why don't we think more about
BEING BORN
by
ALISON STONE
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Alison
Stone is Professor of Philosophy at Lancaster University. Her
latested book, Being Born: Birth and Philosophy, will
be published by Oxford University Press in late 2019. This article
was originally published in The Conversation.(www.theconversation.com)
All human
beings begin life by being born – and all human beings die.
In these two ways, we are finite: our lives are not endless, but
they begin and they come to an end. Historically, however, philosophers
have concentrated attention on only one of these two ways in which
we are finite: mortality. Philosophers have said little about
being born and how it shapes our existence. An exception is some
recent work in feminist philosophy, for instance by Luce
Irigaray and Adriana Cavarero – but even
here, being born has been overshadowed by giving birth and motherhood.
So how
does being born organize human existence? First, let’s clarify
that for human beings, to be born is to begin to exist at a certain
point in time, and to do so by being conceived and gestated in
and then exiting from the womb – historically the maternal
womb, although transgender pregnancies are changing this. We thereby
come into the world with a specific body, and in a given place,
set of relationships and situation in society, culture, and history.
Because
of the helplessness of human babies and infants – and children’s
prolonged need for nurturing and education – we begin life
utterly dependent on the people who care for us physically and
emotionally. Often, we become more independent over time, but
never completely or permanently so. We all remain dependent on
others – in respect of our means of subsistence, language,
emotional well-being and basic social trust. Once we remember
that we begin life as babies and infants, dependency emerges as
more basic than independence – independence takes place
against a background of dependence, not vice versa.
Because
of our initial dependency, our early relationships with our caregivers
have huge formative effects on us. They form our selves: our patterns
of emotional reaction, dispositions, habits and traits –
and the personalities into which they are organized. None of this
is set in stone – we can, of course, be deeply affected
and reformed by subsequent relationships. But we are open to new
relationships in ways shaped by the previous ones. When we consider
birth, then, we see that relationships with others make us the
individuals we are – our individual selfhood arises within
a background of relationships.
ME, MYSELF
AND I
At birth,
each individual comes into a unique situation in the world, made
up of a unique combination of historical, social, ethnic, geographical,
familial, and generational circumstances. One’s initial
natal situation affects every subsequent life situation one comes
to be in – including by affecting whatever choices one makes
in response to these situations. All one’s successive situations
flow down through one’s life, however indirectly, from one’s
birth.
We are
each born into our own unique situation. Our natal situations
are given to us, not chosen – and as soon as we are born
we begin to imbibe the culture around us. So, first and foremost,
we are inheritors and receivers of culture and history. We may
develop capacities to question, criticize and change what we have
received, but this happens on the prior basis of reception.
Why have
I been leading the particular life I have, since birth? I may
wonder: “Why am I me?” or: “Why is this the
life I’m leading and none other?” Eastern and Western
religious traditions offer various answers – for example,
by referring to our immortal souls as in Christianity, or cycles
of rebirth, as in Hinduism. But perhaps my being born me is a
fact that cannot be explained, only accepted.
We can
explain, at least to a point, why the particular body that I happen
to be born with was conceived (my parents met, a particular sperm
fertilized a particular egg on a given occasion – and the
rest). But that does not explain why this body is the one whose
life I happen to be leading and experiencing directly, from the
inside. This is just a fact, and because it is inexplicable, a
dimension of mystery pervades my existence. That mystery can generate
anxiety – one of several forms of birth anxiety.
Philosophers (Heidegger, for example) have said much about anxiety
about death, but being born also presents anxieties and existential
difficulties.
EARLY
DAYS
It can
seem perplexing that I ever arrived in existence having not previously
been there. And it can be troubling that we cannot remember being
born, or indeed remember early childhood – the phenomenon
known as “infantile
amnesia.”
This
amnesia is a consequence of the staged development of our memory
and cognitive systems during childhood. As we rise to more advanced
forms of memory, we lose access to earlier memories laid down
in less advanced forms. In turn, our staged cognitive development
is a consequence of birth: we are born very immature and unformed
but develop, eventually, to reach high levels of cognitive sophistication.
Yet the
early years that we forget are the most formative for us. We therefore
end up with much of our own emotional lives and reactions as mysteries
to us. Why do we fall in and out of love with the people we do?
Why does this song move me to tears and leave you cold? Infantile
amnesia leaves us strangers to ourselves in important respects
– and this is disconcerting.
These
are just some features of human existence which are thrown into
relief once we remember that we are not only mortal, but also
natal. Being born is a fundamental, not a trivial or accidental,
feature of human life – and human existence overall has
the shape it does because we are born.
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