. "Kaur" means "Princess" and is a name taken by all of the women who become members of the family. Dayal is merely a given name and there is no distinction between male and female given names. There appears to be some controversy as to whether the Sikhs are a religion or simply an ecumenical belief. Their main tenet is that there is only one God and that all religions are equal in the sight of God. In other respects, their emphasis is on their ritual, on purity and on the solidarity of the family. Sikhs do not proselytize, and welcome non-Sikhs to share in their rituals and beliefs.

Dayal married a French Canadian member of the Ashram, chosen by Yogi Bajan with the consent of Dayal and the man. After several years, the marriage ended. With the end of the marriage came the unfortunate loss of a child through miscarriage. To this day, the members of 3HO ( another name for the Ashram) hold Dayal in great esteem and affection. She dedicated Julian to Yogi Bajan and all his children of the Ashram.

Continued...