A Night with Yoric A Poem 2010 by Klaus J. Gerken PROLOGUE You begin with some dirt I guess A mad prince and an amber skull Bleached white...it's the eyes that capture the attention Black hollow so consistent Sea-shell echo not of sea But a broken holocaust and a mental rape that pisses duty to the wind in ravines behind rotted buildings no one sees alley no one cleans because the piss of ages is just too monumental for a human brain to break into a synapse of decay maybe this is Alzheimer's dementia maybe it's just an explosive wonder of what Keats could not believe: Beauty can be Ugly - The devil's in the pizza apple ripening avocados green your basic revolution on a stick lick your fingers broken hearted consequence evolution meant no more one the plastic has been melted and the hour glass is salt sifted through a blue-faced misdemeanor Life is broken by the bell tolls amazing consequences through a harbour drill of violence where peace is recreation New sky revolution blazing trail of egg-shell evolution ripe with science spade in earth and through a plastic microscope - a revelation god is dead and she was never quite the devil HE became broken hearted loneliness fries that coat your belly- bean-ache discovered truly like a salt attack hovering delusion empty discourse 10 miles up but whatever must go up comes down meteoritic blaze smile in dirt anointed cup blowing bubbles were we sup last requisition time's just up - no one knew it but a cop with swollen feet...and waiting didn't see it coming... sadly he was never seen again broken arrow and a curse quiet revolutions can't be so much worse lovely in their dissidence throw a spade into the sea see it drown frown cat's paw and a beauty pill never leave a lover ill kill his watermelon head paradise tiara bleeding ointment perfume savvy slaughtered lamb mother crying damn! if god demands such cruelty god is not a GOD! so be it a lamb that's slaughtered desecrates the temple of poetry - black stone white lamb herring bread and grains of salt solution crystal clarity where the red wine rots so does life - foolish virgins proliferate - candlesticks of Roman deviation - false divinity - purple robe and vanities - shadow mirrors fruit divine - cross the Rubicon the Jordan but not the Elbe...spearland...ancient rites where Norma sacrifices children and her men. So, where's the fire in the wood? The water in the desert? The murder on the Rood? Where's the Sang Real? The dusty desert books? Hidden knowledge? Beneath the Sphinx? How get real? There's no monument to knowledge just to revolution... And the mind a bowling ball prosthetic hobbling like a robot down the runway to a stubble-field of flight sometime strikes and how we celebrate the verbal acrobatics swing high wire across the academic universe on chalkboards mastering equations without a realistic mudsling romp in forests where trees obscure the trees and sunshine descends in sheets of luminescence essence where the truth begins maybe with a lie...why? just try. So the wine glass is broken and the cat is in the cupboard. Existence is a solid apple yet uneaten. ripe. or rotting. field of our revision. cats paw. hurly burly. boiling cauldron. fog anticipation. rolling hyperbole on the horizon. no stars shining. benedictus. rubber soul. What save u Yoric minaret exploding? a war. night. comes falling like a meteor. blazing. trail of wax. raging. unicorn upon a mountain. ship of fools. unknown destination. oily migraine and the chess pieces do not match. war is just an ugly game. brain drain. flush the toilet. please. cowslip. see u later m. la pomme! what amazing grace! rood upon the sacrifice. shaking earth. face to face. Foul wind. Kittens playing. Frozen harmony. Smoggy moon. Excessive danger lurks where liars smile. broadly. gleaming eyes. they greet you quite off centre. where the Dao is not followed a crooked shadow follows. TV nightmare. repetition. brings the ratings up, though. windy twisted newspapers scattered through the streets. squirrels use them as fodder for their next gulls attack them weave around your ankles (paperless society. They say! churning out more garbage than we possible can have use for. words and images scattered haphazardly in a brain that no longer holds top purpose... horizons do not just expands they have always been expanded the mind expands one synapse at a time the corpse that disappears the hound that no one hears the rose that has no thorns all that we have managed to contain within sporadic evolution the game's the hunter not the game and pain is still pain Starvation, starvation and gain, very much still gain so... pretty jeshua on the cross you look so pretty in the churches like you're enjoying "our" salvation... I doubt "why hast thou forsaken me" cuts the cake no matter how "they" explain it. not a matter of faith ice cream melts upon the stick when the humidity get hot and that can be a lot of faith in you health in your life in your perseverance and the golden gate is always open to those who pay (pray) they say Feb / May 2010 Spring The wild wind is blowing white lilac blossoms across the empty deserted sunday street 20 July 2010 I FOUNDATION 1 vision vision the blind man builds a house writes poems strolls down the beach demolishes fireplace "the stones did not feel right" "but this feels good...I want this" "goodbye Nates" when the poet retires, Nates 50 years retires for good. there is so much force in continuity a vision a dream a phoenix a blind bird singing cannot be released his master consequently must be imprisoned but Milerepa was up there 10,000 songs heavy back crushing knees one cottage built tear it down do you not see that you can say no? no. one does not lag the enterprise no matter how ridiculous the tag seems to beg the meaning of control I am a-rage of the beginning and the past but not the future I am a-rage at the present since I am it's cause one more plate of bacon and eggs for breakfast let us not go lean but ban every cruelty that kept us alive a million (2?) years...what we did then we do not do now. children that we were adults we are now cling to respected institutions cement encased in academic cement so many have I seen demolished by the institution so many have I seen broken in the wave of academic matters so many have seem honoured in their nothingness... street poets with PhD's grants that continue long after the trickle of sensibility has worn out... Poets make their way by stealth they crawl into your underwear they are the itch upon your penis you won't check out but wear a monumental scratch ever afterwards and women be wise you are not immune deeper in