Junk
by Christopher Largen
Imagine... In response to rampant obesity, the U.S. Government declares war on junk food.
Authorities investigate salt addicts. Candy wrappers are illegal paraphernalia. Pre-employment urine-screenings test for illicit food traces. Insulin is outlawed so legislators can avoid sending mixed messages about sugar abuse. Corrupt police divert doughnuts from evidence rooms. Liposuction is mandatory. Military forces eradicate African cocoa fields. The Ice Cream Crew and the Praline Posse battle beneath Neighborhood Weight-Watch signs.
I'm the author of JUNK (ENC Press, 2005), a riotous satire about food prohibition that preliminary reviews are calling a classic in the tradition of Mark Twain, WIll Rogers, George Orwell and Kurt Vonnegut. The novel unfolds through the eyes of disparate characters who collide with hilarious and harrowing results:
Officer Justin Bailey — a cop torn between public safety and common sense
Billy Sweet — a legitimate baker turned black-market profiteer
Reverend Moe Goodman — a food-abuse counselor with a gun and a mission
Paulina — a teenage convict in an exercise boot camp
Kyle Frankfurt — a bloated junk food junkie hell-bent on eating himself to death
Farah C. Forbes — a Tammy Faye wannabe who despises Willy Wonka
George Mabry — one of seven American diabetics allowed to use insulin
The Candy Man — a psychotic smuggler who will murder to keep his product illegal
Sugar — a hyperactive Doberman with a taste for confections and blood
Lest anyone think it’s all dark fantasy, JUNK is peppered with poignant “mockuments” from the War on Junk, including court records, news articles, and prison letters — all culled from actual drug-war headlines and documents.
Christopher Largen Author of JUNK (ENC Press, 2005) and Prescription Pot (New Horizon Press, 2003) (940) 382-9210
Preliminary JUNK Reviews
“Brilliant! Satire at its best!” — Michael Constantine McConnell, author of Detroit Stories
“JUNK is a classic comedy in the style of Mark Twain or Will Rogers.” — Jack A. Cole, executive director, Law Enforcement Against Prohibition
“A brilliant mockumentary with frighteningly Orwellian dynamics… Packed with insight, irony, and no small dose of hilarity, JUNK seethes like a District Attorney who just lost a case on a technicality.” – Renee Vaughn Hayes, editor of Venues Magazine
“JUNK leads you down a familiar path and then BOOM — natural thought patterns are jolted into the unfamiliar... JUNK is a mind-boggling realization, a very imaginative approach toward a very real issue.” — Dr. Juliet Getty, Professor of Nutrition, University of North Texas
“I loved this book so much I will read it again! A hilarious, horrifying, thought-provoking ride… So simple, yet so eloquent! Read JUNK at your first opportunity, but eat a snack first. It might be the last treat you’re ever allowed to swallow!” — George McMahon, co-author of Prescription Pot
“JUNK is Vonnegut styled, ironical witty satire that laughs out loud at misguided causes… I cared about the characters… There’s not enough of this kind of clean, neat prose anymore. The message rang loud and clear but never screamed at me. Carry on, Mr. Largen!” — Leslie Miller, Books to Enjoy
“Portraying the worst and best in my profession, JUNK demonstrates real possibilities for America. It is a wake up call to lovers of liberty.” — Officer Howard J. Wooldridge (retired), Law Enforcement Against Prohibition
“JUNK is laugh out loud funny!” — Suzanne Wills, Drug Policy Forum of Texas
“I laughed and I cried! JUNK is beautiful! Mr. Largen possesses a talent to touch people in a way they can’t forget.” — Rhonda Cheatham, Florida Cannabis Action Network
“JUNK is priceless... a wonderful character driven satire, simple and straightforward, a searing indictment of prohibition policies.” — Al Byrne, Patients Out of Time
"JUNK is a hoot! Largen exposes the frailties and failings of the drug war with humor and glaring insights into the heart of prohibition. After reading this book, sweets will taste a little sweeter.” — Dean Becker, talk radio host, Cultural Baggage
“JUNK is hilarious and tragic! I ate 2 bags of extra butter flavored popcorn by page 100! The editing is fantastic!” — Mike Smithson, Law Enforcement Against Prohibition