When physicians' loved ones are patients
Online posting: January 30, 1997
Published in print: Mar. 1, 1997 (CMAJ 1997;156:636)
Re: Too close for comfort? A family physician questions whether
medical professionals should be excluded from their loved ones'
care, by Dr. Michael C. Klein, CMAJ
1997;156:53-5 [full text / résumé]
Dr. Klein's thoughtful and courageously written article struck
a nerve. It has been 3 1/2 years since my wife Kathy had a
myocardial infarction, and we too had both good and bad
experiences with the medical and nursing professions. I still
cannot think about it without feeling a great deal of anger
toward those who treated us poorly and gratitude that we finally
found a team that gave us high-quality care. Even now, it is hard
for me to write about it.
I will not go into the details of our experience, but I will
make some general observations. I am a pediatrician and my wife
is a nurse who used to work in intensive care. When she became
ill, the staff at the first hospital resented what they described
as my "omnipresence." They could not see that Kathy was
frightened and could not relax without a friendly face around. As
a pediatrician, I accept the presence of family by the bedside as
routine, but somehow in adult medicine this is considered
bizarre. That I was seen as a threat was obvious; only a few
physicians spoke to us like human beings.
When Kathy was discharged, our family physician was a source
of comfort as well as care. However, the specialist who cared for
her showed his discomfort by resorting to humour. I felt that he
was not listening to my concern that Kathy was experiencing
unstable angina. It turned out that she was and that she required
a quintuple bypass graft.
That operation was performed in St. Paul's Hospital in
Vancouver, and I cannot say enough about the staff there. The
physicians and nurses at St. Paul's enlisted me as an ally. The
nurses called Kathy their nursing sister and gave her excellent
care. It was a refreshing change.
I too had problems with colleagues who felt that I was
harassing them about various aspects of her care. Some could
handle the acute care but had difficulty dealing with the
residual effects of the disease, particularly the emotional
aspects.
I think that most physicians who have seen their spouse become
critically ill have had similar experiences. I believe that Kathy
has become a better nurse and that I have become a better
physician as a result. I do not have an answer to Klein's
question about how to be vigilant but not overbearing. At times
relatives of the sick must be both, especially when dealing with
professionals who will not listen.
Jonathan D. Slater, MD
Kamloops, BC
jslater@mail.netshop.net
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