you is the smear of blood upon your saviour pads your inbetween children of conception smear head first into an ugly stale and antiseptic insurrection... they are born to kill you make no denial of that as a mantis eats her mate your children devour you why shock? the universe is dynamic...galaxies consume galaxies flesh consumes flesh till there's nothing left to us consummation is infinite so is conception rotoblades of evolution sucked into a dream if you will to "set you free" good baseline guitar rift let's settle... When the barristers commence their activity frozen lobsters cannot be a delicious alternative to murder and homeless women can no longer be a pebble on the ground the law like everyone else relies on a solid foundation if not a solid nation green sun nurtured grass breeds a good lawn shadow on a neglected lawn breeds fleas the grass is in decline all we need to do is water it rockets into space tell us nothing maybe how stupid we are have you found anyone who listens? west east north south no one shakes hands no one sees the moon cycling the earth no one sees the earth cycling the sun no one sees the sun circling the galaxy no one sees that we can't be see from there... from there we don't matter and our fallacy of religion is a sandstorm in a desert on a planet no one knows about... and when they come you will be so amazed or not... maybe killed them all... I don't understand you people of this world. You have taken everything and given nothing back. Excuse me while I break my back. 6 Jun 2010 2 clear sky rebellious cloud sweet wind I savour my ground ground of where we used to be edge of where we are open sea beach lapping at the waves mingle salt with desert sand salvations seem a devil off ... where we cannot differentiate the good and the necessity Joshua blows his horn The Israelites attack Homer has his horse Achilles his heel Norma her daughters Cecil B Demile his reels Sometimes no one sees a thing sees everything Cuxhaven between two tankers heavy sea torrential rain my father banging rod against the steel the weight of sound is everything when survival wakes the rat he cd tell the tonnage just by that no one smuggled on his watch but the work was grueling long and dirty and a barber before the war he wanted his own shop dreamt of distant shores found his shop in a could de sac near an abattoirs the stench of blood a regal retribution death and slavery screeching sows and howling cattle i brought his dinner i every night there fascinated by the empty tubes of hair cream in his window i took home and handled so delicately knowing any pressure they wd crush In Ottawa the tiny dark alleys disappeared wooden houses asphalt no warm garrets with slanting roof...no rooftop windows no secret room where a kid could hide and be alone in his sheltered universe and the sun was not so bright cerulean blue turn to turquoise and a cold humidity was boiling hot larva kids did not complain but adults always did and suffered those first years comic books and stamp collections neighbour's hidden stash of porno mags bikini clad women today's newspaper fodder no one wd think twice about sears catalogue was "more obscene" but kids grow by finding things like kittens but no nine lives or so it seems my mother always kept stray cats in those years and we moved sometimes twice a year always in the same neighbourhood and I learned English fast knew pladdeutsch gave me a garden of verses as a gift let me draw david slay the monster i was proud but someone erased it before he morning class began i stayed hours after school later i found out it was my mother cleaning woman at the school never asked her why or later why she threw all my paintings out i stored in the basement of her home years of work not to be replaced and my father built a garden shed with a large mural he took apart wood was only useful as wood he said not as art art was wallpaper and cheap reproduction in a plastic frame poetry was worse it didn't advertise or bring the news or wasn't song you could play on a mandolin and beg money for the entertainment Goethe was a Dichter Schiller was a Dichter Hoelderlin was crap Heine you could sing make music too - cd understand loralei and all that cake I soon got sick of flowers meadows laurel leafs... Cuxhaven was oily waters prostitutes steamy bath houses nude men and women used to run out in the yard winter frost breathing heavily kids in the abandoned lot next door giggling and the warehouse across the street where they used to play doctor with old men knew where to put old horny sailors then one good slap and whimper they'd away like a stray ocean wave breaking on the shore... Canada was different Colonial wrought thought with somehow guilt with what they did to anyone but just don't mention it 15 jUN 10 3 fusion Lans aux meadows windy bluff vineyard closer to Cape Cod than Newfoundland (Newfoundland and Labrador now) got to get things right the politics of grand inclusion leave no one out but only if it's on the table polished see your face don't dare stain the surface let alone do anything to upset the equilibrium justice after all is blind with equal scales not so the law apparently or government apparently the vikings never returned not to this day unless of course to play the sticks for huge sums of money the arena commands respect keep the underlings content through entertainment keep them poor keeps the cops busy it all works out matrix of society one bleeds into the other nothing rosy as a happy family climb the thorns fusion 15 Jun 10 4 244am Tuesday 15 June 2010 Cold in here Star Trek Voyageur on TV Cats in the study Jasmine curled up to the right of my laptop Bruno on the yellow edwardian chair by the door and Isobel purring on the shredded pale blue sofa by the window me reading Olson's Maximus poems the man who carried the house on his head who flew to get the sausages and somehow it was spring it is spring ottawa ontario canada 249am tuesday 15 June 2010 5 lights out midday lights out in the hallway in the stairwell ten floors up had to walk bad heel three times down up down up down up once in total darkness to buy a goddam flashlight that works but without TV and comp. got to read 200 more pages of maximus decline of a costal village way of life lineage from there to cuxhaven we came went come life of and from the height ocean past the pillars of hercules where atlantis should have been there was america 2000 years later and on tv the world cup of soccer on the continent where apes stood up made tools made spears made war and no one yet makes peace 6 Ferraton Pere & Fils 2007 Crozes-Hermitage La Maliniere The poet drinks too much The poet thinks too much The poet has too much silence to relate Those who listen hear nothing those who hear hear themselves The poet smiles what's a poem for if not self revelation? 