"You are going to where they will rub you down, and take away all that superior sense of self that you have, and when they are finished with you, you will put it on in finer form afterward" said the university graduate, as for a few moments I stood contemplating my possible future.
My two years service in backwoods Mission work had ended, and I had come up to the District Meeting with a higher grade of Certificate than on either of the previous occasions, one of my text books -- Kurtz' History of the Christian Church being covered by a one hundred per cent pass, and now it was considered advisable to give me the privilege of attending college. At last, that which I had once thought impossible was coming very near to me. I confess I feared; yet I believe I had moral courage. Others went forward; why should not I? And if my God and Father had so richly led me on through the years that had passed since I sought and found Him, why should He not continue to do so? And "If God be for us who can be against us?". At this point again Miss Bilbrough, or rather the Misses Bilbrough, stepped into my picture. Their home became my home for every occasion when I was released from college, and until such time as I was re-engaged, and in their home from time to time I renewed fellowship with the future Bishop. He attended Wycliffe College in Toronto, and I attended Victoria University in the town of Cobourg.
My advent at the university was marked by wary stepping on my part. Fortunately I had a room-mate who had spent previous years within the hallowed halls; his name was Real and he proved to be a real helper in giving pointers to a youthful stepper. I do not feel drawn to such terms as find vogue in modern days -- terms such as "complexes", yet I must admit that behind them there is a background of reality. And it is the misfortune of many a child, that from his earliest days he is schooled into thinking that he is in inferiority to other more favoured, perhaps more pampered, children. It is not only an unkindness to the child, but an injustice to remind him of the "hole of the pit from whence he was digged", and to tell him that he was only a so-and-so, or that he could never do what someone else had done. As a matter of fact, it so often has happened that the struggle for existence has called into play better elements than the love for self-ease, that these strugglers have become the best benefactors of society. I had so often been told that I was "occupying the place which native-born Canadians ought to be occupying", and I had heard that suspicious expression all too frequently "Canada for Canadians", that with the memory of early privations, and small returns for services rendered, I had an uncomfortable, lurking feeling that perhaps I was not equal to other fellows at the university, and I might bring some discredit on some one. So I entered College with fear and trembling. But why I should have done so I wonder now, seeing I had a head and a heart, and a good pair of legs.
Dr Nathaniel Burwash was the Dean of Theology, and as into his care were committed all of the young "theologues" who came up to prepare for their future ministerial work, I readily fell into line, and was duly introduced by my room-mate, who as I have already said had spent previous time within those hallowed halls. Dr B. had a quietness about him, so entirely free from all "fussiness", that he gave one the impression of an immediateness in his understanding of the case, and thus had the gift to put one at ease. He was so different from the lofty character I had anticipated, that I at once took to him as to a father. Indeed he became in the truest and fullest possible ecclesiastical sense a "father in Israel".
In the course of study under him, he made many remarks to me personally which became like watchwords for the course of life, one of which was:- "Make use of all that you learn". He was in very deed a saintly man, but withall so humble that he seemed never to have recognised who or what he was. As one saw him with his book-bag over his shoulder trying to accomplish some little errand on his way to the lecture platform, and running along the street, one could have most appropriately applied the words "The king's business required haste." He was never late in meeting with his class, moreover he always came to his class in the devotional spirit, and every lecture he delivered was preceded by prayer, for which purpose he called upon some member of the class.
Dr Burt Pope's three volumes of Theology, The Acts of the Apostles and the Epistle to the Romans, these both in Greek, were the favourite books on which he talked to us, as if by "line upon line" and added his own deeply philosophical lectures, which after his death were published in book form. Of course such books have had a permanent place on my book shelves. It was during a lecture on the eleventh chapter of Romans that this saintly Professor suddenly paused, and addressing me by name, and no doubt prompted by an expression on my countenance, asked:- "Is that too Calvinistic for you ?". I admitted that I was thinking that way. He then remarked:- "God is an absolute sovereign; but He is not arbitrary".
