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The Secret
Walking against the moons light; a shadow following behind me, my pace quickens.
My breath is deeper, faster in the cool air. The darkness is on one side of everything
with silver iridescent light cast on the other. Simple objects bearing resemblance to
mythical creatures, but I stay focused. My weight landing on my toes first than as I
feel the ground under me I carefully place my foot down. I’m making little noise as
I run through the forest crushing the leaves with every step. The time doesn’t matter
had I known prior to this I would have been prepared. I have looked everywhere and
can’t find them. She is close behind and can’t hear them. Nothing.
My words are gone, nowhere to be found. It is like the vital life force has been taken
from me. My connection to the divine has been disconnected and lost forever. Even the
beginning of the story is just out of my reach. She is just a few steps behind me and
I can hear her thoughts she is so close, I can almost taste for her existence. The object
of my desires is in her hands. She carries the truth on her back like a small child wrapped
safely in case of emergency. The only emergency is the lack of words.
I spot his brown eyes watching me run, her brother who knows why. Why there are so many
obstacles between me and the gates to all that I have ever wanted. He can’t contain his
laughter in his Timeless way his face lights up when I know he is there.
“Are they in the seeds that you have sown?” she asks, though she knows I didn’t plant
a garden this year the first year in awhile. I spent so much time just watering all
my potted plants because there was so little rain.
‘Did you leave them at school?” She giggles. No, no I’ve been online and see all the
formulated regulations with no time to play. Official rules out my opinions and self
all in the name of the game to pass a class. No, No, No my words have found no social
justice the compliance of regulation that encompasses the homework. My motive has been
removed with my prose and rules.
“What about lunch at noon, did you cook and eat them? “ Zoe said as she was looking.
The gypsy reminded me that it was getting late. I spend most of my time preparing food,
serving and eating. My words use to boil over. I could catch them from my mind and put
them on paper and they would just stay there, right where I left them. They didn’t stay
though, I went to put them there and they were gone. I had missed my chance.
I was so busy. They came and left before I realized. I only had so much time before
they were gone. I was trying too hard to make the words appear on the page. The connection
was lost through technology. The process of development is over shadowed by the distribution
the inertia becomes dissolved.
“What if you just typed? Then could you find them?” Mr. Timeless said to me. I could
just start typing if only that voice were loud and clear. I stopped listening so long
ago, so it stopped talking with no one listening. He bends down and picks a purple
flower and smells it. He tucks this sweet intoxicating lavender behind my ear.
“How do you wake up that voice that helps you to create?” I have been so busy for
so long, I just realized I lost it. Would I ever find it?’
“It’s all in you Mom” I just have to make time.
Michelle Bryan has been published in three versions of the library of poetry, 93, 04, and 07. Michelle
also produced a single piece of profound prose about rape that was one of the pieces preformed
on MCTV. Her art has been shown in single shows at the Belly Bowl, Four Directions, and Dancing
Dragon. The community’s shows that she has participated in were for the Deerfield Valley arts, and
The Vagina Monologues fundraiser. She holds an associate’s degree in fine arts from Gcc and a BA in Environmental and Holistic arts
Email: Michelle Bryan
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