7 free the bird of human oily nature greed and flabbergasting 14 June 2010 This is where it stands upon a mountain of dirt a citadel with tunnels exploring half caved in ancient long forgotten This is where it stands excavation old road leading up to where? This is where it stands not there. 15 June 2010 stand. let stand. quicksand. why is there always a no solution rather than a one? we freeze like icebergs easily. 9/10ths under water. slowly melting. damage done. holographic. periodically we do do get it. shallow on the horizon. it beings with dirt. maybe just a handful. but it's dirt. dirty none-the-less. black brown dirt. and not always compost. mutchtimes gray dust blowing in a hollow wind. we not always sneeze to see the lungs explode. where maggots in the bread taste "gourmettish". termites build and under- neath below there's thunder where the bridge spans spaces wonderous- ly small even quantum physics cannot touch it. halleluiah. praise the lords. wondrous without the luxury of commendation. link to a shadow. and a shadow links to you. bread is a poor man's luxury. jesus hitler stalin thought of that. brilliantly. the other guy just demanded 5 time prayer. keeps them on a leash. what is not political is religious. 16 June 2010 stand. let stand. where there is no water is desert. dry mouth. sun. crumbling pyramids. dark mestabas. once was paradise is crumbled parchment. only gold survives. to our wonder. sprinkle of a starry night. twisted. scorpion tail. shiver night. illusion. 3 trees in the wilderness. at any one time only two are seen. what is there is not and not is there. at any one time. onetime. ripple baked air. long trek. footprints dissipate the moment they are made. forgotten. dry moon. nothing changes. not on earth. we are transient. transient. what i have wrought is what i am. pound was wrong to be apologetic. what he wrought is what he wrought. in stone? nothing we no make is stone. economics. bottom line. 3 month future. what monuments will be left when the soul electric's gone? we have given nothing to the future. rotting garbage. only plastic survives. vile plastic. not gold. used condoms. not gold. stand. let stand. broken arrow. in a stag's hind. where the first to bridge the gap hunterers or fishers? the debate continues. one though thing is certain. they are here. now. in poverty enslaved. europe's legacy in the new world. order. give 'em money. like they gave 'em liquor. like they gave 'em worthless. stand not proud o christians! what you wrought is rotten to the core. at least the roman's reveled in their gore. what you hide will rot your guts. slowly. wind rain darkness in my head darkness wind rain outside wet buildings wet air through the windows cats drowsy drowsy sleep comes easy here 16 June 2010 455pm let stand. wash away the poison. if not water. raging rivers of methane. organic. precursor to whatever life become. ifbecomesanything. open? closed? cycle. cyclical. one step back and we reach far. 17 June 2010 excalibur expunged rockcliff petroglyphs arc of stars and dust we grow underneath once clear crystal we saw each atom breathing now there is no breath just a cotton mask containing our own carboniferous waste make haste books crumble "Yes, I do see, they tell me everything" our winsome howl strung empty through a cosmic scowl but what whimper? who's whimper? who's kiss? King Arthur could exist? Without Merlin? Without Lancelot? Without the rest of the lot? Glastonbury, dig deep. jesus' children do not do us proud should we weep? water into wine? the romans already knew the trick. skins of fermented resin. just add water. instant wine. falernium was the best. tar. samos muscat is the best we have today...takes my breath away "2 weeks open on the shelf makes it palatable" we forget the ancient world a lot it has to offer king jesus what is not politics is religion and it was politics. now religion. 18 June 2010 and then the templars made a move first bank of europe western union the interest is your land profitable Jerusalem beneath the temple of the mount dig deep deeper still rotting uprights cemetery _______________,scotland saint claires even trudeau prime minister got into the act margaret and the stones gimme shelter nothing less that's what they did the templars "protecting" pilgrims on the road to starvation death, and poverty if they returned to fallow lands confiscated by the church when de morney fell hard the knights of st john on the other hand survived in malta circle stones oldest temples sacred land healing ground a hospital so we trace a lineage sang real san greal sangreal blood vessel womb but where did they go? someday columbus sailed from palos spain same day columbus sailed templar cross on topsail no priest giving mass converted jews headed south where the armada of a thousand exiled jews sailed north same day an exodus history ignores did they all sail to scotland as is presumed the templars did? or did some arrive in cuxhaven bremen newcastle iceland the new world new england cave with templar knight carved in rock or did some accompany columbus to the indies? what was salvaged and what was left lost on the santa maria wrecked templar cross (banned templar cross) on the mainsail and did columbus know more than he made out to know was he a follower of other vessels did he break apart from them did some go to florida south america later explorers were amazed at how many "fair skins" there were among the natives. an armada of a thousand templar ships can't just vanish into a thin dark night there is no fog but a human fog can obscure such mass Germany 0 - 0 Serbia 20:15 37:00 Klose gone 2 yellows Germany 0 - 1 Serbia 39.00 civilized rules yellow cards 2 off no crimson here paraded on an emperor's robe caesar murdered those who want power must acquiesce to power make a show of it a display not the battle field far away and has no spectators but the arena displays te consequence immediately no months waiting for the news Germany miss Germany penalty shot miss there is something going on here isn't there mr jones? but caeser ddn't have a clue they say he though he was invincible he trusted the wrong bunch of hypocrites but then generals make poor politicians for the most part and emperors conquer do not ask permission but the desperate can also be wounded animals and dangerous as caesar discovered when the eagle swooped into his ken 83:03 history flows ebbs and wanes the ten must