This was a fair example of his method of dissolving difficulties in the minds of his students, and because of it he was loved by all. He taught me to seek the reason for the facts of our religion without ever doubting that there must be a reason. "Seek on your knees, Gentlemen," he would say. He made a great and permanent impression on my life, and I have always been grateful that I ever was brought into contact with this "fountain of purity".
The Principal of the University was the Rev Dr Samuel Nelles who lectured to us on Homiletics, and his own homiletic method was so unique and peculiar that he was famed all over the country, especially so was his voice. He loved to preach especially to preachers, on the text:- "Other men laboured, and ye are entered into their labours". A prominent characteristic of his was that he never came to the lecture hour without having some joke with which to sharpen our wits and brighten his sage sayings.
Professor Reynar was the son-in-law of Dr Morley Punshon, the pulpit orator of English fame, and he was my lecturer in literature, Greek Testament and Church history -- a professor whose every sentence was polished with a fineness of art that compelled one to sit and listen as to the sound of a master hand on the lordliest organ, and perhaps so diluted the liquid sentences that nought remained after the lecture but the exalted and transported spirit that simply wished for like precious attainments.
Dr Coleman was lecturer in Geology, a young man then, post graduate of a German University, with a faith in holy Scripture still remaining to him. Years afterwards he became celebrated as the outstanding geologist for the Ontario Government, and the discoverer of rich mining lands. His book on the Rocky Mountains was perhaps his latest literary work, and with what avidity did I read it! Into his class on geology I counted it my great privilege to enter, and to spend two years in listening to a master was a benediction to my ministry. Among the sciences I have not found so great a help as in this one, and especially so after having years of contact with the country where the Laurentians, Huronians, Devonians, and Trentons have their home.
It was at the end of his lecture course that Dr Coleman said:- "Next day, gentlemen, bring your Bibles with you when you come to class". This was a source of surprise to us, because while we knew him as a regular attendant at the university church, we knew also that he made no open avowal of personal faith, as a Christian should. It was an interesting sight, on the next lecture day, to see a line of undergraduates in arts, some whose goal was medicine, some lawyers, some preparing for the teaching profession, as well as theological students, wending their way, and each carrying a Bible, some with a somewhat amused expression of countenance. That morning the hour was spent on the first chapter of Genesis, the Professor tracing the outline of successive ages, and the modification of big things by a more definite and perfect organisation of little things; then he finished with a sentence which I could never forget:- "So you see, gentlemen, there is nothing in this story from Genesis which conflicts with what we have been observing in our studies in the science of geology".
Dr Haanel was a fiery, imaginative, and eloquent orator whose special department was Physics. He became ultimately the Director of the Department of Investigation and Analysis under the Dominion Government in Ottawa. He, by his lectures, led us away from the things seen to the things not seen, and saved us all from becoming materialists. "Gentlemen", he would exclaim, "you are going through the world blind". And then as was so often his fashion, when he seemed to forget all around him, he would throw his arms aloft as if trying to grasp some invisible tangibility, and go into raptures over "the universal, elastic ether". He was far ahead of his day in teaching us that so-called matter was really compressed energy, and thus was my sky made lighter and brighter.
Another of my gratefully remembered professors was Dr G C Workman, who later took a postgraduate course in Germany and returned an avowed "Higher Critic", with a declaration that there was no Messianic prophecy in the Old Testament. I puzzled him once in college class, by asking him a question -- it was my nature to do little things -- and the boys all laughed. I thought that they were laughing at me, and I protested, but they explained afterwards that they were laughing at the beautiful way in which the Professor had been "cornered". The Professor met me afterwards on the street, chose to walk with me, by which I was greatly honored, and explained that I had taken him greatly by surprise as he had not "recently looked up his Hebrew roots".
