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I'm A Faaaaat Guuurrrlll
I'm a Faaaaat Guuurrrlll!
Not PHAT
But baby
FAT
Lol
Yes I'm fabulous and more than thick
Kind of fluffy
But ohh so lovely
If I was your girlfriend
You would never have to worry about me showing
All my booty
To all your friends
Cuz the booty is on lock down
With control top panties
Only breaking loose
In total privacy
Oh yes
I'm a fat gurl
Waist 39
Bust 48
And hips 52
Believe me I'm not lying to you
I'mma big girl
I'm a fat girl
But never under estimate the fat
Lol
No
because it will lie to you
Telling you
That no one wants me
Because I'm not a size 2
Or that your man would never look at me
Because you're smaller than me
Oh yes baby the fat lies
Just like it tells me
Girl you don't look
That big
In those Baby Phat jeans
It lies to the playas
Telling them that they can play me
Cause I'm a fat girl
They just didn't know they were my back up
In case my real man had to cancel
It was you I called to take me out to eat
And a movie
Oh the fat deceives us all
Telling me I can eat that slice of cheesecake
And that it won't reincarnate on my thighs
And cheeks
Oh the fat is sooo tricky
So tricky
Like the way it hides in my thighs
And only resides minimally in my tummy
But bulges out in my bra cup
That dang fat
Will get somebody in trouble
But most of all
There is one thing that the fat will insure me
That if I ever get in an argument
Or altercation with someone
The first thing they are going to yell
Is "You Fat"
Bleepity bleep bleep
Oh
no fight
with a plus size woman
Ever escapes that slanderous name
But I say it with pride
No more denying my fat
Jelly or
Cream filling
Because I am a fat girl
Who is Lovely
Phenomenally
So when you look at the next skinny chick
Just say to her
Ho'stess
"Where's the crème filling?"
What is Romance and Intimacy in 2007?
A man asked me this
I was stumped
And upset because I couldn't answer him?
I thought to myself
It's saying you will come over
And you do
So I'm happy
Even though it's 11 at night
Nooo
It's saying I'mma call you after work
But I don't hear from you until after 9
Nooo
Its Lets go to a movie
But oh
Change of plans
Lets watch this DVD
At my place
On my couch
So I can feel on you
Nooo
It's actually having a conversation
Before doing the do
Noo
What the hell is it
Obviously it hasn't shown its presence around me
I don't know Intimacy
And who the hell is romance?
Is that the new couple I met at the gym?
Or maybe the zoo
Or are they related to Kim
Anyway, I don't know them
Or I'm having a damn hard time remembering
Who they are
Where did they came from
Or why they came in the first place
I don't know who's to blame
For their disappearance
People are immune to it
Like the little girls
Receiving the vaccine for the Human Papilloma Virus
I know who killed it
It was rough sex
The porn industry
TV
Sexual demeaning rap music
Booty calls
And
Lowered standards
But fuck all of that
Cuz I still don't know
What
Romance
Or Intimacy
Means?
So can you please share their definition with me?
You Don't Know Me
You don't know me
You don't know me
You look at me and see satiety
You look at me and think
She's kind of pretty
She think she all that
You look at me and say she doing all right
But you don't know me
So what gives you the right?
To label me
You don't know my story
You don't know my history
Or where I get my rhythms
Baby
My rhythms come from the ghetto
Everyday I struggle
Because I have one silver stiletto
Still in the ghetto
It's holding onto my ankles
Saying don't you remember me
You know you a project kid
What you know about that government cheese
You know you have recipes
That involved that ingredient
What you know about not having no heat
In the winter
In the middle of the night shivering
Teeth chattering
Taking a shower in the mornings
To get ready for school
But if you have no heat
That means there's nothing heating
The water also
What you know about hustling
Lying
To your friends saying
Oh yea moms and me got a phat place
Out east
Knowing that really you were homeless
Staying with your auntie
Eventually that auntie
Gets tired of taking care of someone
That's not there responsibility
So
You stay at a friend's house
Not to kick
At the age of 14
Shhh I needed a place to live
If you knew me
Personally
Would I allow you to know this?
Hell no
It's a hustler's ambition
Turn your lemons into lemonade
Then sell it in the shade
What you know about stealing your school clothes
Because you be dammed if you are about to have that last year's shhh on
What you know about doing your own hair
And acrylic nails
Not because you like it
It's because you don't want to look any different from anyone else
What you know about making your own money in the 5th grade
Babysitting for strippers in the projects
Because there's big money in it
At the age of 11
What you know about being bounced around from house to house
The only solid family you have is your Grannie
Of which literally goes insane
From being put in a nursing home
And eventually passes on you
When your 15
Where's your hope
When you leave your mother's house
To be in your boyfriend's house
Jumping from one verbal abuser
To the other
What you know about being used
By the one you truly loved
And thought you couldn't do without
But you don't mean a bronze Ab Lincoln
To them
What you know about going to high school
Working a full time job
Own apartment
Paying all your bills
Because the man you thought loved you
Says naw, this is tooo much
I'm going back to my momma's house
What you know about feeling as if you're worthless
Because that's what other people wanted you to believe
What you know about having an abortion
And nobody knowing
What you know about crying because you know you killed your daughter
To escape a widely agreed upon statistic
See I was not about to graduate with a pop belly
I didn't abort my baby
I aborted a piece of my soul
That still hurts
That still cries
And every time I look into a baby girls eyes
I hurt inside
You don't know me
You don't know me
You don't know me
You don't know me
I am nothing and everything that you preconceived of me
You don't know how it feels to be told
Not to smile
Because a loved one felt
It was ugly
I spent majority of my life smiling with my mouth closed
Until I met me
Realized I was worthy
Then I realized my smile was like the sunrise
It could brighten up a room
Ugly it was not
It's funny how the enemy tries to destroy you
And for me it seems he's tried everything
But no matter how he tests me
What God has for me
It is for me
I was not born to a life of privilege
But to a life of struggle, strife, trials and tribulations
So all I have to say is that
Don't look at me and judge me
Because you don't know me.
Tanisha Alexander
Email: Tanisha Alexander
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