defend 11 time strangles 86:00 Serbia's ball 88:03 the crossing of the Rubicon 89:47 serbia's save 90:00 desperation free kick to serbia this Rubicon has been crossed by a very different tribe perfect defence gorilla war but caesar is still dead and the roman empire is no more excepts in a stage show that pretends to be a church Germany 0 - 1 Serbia Final Not that the cats care they are playing their own games and seem to have too much fun to care who wins. But history obscures through loss loss of memory loss of documents loss through age loss through conquering or being conquered loss through ignorance loss through love or loss through hate loss through ultimatum loss through law or lawlessness loss through accident loss through purpose losses we regret or losses we do not loss through death or loss through life and we are we are through loss not gain produce what others want it is not garbage such is our society money speaks makes us whole solid our survival quality what we want is what some get trite my father had an apple orchard not really just a piece of land feldenweg cuxhaven sat me on his bicycle and rode me there cobbled streets that hurt my rump cage o' rabbits he handled cruel i thought and there I flew my kite a kite you can be sure of with each gentle tug you tame the wind so far above your tussled hair blond like chauci romams didn't like they though it was the moon glowing through the wild oak trees hooting owls with bright fiery eyes scared them so much they shat in their boots kore came kore oft he underworld and too what souls they had away for ransom commerce and the kite got twisted in a tree and i climbed the tree and i fell from the tree to the ground and as kids are resilient i was resilient and cursed the kite and cursed the wind but never cursed myself the captain of the ship cruel awakening when adulthood shifted hopes and dreams to mathematical reality you had the equation wrong the wind has no equation but to blow NNW circular from the gulf stream geophysics and the kite is only in control as long as the captain pulls the string properly guides through the unknown guides the known o my captain! why must your defeat serve history and not history serve you? oh my captain! is the moment final where the moment is ascertained a priori? do we really know before the powder blast shifts the equilibrium of the muses under our control? take the washing of hands so vital to our salvation where politico vanities stop just before the mud and promise "the small ones will be taken care of" washing machines out of all proportion seek the ultimate white blinding white light at the end of the shaft dig deeper you have made the muck so how shall we distribute this years' rations? the fool who tumbles down the hill might just be the rich food who owns the hill subject to a memory 30 years beyond without photographs without documents the romans swept away under some carpet in a desert tent conquering the "orient" silk was much more economical that a bloodied profit on a rood stood by those who no more than betrayed him but each event horizon speaks of GOD out of nothing something speaks of GOD so presume GOD is nothing nothing exists therefore GOD exists and we exist through GOD-nothing taunting ignorant chastising basis of all "christian" law ignorance is no excuse sure wasn't to adam-eve set up by GOD-serpent (oh give yourself a different name! Twins don't fool each other - even in a broken union) (1160) duplicity sails our problematic ocean easy way and lazy street compete for sunshine and tequila randy at his madhouse 1975 bottle walking in the basement Indy 500 too gone to talk "I'll do it for a bottle of ..." can't remember back porch too late had you chance later in the basement randy at it with her bottom full exposed... later that night he shot the window out reading ........ neighbours cops were not amused 1980 anne pregnant Randy brought her back to Ottawa for health care hintonberg cindy and i stayed there one night and one night me alone that was before randy and i trucked it to the north country in the gatineau to find a perfect christmas tree chopped it down drank tar black coffee in an overheated log cabin snow knee deep left truck engine sputtering no brakes randy said as we hit the storm white-out on a hill going down randy slapped me on the back "nice knowing you if we don't survive" folded his arms on his chest put his feet up on the dashboard and went to sleep such a man randy was i just held on for the dear of everything minutes? hours? later. looked at each other. got out of the truck. surrounded by trees. front and hind. no tire tracks. no way out. in fact, no way in. randy shrugged his shoulders. got the chain saw and started cutting a path back to the highway. by 11pm we were home. cindy asked why we were so late. randy and i looked at each other quietly. we were delayed i said and that was that. do miracles exist? ask the trees. (1218) cindy and i live in a hell hole then on elgin street all i cd afford across from the museum of natural history i worked at wh smith st laurent long bus ride and to make ends meet carted bags of books to the book bazaar in the glebe through that ugly winter in january i landed a job with dnd as a clerk foot in the door then we moved in march to a decent apartment 1980 Running Scared I thought it was what you wanted I didn't think you'd be so upset The child played tricks but then repented He abused you even before we met I thought you were just waiting there With your ice and insecurity But now i find you holding on To something more than me It's not the walls that float away It's not the truth that falls Beneath the wasted conference Where no one heard the call But I didn't know just what you wanted I ended so unsure Perhaps what could have been much later Could just have been before I didn't want to hurt you I know you won't believe it now Like daggers simply cut a tear It might be better just to break a vow The silence was refusal The silence was a curse "I guess I better hang up" For me it gets much worse A man can only take so much He's got to have time to think Don't give him ultimatums He'll simply break that link Of chains he's wound around you Through love or just through spite When the game of love surrounds you You pull the noose too tight I really can't fight dirty Let him fight that way Tell him that he's won it all There's nothing more to say You say you'll move away from him I don't know what to do You're pushing something different Even trust would never do All these late night meetings All these phone calls too I wonder if you meant it Or was it something "new"? "I think we both enjoyed it" You laughed and I agreed But coming down's much harder Than running scared, you see. 14 Sep 79 You shouted get away from me When you got on the bus You phoned me from the station A feeling all was lost Pervaded all the atmosphere A personal kind of frost I said that I would live with you But interference made a fuss So now we say it's over I still can hear you crying I still can hear you angry Calling names and lying My god how I regret it now I should have formed that bond Lady is it all too late To forgive a foolish man? 14 Sep 79 made strides slowly then faster 1984 my father died 1987 moved to my present building still here now 3 cats and closets of dusty manuscripts 1991 mother died same week I had to go to camp borden to lecture long ride in a white-out worst snow storm in 50 years * "Mr. Gerken has a comprehensive knowledge of the pay system and was highly instrumental in ensuring certified status for all security and MIS issues. This had been an ongoing project in the directorate, but on his own initiative he perused this endeavour with the end result providing confidentiality to all CF members and as well delivering prestige to our organization. Mr. Gerken has sharp analytical skills and constantly contributes to utilizing on line applications thus elimination manual processes. As RACF administrator, he is a key player within the central RACF agency and has provided invaluable input to streamline and disperse procedures which will be used in other systems such as the FIS." LM 10 June 97 * 1993 created Ygdrasil pivotal archived LAC 2000 2010 retired Ygdrasil continues * but the poem isn't me someone else * 19 June 2010 THE HEAT HUMIDITY TYLENOL GRAVOL COLD SWEATING WHITE WINE Isobel curled up next me on the desk fans working working air slept off and on the day away swamp humidity is different than salt humidity cuxhaven we'd wear a sweater ottawa we melt and suffer clinging skin to skin 653pm us open saturday tomorrow jack and heather breakfast 9am hope i can make it missed the last few months 20 June 2010 postponed. abscessed tooth. cuxhaven when dentists still made house calls sat beneath garret window in the kitchen rain streaming down lightning thunder father held my head clamp in mouth no anesthetic yank and tooth was out blood was everywhere a few marks a brandy for the pain and that was that didn't even shed a tear 55 years ago (1369) us open sunday tight * window on the argument dark matter in the universe due to physics golf balls matter * 1030pm open mcdowell even par one up wins * 21 June 2010 summer solstice north winter south even after 4500 years the sun still rises where they placed the stones solid and i was afraid to get on the bicycle so uwe got on and promptly dove into the cesspool i shit my pants not the first time we, playing "doctor" with the neighbours daughter in a shed i pissed on everyone and got so beat up over the incident i never knew it happened until my parents died and i could breathe again such is the device of memory otherwise we'd die upon the spot of our exploratory accidents day is calm now wine tv tapping runes on a computer screen or is it was it all a scream? ye who enter here give up hope before work and ever after no Styx here no rotting boat slime ferryman prime substitution of a fantasy this one don't b'gin in Hell it starts in heaven and works back slowly purposefully it attacks your birth dirt earth mirth... never forget mirth g-o-d presum-ed it made sure his sun upon the cross had a reason (or so the movies answer it -heston is a gem... but the apes are pretty too so delicious when they die symbiotically [Isabelle wiped out 10 lines here which I had to reconstruct - they are not the same - the poem on the rusted deck is different now] of a drunken tanker neither useful nor obsolete just a relic and a baby crying in the wilderness of our oblique...minds * "IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT, WE SAT BY THE CALCINED WALL; IT WAS SAID TO THE TALE-TELLER, TELL US A TALE, AND THE TALE RAN THUS: IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT . . ." THE ANATHEMATA - David Jones 1952 Blade Here I stand the picador's game My blood upon the firmament I hear no weeping Once I stood a tree bare-branched amidst a wood The sap unto the firmament and there was no need for weeping I now have horns to voice revenge yet my body tires easily and there is no rest I once had deep set roots which drank the moisture of the earth I once was strong but my body tires easily and there is no rest I stand falorn the picador's game Once I was a tree... but that was song ago They feed me vinegar now and there is no weeping Klaus J. Gerken Ygdrasil Vol I No 3 September 1976 The blood drips upward toward heaven drilling down to hell * Firmament Ygdrasil roots and odin hung upside down to touch the ground not sky but christians hung the opposite way to kiss the catacombs earth and sky sky and dirt my father told me that is where the heart is that is where the roots are in the sky the living universe seed of consequence mating with the earth ygdrasil Blue stones were the first medicinal blue stones holy shit these really heal where the preacher lives scams grow yellow and the chips glow healing like the Berlin wall carry home memorabilia something has to happen blind men walk and lame men see and the women across the river they kill you with their eyes... * our father who art in heaven holy are thy dice... * blood stones. * lies. * we do not even see the universe with our eyes. false colour. infrared. radio waves. what constitutes reality? our imagination. * 22 June 2010 cars my fathers first car was a 1953 studebaker commander starliner second hand 1959 living then on nelson street ottawa the year they dismantled the street cars trips to kingston gatineau Picnics with wells of clear ice water petawawa fresh summer breeze blowing in my face Bobby Vinton on the radio Roses are red (my love) Connie Francis My Happiness Lolita Sailor Eydie Gorme Blame it on the Bossa Nova I still have all those 45s light blue there is a photo of me at the wheel i wrote marie cliche-royer once: "I was on my way to pick you up for a ride." and she answered: "Ha Ha Ha!" mighty 10 year old... "Marie Cliche-Royer 22 June at 20:41 I remember the time you had moved from Sandy Hill to this new house and your parents invited us to visit them. Your father came to pick us up with his car and we all went at your place for a nice visit. I remember that you brought me to your room to show me the stuff you had.......and asking me if i had a boyfriend and of course i did not have one in that time. You showed me this comic book of Joan of Arc telling me she was a witch and i was shocked by this affirmation because we were raised very catholic and we considered Joan of Arc a saint...........the patron of the FRENCH....... i wouldn't be socked today for i am a non believer... actually i don't know in what to believe........ oh i know!!!!!! i believe you will respond to this message......" 2nd car 1955 buick special 2nd hand 1960 almost accident new york 1st love flushing empire state building lost on subway balharie street baseball 1st base out no sliding flooding skating rink in winter frozen field on my birthday kilbourne barber shop took out front of house forgetting to close door backing out of driveway early morning drives to work alta vista New York 3rd car 65 Buick? ? i don't recall same car till moved to avenue q? and died 84 * the longer we live the farther we journey i wonder if that is true sometimes the most amazing mark is left by those who die young and even growing old we cannot make sense of it we say they died too young are we making excuses for our own flairs? 23 June 2010 3:47am The Galaxy Being Outer Limits I remember 1961 Some September night Staying up till 2am on a school night watching this first episode it never left me even now Isobel is watching it * and where does yoric stand in all of this? up the down stair case you will find it * 4am the hundred days of the dragon savage politics' still relevant one term presidents as prime ministers are so easy to spot they try to do good but don't have a clue how to go about doing it the ruthless stay around is the public clueless or does the public just want to be left alone? * 24 June 2010 Jasmine slept through it Earthquake Information Wednesday June 23, 2010 Local Time: 13:41:41 EDT Magnitude: 5.0 Mw Latitude: 45.9 North Longitude: 75.5 West UT Date and Time: 2010-06-23 17:41:41 UT 8 km E from Val-des-Bois, QC, Felt Bruno and Isobel hid I was at my desk working when the curtains violently blew in at first I thought Tornado then the windows rattled so violently I though they were going to blow out of their casings and then it was over i went out to the balcony bruno ran up meowing isobel was trembling the streets were abundant with concerned people a neighbor appeared on an adjacent balcony i shouted over i think we just had an earthquake he said he was from vancouver island and didn't think this happened here i said we had one about 15 years ago not so strong but lasted longer and therefore much more scary because they building swayed for about a minute this one was over like a blast i went back in comforted isobel then the cats went back to sleep on the window sill tv showed people crowding streets and sirens everywhere confusion i went to the store the parking lot attendant sd she was scared the lot above the building garage wd cave in someone made a joke about the building now being three floors lower i said then they should reduce my rent had a good laugh about that back home isobel was watching the german ghana soccer game jasmine was still asleep on my desk germany won 1 nil so moves on to the next round news this morning all awash with yesterday's news strongest earthquake in ottawa in a hundred years we survived and yes about two hours later i did take a tranquilizer * Wimbledon 22 - 24 June 2010 Mahut 4 6 7 6 68 Isner 6 3 6 7 70 11 hours and 5 minutes * 25 June 2010 when the pterodactyl flew it didn't hover over cities but like a cormorant over choppy waters diving for fish they must have had hollow bones like birds today wind wd carry them far off centre the shadow itself wd be a crushing blow to any paralyzed beneath 130 million years ago one great continent pangea slowly ripped apart by violent abrasions of the earth and a diversity of dominant forms emerged hulking forms was the gravity less to grow such megabiology we know 90million years in the gulf of Mexico yucatan panisula an egg impacted the fertile earth and stepped a different growth beyond he past but well what future history demands we grow in spurts so Gaia she the one repository of our indiscretions and our safety... the earthquake awakens us we just live upon this crust we do not control it Gaia is her own master termites we build elaborate structures and defend them right or wrong territory is our food and our survival (2016) 26 June 2010 I pride myself on the fact that Ottawa is one of the most progressive cities in the developed world accommodating disadvantaged people - those in wheel chairs and with other disabilities. It is therefore most distressing to meet Sean Miller, the distinguished author of "Regaling On Collage Street" stranded in his wheel chair in the first floor hallway of the Purcell Community Centre on Elgin Street not being able to attend his own display at the Ottawa Small Press Book Fair on the second floor of that facility due to the elevators not functioning and no back-up contingencies available. I understand mechanical failures can occur at any moment, but I have been advised that the elevators at this facility have been inactive for at least two weeks, and that Mr. Miller's attendance had been announced for at least that time. It should have been either up to the organizers of the programme or the facility to ensure Mr. Miller could assume his rightful place at the proceedings. I cannot imagine how humiliating this experience must have been to Mr. Miller - to me, able bodied, it was simple disgusting. Klaus J. Gerken 1001 - 257 Lisgar Street Ottawa, Ontario K2P 0C7 613-233-5969 27 June 2010 Blue fog awash in everything tears the rainbow into shreds and makes us a common host for humanity where judgment does not exist there is equity for all that said... not London fog...cloying...vampirish (a bow to Patricia K. McCarthy - Small Press Book Fair 2010 June 26 - Purcell Community Centre) But still all abandoning a friend... not a london fog says I not Cuxhaven either went with lorry and my father couldn't see the oily water or the ships felt out way around in the hollow darkness vampire night tap tap tap echo hollow echo solid each sound meant. something. but not never Cuxhaven fog. a whisper of it maybe. like today I AM a solid poet placed well in the damage of things others have done. i will not repair. i have no dexterity with tools. let history decide what broken shards are worthy of respect. a whisper of it Cuxhaven. 