The
Met Gala has rolled up its red carpet for another year. The
annual event came off with all the usual fanfare and also
inspired an internet meme.
Comparing
this annual irony-free Zoolander walk-off to The Hunger Games
is a bit of amusing hyperbole for a Twitter subset attuned
to the clueless decadence of late-stage capitalism.
For
the uninitiated, the Met Gala is Christmas for the fashion
glitterati. Or do I mean Halloween? Either way, it’s
the one night of the year when celebrities can stop pretending
to be normal and humble, really let their hair down and not
feel judged about appearing on Epstein’s client list.
That’s
Kim Kardashian inside the gimp suit, which was designed by
Demna Gvasalia—the person behind Balenciaga’s
creepy bondage teddy bears.
The
Met Gala’s theme changes from year to year but the ‘rules
for me and not for thee’ flavour is evergreen. This
year it was Karl Lagerfeld. The progressive, lib-feminist,
body-positive, pro-equity guest list didn’t seem to
mind paying tribute to a man who once fat-shamed Adele, compared
Syrian refugees to Nazis and pooh-poohed the #metoo movement.
As
Hunger Games comparisons go, 2021 was a banner year. Pandemic
protocol demanded all guests be masked but it looked as though
only the waiters complied. This despite Vogue magazine helpfully
suggesting glamorous options such as Jennifer Behr’s
scattered Swarovski pearl version, which retailed for about
$200.
2021
was also the year Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez turned up in a
dress with the words ‘tax the rich’ scrawled across
the back. She then proceeded to stiff the people who provided
her dress, jewellery, hair, makeup and various accoutrements.
It took months and an Ethics complaint for contractors to
get paid. Asked about the delay, AOC blamed a staffer.
Next
year’s theme is still up in the air but Twitter has
generously floated suggestions, including “cannibalism”
and “The Purge.”
OCEANIA
IS ALWAYS AT WAR WITH EURASIA
George
Orwell knew a thing or two about totalitarian societies. In
his dystopian classic Nineteen Eighty-Four, London’s
lower classes live abysmal lives while a tiny ruling class
enjoys absurd decadence. In real-life London, King Charles
III just completed his transformation from mere human to monarch.
Ordinary Brits, despite living through the lowest standard
of living since the 1930s, were asked to pledge an oath of
loyalty to a nepo-baby whose valet squeezes toothpaste onto
his toothbrush every morning.
Perpetual
war is another feature of dystopian societies. War is a handy
way to chew up the fruits of working-class labour without
raising their standard of living. As everyone knows, Ukraine
is at war with Russia. The Ruling Class has chosen a side
in this conflict and in case anyone forgets which, it will
find imaginative new ways to remind you.
That, of course, is Jill Biden and granddaughter Finnegan
making a bold “Slava Ukraini” statement. (Because
there was a Matlock marathon on TV it’s not protocol
for US presidents to attend coronations, the President stayed
at home.)
Ever
since Putin invaded, there’s been an ongoing campaign
to demonstrate support for Ukrainian freedom. As well as including
the yellow and blue flag emoji in social media profiles, supporters
have dumped bottles of vodka with funny letters on them down
the drain, banned Russian pianists from orchestras and removed
Dostoevsky from university curricula.
Never
mind that the Crime and Punishment author was condemned to
a Siberian labour camp for reading banned books. In war, as
they say, truth is always the first casualty.
In
Nineteen Eighty-Four, the government censors all media. Here
in the Great White North, we have the Ministry of Truth CRTC
(Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission)
for that. Also, organizations like Egale Canada, a non-profit
fighting for the rights of 2SLG-Q.
Wait
a second. That’s not right . . . Let’s try that
again . . . fighting for the rights of 2SLGB-Q . . . Dammit!
Come on brain . . . you can do this! –the LGBTQ-R-S-T-
Ah f*** it!!! Never mind!
In
an open letter to the Commission, Egale has demanded Fox News
be removed from Canada’s cable packages for expressing
opinions different from their own rhetoric “aimed to
provoke hatred and violence.”
The
government-funded group singled out “false and horrifying
claims” made by Tucker Carlson. The CRTC has launched
a public consultation based on Egale’s demands.
I
have good news and bad news for Egale Canada. The good news
is… no more Tucker Carlson! As everyone knows by now,
he and Fox News have parted ways.
The
bad news is . . . more Tucker Carlson! After some behind-the-scenes
wrangling with his lawyers, Tucker announced he’d be
continuing his show on Twitter.
