The Indifferents: Derivative Life
by Jeff Fyfe
Act One, Scene One - Excerpt
An apartment in a converted house. There is a small kitchen at the back of the stage, and the door to further rooms is on the far wall (stage right). There is a prominent mirror on one wall (stage right) and a window on another (stage left). The room is cluttered: the curtains are bed sheets; beer bottles, chip bags and empty Gap bags litter the floor, countertops, and table. Brad is in the reclining chair watching television. Melanie is folding men's clothes on the table. A broken cell phone lies between the television and Brad. An empty can of Coca-Cola sits at the top of the stage. Brad wears a black t-shirt and gray pants. Andy (off-stage) wears green cargo pants, and gray t-shirt. He is a large man, standing at least six inches taller than the other men. Jason (off-stage) wears brown cargo pants and a gray t-shirt.
Melanie Listen. You need to listen before you ramble away. I looked for it for over an hour. It wasn't there. I must have asked her a dozen times. Finally, I simply asked, "where are the files for the lawyers?" She gives me this bewildered look and tells me, "oh, I put them under t for the lawyers".
Brad Well, it is the definite article [picks up a piece of the cell phone and examines it and then places it back on the floor].
Melanie She's a nice girl and pretty, but she's a moron. I can't, for the life of me, figure out how she got this job. I missed my lunch break because of her.
Brad (gets up from the chair and then sits back down). I don't know why you tell me all this work-related stuff; y'know I'm terribly uninterested. She's not my problem. Your work is not my problem. I'm ill-suited for labour and the information thereof; I'm even ill-suited for reaching for stuff.
Melanie You think this is something to brag about? You've spent your whole life doing nothing.
Brad Yeah, but you can't have some-thing without no-thing. I embody the primordial. Besides, my pursuit of sloth keeps me pretty busy. Do you realize how much energy it takes to do things so poorly that other people will do them for you? I mean, there's a design here.