slowly

we will not get through this.

I have spent too many nights listening

to old records, trying to find

something to tie us together.

There will be no songs between us.

you have me

afraid to come home, afraid

of walking in on you, on her,

pantomiming nightmares-

I will not sleep

with her sweat on her sheets.

we will not get through this.

I have spend too many nights

drinking suicide songs in your name,

in your memory

the places I thought we’d go

together

never existed.

We will not get through this.