We have met many times in the years since then, and while the mischief of my soul burst forth in those early days, I have not ceased since his Germanic days to pity the one I once puzzled. "What are you gaining by it?" I once asked him in reference to his Old Testament criticism. "Well, you understand", he replied, "that there are many intelligent men who cannot become Christians because they find difficulties in our Bible and in our Christian doctrines, and if I can remove those difficulties, I consider that I am leading them over to the side of Christ". I could not argue with him, but I thought, and still think, that he was trying to take to himself a work that belongs to the Holy Spirit.
There were other Professors and subjects, but these were my specials which abide in my memory, and for which I do not need to refresh myself from the diary which I kept diligently. In two years I completed three years work in theology, and added thereto my courses in science and literature -- two years was the limit of time set by the Church for my attendance. To cover so much ground required system as well as diligence, and a fairly good amount of persistence. The town bell rang at six in the morning, and the clock rolled out ten at night, and by these hours I wakened and slept. I indulged in very little sport -- it was too rough for me; my preference was for walking, and in this I exercised for at least two hours every afternoon, either by taking walks along the railway, or what was more attractive, a walk along the shore of that inland sea -- the Lake Ontario. Very few who have not seen it can grasp the magnificence of this body of fresh water, which is sixty-five miles in width and forms a part of the boundary between Canada and the United States. The shore of this lake reaching northward, and stretching from east to west in a half moon shape until it reaches the gorge of Niagara, is the country of the greatest charm in Ontario, and one does not wonder that long ago enemies tried to capture it from the British Crown. It is the waterfront of great cities like Toronto and Hamilton. It is the fruit garden of Middle Canada. I knew this lake in my farming days, and I do not wonder that in college days I spent many a meditative hour listening to the voices of the in-rushing waves. Far out, the white caps arose -- how I wondered what caused them to do so --, and I watched them as I strolled along the gravelly beach, as they kept up a perpetual chase of each other like veritable greyhounds of the deep, always chasing, yet never overtaking each other, for as rapidly as one long line of foam dashed itself against the shore, it was only to discover that its predecessor had vanished. Then I looked out over the wide stretch to see another hero arising and I followed him as he battled his way and threw his last ounce of strength against my feet and bathed my cheeks with healthful spray. At times I thought of Him who had given to this world the powers which are constantly arising and rolling in through the ages, never stagnant, never limited, but in the face of all expressions of gravity, keeps on the uppermost of spiritual activities; sin drags down, but the Christ is the resisting "all power". Then there was a silent evidence of power, ever lying at my feet, as I patrolled the beach, for the pebbles stranded among the sands were of granite, and there was no visible granite within fifty miles of this water. This lake lay in the lap of a limestone area, and had its playground at the feet of a long line of hills made up very much of sand and gravel, what had once been the shore line of a greater sea. Granites are to be found in plenty in the hills far to the north, and apparently these pebbles of the lake have been broken off and carried southward by the wear and tear of years of frost and storm, and even of that long past "glacial age", helped forward in their march by the torrents bent on joining "the brimming river", and at last were placed where the God-given forces of the lake might grind them into shapes of beauty "as iron sharpeneth iron", and "the countenance of a man his friend".
I valued those days for the associations they gave me among young men, and the life-friendships that were formed, never to be sorry for. Undoubtedly it was a time for character study. One young man, rather overgrown and underdeveloped in his early life, assumed that religion was absent from the university, and ultimately he essayed to form a new denomination. I pitied him and tried to cultivate in him a sense of contact with the earth on which he trod; but I fear my efforts were fruitless. I came across him and his work many times in after years.
A photograph, which I have preserved, has been a helpful reminder of the splendid men among whom I was placed and who created so many noble ideals for me; I hope I may have inspired them in like manner. One of my group became pastor of churches in Montreal and Toronto and ultimately the clever editor of the denominational paper. Another became President of Conference in a western province. Still another became Principal of a Ladies College. I prize especially the recollection of those upon whom the missionary mantle fell, and who gave themselves to work in Japan; of these was the metaphysician Whittington who went out to tell the young "Jap" what it is "to know", John Saunby, a bosom friend, who gave himself to Japanese evangelism, large, noted for his college singing, and who was murdered in his house one night by a native, and Harper Coates who in college days was my seconder in a college debate, and who has spent a long life as a teacher in the Japanese university -- for these and others I have ever been devoutly thankful. Little wonder that I should one day write to Dr J., my District Chairman:- "I feel that I have come to the springs of truth, and I shall lose no time in drinking as deeply as I may".
