It's
only when a mosquito lands on your testicles you realize there
is always a way to solve problems without violence.
Friends
are people who know you really well and like you anyway.
The
two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and
stupidity.
I
asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that
way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
The
difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has
its limits.
By
working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get
to be boss and work twelve hours a day.
A
bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove
that you don’t need it.
The
only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Going
to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than
going to a garage makes you an automobile.
Don’t
worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already
tomorrow in Australia.
If
you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping
with a mosquito.
The
man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone
to blame it on.
