A woman emailed me and said that she ran a small publishing
house and was interested in my ghostwriting a chapter for
a book on the orgasm meditation movement that was being edited
by the woman who edits the Dalai Lama.
“The
Dalai Lama needs me as a ghostwriter?” I asked, tempted,
but also puzzled. “On what subject?”
“The
Dalai Lama wants me on this subject?”
Perhaps
that was the lure, the bait; it certainly got my attention.
But no, this anthology was not being written by the Dalai
Lama but it was being edited by the woman who has edited his
works.
I
then asked to see the list of the other chapters and the names
of their authors before I would make a commitment of any kind.
The
publisher used the name of a very eminent and principled feminist
as the woman who told her that she had to reach out to me—and
only me. If such a woman was our go-between, my every guard
was way down. (I have since contacted her. She said that she’d
been cold-called by this woman, who must have carefully researched
her—and that she had, in fact, recommended me as the
best feminist on this subject).
This
publisher wrote me 13 times and called me four times all within
seven days. She set up a zoom meeting with two other women
on the seventh day—the editor, and the author whom she
mainly published. The publisher praised my work and said she
was also interested in publishing my Collected Feminist
Works. Oh my. What writer can resist such words. But,
I know enough to have asked whether she thought that a new,
small, press could truly market and distribute such a Collection.
She told me that they had twenty editors hard at work and
specialists in social media.
Reader:
I was already hooked a wee bit.
The
publisher did say that they’d been accused of “being
prostitutes.”
I
laughed and said: “Oh, that’s pro forma when a
woman talks truth to power. Next, they call you a dyke, a
madwoman, and a witch and then they burn your books; if they
can, they burn you.”
I honestly thought she was talking about just such anti-feminist
denigration. I did not, for one minute, think that whatever
work they were doing (which their main author called “Orgasm
Meditation”) had anything to do with prostitution. After
all, I knew the late Betty Dodson, the late Sher Hite, and
the late Dell Williams, as well as the pioneering work of
Ann Koedt, all of whom were concerned with women’s sexual
pleasure; with masturbation, the importance of the clitoris,
lesbian sexuality, heterosexuality; and with women’s
overcoming naiveté and shame about our genitalia.
Also,
I recently read an excellent book by Rachel E. Gross, Vagina
Obscura: An Anatomical Voyage, which was quite eye-opening.
Feminists have every right to share information about our
sexuality, orgasm and female genitalia.
And
so I joined a Zoom call with two other women. At some level,
I thought: “Why two women? Are they going to love bomb
me?”
And
that’s exactly what they did. Two charming women referred
to me as a “rock star of feminism” and we talked
about my book, Woman’s Inhumanity to Women. They wanted
me to distill this information for their anthology, give the
history of it. I said that I was not a historian nor was I
a self-help writer or even a guide-to kind of writer; that
my work has been heavy-duty radically feminist intellectual
and political work. At least I hoped so.
They
made me feel as if my work was loved and wanted.
All
three women were exceedingly well-spoken. The founder of this
wellness through orgasm movement, grew up in California and
was blonde, cheerful and engaging. I half-read a chapter she’d
written, ostensibly for this anthology, which was far too
light-weight for me—but I thought: Ah, California, Hollywood,
celebrities, gurus, money, don’t be a spoilsport, go
with the flow. Maybe this could help radical feminism reach
Silicon Valley and the coming generations.
Why
not? Hilaria Baldwin once contacted me to discuss Woman’s
Inhumanity to Woman, a book she said she believed could
change the world. She’d underlined nearly every line,
and she was going to feature it on Instagram, Tik Tok and
God knows where else. My former, young, assistant was so excited,
that a real-life celebrity was contacting me, that she begged
to be allowed to hear our conversation. Those plans didn’t
end up panning out.
And
so, I had very recently experienced how excited young people
can get when a celebrity praises one’s work. Who knows?
In this crazy world, maybe this could actually work.
Still,
a niggling little instinct left me with doubts, compelling
me to check them out further—and oh my!
The
author, herself, (who I’m choosing not to name) can
be found posing in pictures with actress and entrepreneur
Gwyneth Paltrow and feminist Naomi Wolf (among others). A
profile in LA Magazine says she has influenced Khloe
Kardashian.
But
the group, OneTaste, which promotes the practice of “Orgasm
Meditation,” has also been mired in scandal. The group
is accused of being a cult for money (classes range from $195
for an intro workshop to $16,000 for “certified coach”
training, according to LA Magazine).
The
reasons why the group may be accused of prostitution started
to become more clear. Allegedly, the OM ‘workshops’
exposed desperately eager women to a practice in which men
paid money to lightly stroke each woman’s clitoris for
15 minutes – and perhaps, then move on to the next women
– or to full heterosexual intercourse. According to
the Daily Mail:
Vanity
Fair named Daedone in its list of “Twelve Women
Who Changed the Way We Look at Sex’ and around 900,000
people have viewed her TEDx talk, entitled “Orgasm,
the Cure for Hunger in Western Woman.”
The
goal of Orgasm Meditation (OM) is, supposedly, to help women
achieve wellness through light clitoral stimulation in group
settings—and only with men.
One
woman, though, is suing Daedone for having been cheated out
of money and being empowered/forced to have sex with different
men—men who also paid for this privilege.
The
founder of this movement or cult (depending on who you ask)
claims that these charges are all false. She told me she was
Zooming with me from London where she’d gone to fight
the false media against her.
Oh,
yes, the FBI apparently investigated her as well. And the
BBC has also launched a podcast about Orgasm Meditation titled,
“The Orgasm Cult.”
Look,
the FBI once investigated me, too, back in the mid-1980s,
for helping mothers run away with their incestuously assaulted
children. So I would not automatically view any woman as guilty
merely because she was being investigated. But there were
other red flags.
As
soon as I read these articles, I emailed the publisher and
said that I could not be associated with such a movement.
“But
I told you that we had been accused of being prostitutes”
she immediately said.
Yes,
women get falsely accused all the time. On the off chance
we’re all wrong and this group and its founder have
been falsely maligned, I don’t wish to be a part of
further damning their reputation.