And now, what about my finances? I was able to say when my time at college expired that anyone can go to college who wishes to. But that is to anticipate. My finances were in a struggling condition. Occasionally I went out as a "supply" for a Sunday service, and always returned with an extra Five Dollars in pocket, and that meant my Board paid for a week at least; but those excursions did not happen often enough. It was understood in the church courts that when one had done service on the Mission field his expenses at college should be paid, and so I had been voted a "full grant". But when I appeared before the Bursar at college I was met with the information:- "We have changed our order and have resolved to make no more donations to our students. We can lend you the amount you were to receive, payable to us in ten years, without interest". That, I said would suit me better, for then no one could say "we educated you". I had been careful to provide myself with a good clothing outfit that covered all college days, and I had a little sum of money in the Post Office Savings Bank. There was one reservation in the new order:- "We pay your tuition fees".
So I went along very nicely through the first year. But with the advent of Spring, and the end of the college session, my bank account growing small, I must find work for the summer that will reinforce my equipment for the next year. And now it is that I meet with the crisis. Having applied at the Conference Office for supply work on some circuit or mission, I was met with the information that nothing was available. It was the time when three branches of the Methodist Church -- the Methodist Church of Canada, the Primitive Methodist Church, and the Episcopal Methodist Church, had decided to unite their forces, and at that time came together under the name of the Methodist Church. Young men had nothing to say in this movement, but some of the consequences inevitably fell upon them, for fields contracted instead of multiplying, and the surplus of married men required that the fields which had been occupied by young men should be handed over to these. It was therefore a convenient time to send young men to college, indeed almost a necessity to do so, and it took away the possibility of summer employment. I accepted my fate, and after an absence of five years from farm work, turned to it again, to help a farmer with his haying and harvesting. I was far from being fit for such, I had become too "softened", but I trusted to the farmer's fairness, and I was glad to find board and lodging for the summer.
I do not know whether or not all farmers are alike the world over, although Tennyson's Northern Farmer does suggest kinship, but I am free to say that my experience with the Canadian farmer has not very materially heightened my respect for him. In this case of my summer employment, because I had so long been out of harness, I went to work without any set terms of remuneration. My work lasted for two months; my strength grew with my daily exercise in the open, so that I was able to render all the help that the farmer needed. The time came for preparing my return to college and I asked for a settlement. I had thought anything possible from fifty dollars up to seventy-five; judge then of my feelings when he offered me twenty-six! And there was no recourse. This was my summer revenue.
Arriving in town for the renewal of college work, I presented myself before the Bursar to secure a repetition of the loan of the previous year, wondering indeed how I could make it do with such small earnings as I had made; but imagine my feelings when the Bursar said:- "I am sorry to have to inform you that owing to the Union, and so many young men being obliged to attend college, we are able this year to let you have only one- half of the loan allowed last year". That made me blue enough. Twenty Six Dollars, and Sixty Dollars, made Eighty Six, to run a college year on! And here I had a roommate who was living on a rich farmer father, and who announced every other week "I have just had a cheque for Twenty Five Dollars from my father. And why not? When father dies my brother gets the farm. If I get anything I must do it while father is alive". And I had to live on a par with this young man!
It was that noble and good woman who, sending me a motherly letter every second week, Miss Ellen Agnes Bilbrough, one day found out my circumstances and without request wrote the soul-quickening words "Make me your banker". Thus "In some way or other" the Lord does provide. So my work went on unhindered, but by the time that I was once more on a field of service, I was Five Hundred Dollars in debt, which to a young man in those days was a very great amount. But I was in the Master's service.
| PREVIOUS CHAPTER | CONTENTS | NEXT CHAPTER |