28 June 10 a most demented Monday hot humid pestered to a wall nothing to write even the cats wdnt chase a fly don't blame them big bugger it was too wonder where it hid as long as it's not like last year a wasp i took an hour to get out to capture alive if it stung me it for me bye 1030 wine and old horror movies dull but settling i guess emails to howard hammond at work and heather ferguson should have breakfast at dunns sunday if the drink and humidity give this clown a break still incensed at rob mclennan and the organizers at the ottawa small press book fair for leaving sean miller stranded in his wheel chair unattended downstairs at the purcell community centre i would have at least brought his display table down to the lobby that wd have been the easiest thing but rob wdnt even talk to me he was too obsessed with his own "triumph" they will fall all of them charles quarles charles quarles the name will choke each minor poet one by one in their great momentary fame i'm glad poets submit to ygdrasil egos' pedestals somehow topple in the mire no editor should bother with but that's just me if others disagree let them disagree society is free so they say but cuxhaven fog was way thicker than morning fog yesterday you arm could disappear and it did when a child i held it out tickled it did like someone brushing up against it is london fog like that must be more oppressive ottawa fog is mild a curtain opaque colours fade nothing really disappears all still there hovering in no man's land i like decisive fog over the bog and a thin path between the quicksand and mortality survival means more when your next step is oblivion they used this place to launch V8's at London's Heart London survives So did V8 As to men on the moon? Allen Sheppard shot a mean golf ball. one small step for a man one giant leap for tiger wood's demise drink and tiredness is drowning me i am surrounded by cats i should go to bed but i am not tired in a want to sleep way if i cd find a want to dream way i wd hit the sack but nowhere near that still a bottle of wine to drink can't waste a grape "god" gave us wine and she's divine * fool if you think it's over 1 july 2010 Canada Day (NOT celebrated in Quebec Hard night slept 7/11 up bad back codeine kittens destroying a paper bag 12:32am the bounty hunter dog on tv snow in Hawaii tee-shirts visited work yesterday constitution 305 rideau street well received? they let me in escorted not after i was in felt no different looked no different vin has my old cubicle x cubicle wife judy has a barbecue new mostly working at ibm howard's office still the same in fact everything still the same ! just no staff relocated - feel like a wrecking ball HIT ME -- (Isobel claims her place on my desk (she's so tiny i worry about her Bruno scratching too much Jasmine flourishing ) one of the section of this poem will be written in SQL (my nod at MIS and what I did "professionally" for 30 years ) glass of stale Le Clos Blanc De Vougeot 2006 needed a GOOD white burgundy with vintages across the street splurged the LCBO at the world exchange centre has such mediocre tastes ) headache developing advil soon when the t3 kicks in probably back to sleep ) jasmine hanging from the bench next to my desk tinnitus usually sign bp's up not bp as in oil but bp human level stress related don't know what the fuck i'm doing anyway drinking so much at 61 doctor says 2 glasses day no more mother in my head still there let him drink we all need something (jasmine's destroying a telephone extension cord isobel is eying a piece of foil don't know where bruno is probably glad to be away from the kittens for a while ) cold in here cold day not complaining hot humid steam bath WILL be back by Frida's day 12:56am waves of tiredness sweep across my harmony where there is a solution at the moment I have none 1:03am maybe if i eat something tv in the study tv in the living room munching on some french fries not really hungry howard said have a good long weekend but then every day's a long weekend for you sure i wanted to replay when that becomes true i'll check myself into a senior citizen's home too much to so to write to read to still learn after all these years what's the use of coming home without the journey? back's better numb fall asleep walking but cannot sleep Exiles Windows to each separation The heather collides with the sun The horizons form prayers of sunset While lovers return to the one Who taught them like waves on the ocean To rise and to fall with a sigh I pity these exiles in limbo Who've written but got no rely She came like the spring to the meadow A bouquet of dew on the vine A scent of perfection that lingered Far longer than this poet's rhyme So you who have thought of conception Must rip away mask upon mask I pity these lovers in exile Who can never be up to the task If no man can be just an island Each line that we suffer is real As loneliness mounts each solution We're frightened of what is revealed I have no complete revelation Of what should be done in this case These lovers just exile each other And suffer for what's no disgrace I can't comprehend so much beauty Revealed to a common design I pray to each god in high heaven To let me in her shade recline But gods have a habit ignoring What mortals desire out of life So leave all these lovers - their exile Refuses to conquer their strife So if you must close all these windows Do so only for a very brief time Replenish the spend dissolution That has in your heart been confined Then open to radiant sunshine The world is not all made of stone With joy in your heart and forgiveness Let these exiles return to their homes. C - Dm G7 - C C - Dm G7 - C Am - Em F6 - c Am - Em F6 - G7 - C (5/06/86) comments on my beard you look like a bum i don't work just write read and learn * Canada Day Queen Elizabeth II here also jets rehearsing saturday in formation low across my balcony too late for a photo op maybe today * dreamt of a beautiful woman with five kittens who wanted to live with me i sd no. she asked why i sd no. * 1:36am Chateau Soudeiraut 2006 Sauturnes half bottle subdued honey dry heavy robe (jasmine grooming isobelle sweet sisters 5 months old today ) cascades down glass yellow mead amber liquid of the gods odin rises into earth ygdrasl tree of light each blossom a star bursting * 201am moon behind broken clouds venus glowing wet pavement one car in the church parking lot * 2:50am balcony crowd of people noisily walking toward bank street bearded bald guy who used to work for me in 85 with grocery bags going home to building across street two girls jogging down o'connor street too chilly to stay out bruno resting on nichole's sweater on the chair in the bedroom kittens shifting changing positions 3am time to go back to bed * 10:57am 1099 Pope Urban Crusades 200 years Order of Sion still not allowed to dig where the templars dug Absolute