Reginald Pendergast
Close to the Heart:
Humorous Stories & Ballads
Of Prince Edward Island
By: Reginald Pendergast
Reginald Pendergast collected many of the stories in his book
"Close To The Heart: Humorous Stories & Ballads of Prince Edward Island" by
listening to the people around him. His father provided an abundance of stories and
exposed him to other folklorists, his mother also helped by remembering and repeating
many of the stories after his father's death. Other stories were also collected from
relatives and people from the community.
The Same Truck Wagon
Some of the young girls who went to Boston to work as domestics took on a Yankee accent very quickly. If they returned home to PEI after wintering in Boston, the newly acquired accent, fine clothes, and general "taking on airs" would be very noticeable.
One such girl on the train to Tignish was recognized by the conductor. Conductors usually knew everyone along the line. She said to the conductor as the neared Tignish, "Would there be a 'cah' at the station?"
The conductor shot back, "No just the same old truck-wagon your father took you to the station in two years ago.
Hubie, The Church Owner
Father Willie Monaghan was very short in stature. He was so short that they used to say, "If you see a big Oldsmobile coming down the road with nobody driving, that's father Willie!" In his church pulpit he had placed a small stool so that he could stand higher and command a better view of the congregation.
Once, when he went to a neighboring church to preach only his head appeared above the
side of the pulpit. Some very unwise souls began to titter and giggle, their
amusement only increased when he made the sign of the cross on his forehead, chin, and
both ears.
When Father Willie was parish priest in Alberton he ran the parish farm and also owned a
racehorse. He employed from time to time a local parishioner named Hubie. Hubie was
single and devoted most of his meager earnings to the local liquor store or
bootlegger. Usually there would not be anything left for the church collection.
Therefore, when Hubie did a half-day's work for the pastor, Father Willie would try to
make this right by saying, "You'll out that to the church, eh, Hubie?" Hubie would
agree outwardly, but grudgingly.
After about a year of the same treatment, Hubie was getting a little discouraged.
He wanted to hint that he'd like some cash, but the next time Father Willie said
"You'll put that to the church", Hubie hesitated, then agreed, but added, "I guess
I'll soon own'er, eh Father?"
The Cleansing of Clarence Morrissey
Clarence Morrissey who lived at Sea Cow Pond, about five miles from Tignish, was an
entrepreneur, a politician, and a "dramatis personus."
Clarence was still shaking his mackinaw collar to get the snow off just as the young priest was making the turn at the end of the middle aisle. The zeal with which he had been spraying the congregation, who were devoutly making the sign of the cross, made Clarence realize, too late, that the priest would not be above giving a heavy spray to any latecomers. Clarence shuddered as the icy water landed on his head and dripped down his neck. That same evening as was he custom he went to the parochial house to have the usual Sunday evening round of forty-fives. The pastor, Monsignor MacLellan, introduced him to the new curate, Father Rooney. After the formalities, Clarence, in mock dudgeon, announced, "Ah, yes, father. We met in the morning when I got the cold holy water down me neck!" His voice rose as he intoned, "I swore in the high seas, and I swore in the black marsh. But today was the first time I ever swore in church!"
Shocking the Tourists
Perce Morrissey was the lighthouse keeper at North Cape for a number of years. It was normally a solitary life, but during the tourist season he would always show people around. He was usually courteous, but he had other duties which kept him busy and necessitated keeping the tours short.
One day, two ladies asked to go up to see the light. They kept up a steady barrage of questions and exclamations about every part of the mechanism. When they came down again, they noticed the Irish moss, which was piled up on the bottom floor, and another panoply of questions ensued. Morrissey explained that they gathered the wet moss every day, dried and bleached it on the shore, and then stored the dry moss on the large square floor at the base of the lighthouse.
One asked, "What do they do with it?" He replied, "Put it in some things to eat."
"What does it taste like?" another asked.
At the end of his patience, and to discourage further questions, he snapped, "Oh, the
pure piss!"
"You're Never a Prophet..."
When Stompin' Tom Connors became famous as a singer he bought a farm in the Western
Part of PEI. Sometimes he would visit a neighboring farm. They would play music and
then get into a card game after midnight, often playing till dawn.
Ignoring Tom's reputation as an entertainer, the neighbor, shaking his head, said of
him, "Tom's a great card player but I must be slowing down. When he was here last
year I got tired around five o'clock in the morning and had to quit, but Tom kept
playing!"
In a Hurry
In the early days of cars, when the Western Road was not in a very pristine state of
repair and there were so many breakdowns that people sometimes debated the value of
Motor cars versus the horse and carriage to get you anywhere on time. Dick had a good
lobster season one year and was able to purchase a second hand Model T.
Along through the summer when the red clay roads were dried up he took some of his
family to Summerside. However the ruts in some places were sun-baked hard and a bit
rough on the tires. Consequently, they had a couple of flats before they got past
Wellington Corner, but they carried patching material in the car and a pump to blow the
tires up again. This process took over half an hour for each tire. When they hit the
Miscouche Flats the road was bad again and another tire sprang a leak. Dick got
disgusted and started walking the last seven or eight miles to Summerside. Just past
Miscouche, about half way there, another car came along and offered the old timer a
lift. "No thanks," he shouted, "I'm in a hurry!"