Why?
CMAJ 1997;157:1516
Dr. Robert Krell's article, "Confronting despair: the Holocaust survivor's struggle with ordinary life and ordinary death" (CMAJ 1997;157[6]:741-4), is outstandingly important, both to professionals and fellow children of Holocaust survivors. I am both, and I carry a similar legacy.
I used to joke that as other kids grew up on fairy tales, I was told stories from the camps. Now, as I struggle in mid-life with the lingering impact of such psychological trauma, I know that it is no joke. It is not only that I was exposed to death at too young an age but also that stories of extreme horror were told and retold, always in a rote, unemotional style. The result is profound confusion: I swing like a pendulum between excessive compassion and almost cold, grim determination.
After I grew up, I left home and closed the door, happy not to have to listen to the grim stories any more. Now, "unfinished business" that was buried for 20 years has come to the forefront.
Our trauma seems minor, sometimes even to professionals. We are our own worst enemies: we become overachievers to overcompensate, discounting the serious difficulties resulting from our early insecure attachment1 to seriously damaged parents and survivor guilt. Although I know many children of survivors, the fact that we never discuss these topics reveals the extent of our denial.
Dr. Krell is a psychiatrist. I am a physician psychotherapist. I wonder if this is a coincidence.
Julie Righter, MD
Toronto, Ont.
Reference
- Karen R. Becoming attached. New York: Warner Books; 1994.
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