The Poems

If I Were Burt Reynolds

From the Christmas, 2003, issue 

(No. 11)

I’d never be afraid.

One smirk at the lens leaves

Smokey eating my dust.

Shoot the rapids with ease—

ace the Cannonball Run.

Tight shirts—tight slacks—tight smile

perfect blonds every night.

Never afraid to look you

in the eye and say: Hi,

my name is Burt Reynolds.