Cliffhanger
Rock climbing
up the snowy ledges
toward the cave
of
fear
on the edge
why?--to achieve (symbolic)
success.
Is it worth it?
space
Boots step carefully
slowly
steep, narrow pockets
where snow at least is firmer
than rock or moss
space
Steps appearing forward, with closer view
step by step...it could be possible...
this is about accomplishment, positive thinking--
...right?
but no. One slip...
space
Turning back
the way I came
(thinking of avalanche victims
ten dead in recent weeks)
another opening...try again?
Space
The inner voice: No. Just fear?
Why risk it? I could go around.
(Flash to deer intuition--I felt a voice not to go on that
highway, but discounted it,
irrational...went a little farther around a curve and
wham!--she (pregnant, in April) veered full speed into the
front fender--killed.)
space
I do go around: the easy way, back end of ridge-top
look down the way up I would have come: steep,
forbidding snowy access to the west.
Space

Now I can enjoy the view
...friends in Nepal, seeing five of the ten highest peaks,
at once!
(the easier way, trekking)
I reflect: adventure, heroism?
--why? Challenge, risk, adrenaline
pride. Symbolic of achievement, success
worthiness...yet leaves question
...was it worth it?
space
From there I walk on up the hill toward my original destination
...the cave. Should I continue?
Nah.
Why not?
There's no computer in the cave.
Space
© Nowick Gray
31 January 1998
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