Power 1307 did it really spell the end? do we really know the truth of anything? is light time? is time light? what will be the lineage of our last KING? what created what? <-> 0 <+> where the beginning ends the end is the beginning ( bruno is eating that is good the kittens are eating also good now all asleep very good is life one great nap to dream? contentedly? ) Leonardo and keats the blast wind of opposites beauty truth or lies as picasso clips our horizons or ugliness truth a thing of ugliness might better serve than false beauty cosmeticized what horizons (infamy) do we see that are not cast in our own? we wince we ignore we hide what we cannot see's not there so we see but do not smell the news do not smell the piss the shit the consequence of our failors it's there but not part of us not our world not something we have made almost a reminder of primeval darkness 100,000 years ago before sex was shrouded behind walls we still revel in savagery the forum the daily news 15 minutes of what we cannot smell the desiccating blood bloated bodies death not a part of us . G8 . don't have to discuss disbenefit to us . starburst one solar fare disruptive now space junk and the like will one day end it all glory be to god the most high of the low shadow in the church sang real did the spear of longius really touch the side of JESUS or JAMES or even JUDAS from ( a traitor cannot be a traitor being asked to be a traitor to a cause ) herod washing hands washed the lineage from his future wanted no part of it palm-path into Jeruselem i am the one follow me 12:11pm ottawa cannon salute the queen arrives gioconda devoid of eyebrows and eyelashes standing on her head does picasso know? 12:15 f18's in formation heading north apollinaire? saved by a matchbox cocteau? the world is not hollow and we have so much to learn dirt into manure manure into monna lisa's smile (simile?) he painted her for 5 years does he paint himself? no one sits that long. while 8 million women at the stake burned in a europe of enlightenment africa aids poverty and how much money spent on war and collected charities ignored no one gives thought the europeans themselves destroyed africa and made something worse in the middle east or perhaps created peace by focusing war i focus on this today because the queen arrives on wings in CANADA ruled once by the Sinclairs did Leonardo ever fly do we? 2 July 2010 and what kind of flight was it? mind over matter a camera obscura did someone really jump off a bridge (which bridge?) )where wd modigliani's heads be?( livarno there but florence...maybe off a cliff if... over purple vineyards flew glided like an eagle tale in mouth of suckling babe we make allowance freud was not around jung wd make a myth and freud created masturbation as the catholic church has robes heavy robes... * i am of the opinion if i am allowed an opinion that history is someone's bread an butter as is everything past a village explainer "I Have Studied All The Facts" i wd challenge unless you have lived the fact you are no wiser than conjecture and those who dust the books and slowly white gloved turn the fragile pages wear masks to not breath contamination on the page are the dull who dig but don't interpret the rest jump leap and bound like preachers who select verses for their purpose it's science game and it's a religious game played ad neauseum stench so prevelant only money prizes mask the ODOUR...STENCH...truth so back to the news what do we really experience by those who tell us what we should know --- we are a sanitized lot when a foul wind blows our way insurance covers all babel falls the stock market is created ( this game is putting me to sleep! ghana 1 uruguay 1 ) * unexpected visit ch going back to rehab 6pm can't visit daughter spent bus money * there is a crack in everything where the poison seeps in * 3 July 2010 how to begin a dream... parents. my parents shipped me off to argentina because i wrote a paper that some ruins discovered we more ancient that christ they shipped me off even though i was writing a poem and a suitcase with only a few items jeans tee shits and no shaving cream when i arrived i was greeted cordially shown the ruins and said what i believed was true they arrested me for blasphemy a lawyer in a wheelchair got me out sd i wd have to mail some cds to my parents with the proof but that wd be monitored and wd go to jail for life a cell so small i wdnt be able to lie down i mailed them anyway and went home the next morning a letter came saying movements would from now on be restricted then i woke... what has this to do with this? it channels into other dreams other lives other dimensions other realities and this reality the cards are on the table. * no one was ever a poet needing the world * Deutschland Espania Nederland's Uruguay what plays itself out is where we have been solid lame foundation there can be no victory where the heel has never been dug deep D3 E0 N0 U2 history partakes a msg this might NOT be the result pride of stats over half a century ago two teams won but not the players so does pride in past accomplishments raise expectations? perhaps but one wd think poker always has a wild card so does any game david and goliath st george and the dragon jesus and the desert hallucination the vision sweet oasis dates in the desert lip of silence where water trickles it's release into a dark well solvent into the salty jordan plunge you do not drink the water you purify it purify the soul the meaning of the soul whether it has wings or not white? how in anyway is white pure when it contains everything even dreck dirt manure risen phoenix blue sky see you later in the scheme of things m le pomme a pile of shit is such a "promise land" * 4 July 2010 bombs bursting air hendrix's red tussle monday morning when the trash was collected eyes in mud did we really see it coming? jack's in Saugerties "works too much" heather tells me on the phone where we cancel breakfast her mother's ill better an hour later projected 10 days heat in the 40's with humidity cats clamor to find a shady spot the fans and twirling air don't interest them 3 hours max intensity NW sun shifts and shadow breezes nudge the window screens shouldn't be drinking this much wine but the poison shifts the punch and desperate abilities roll the tongue ( we hold no borders here ) drive the means into the match words i sprout you cannot touch (I should delete that) + shadows on the golf course over everything not here * how do we get from where we haven't been to where we are ? 29c 1027pm kittens playing as always even in this heat... * 5 july 2010 Hi Klaus, How are you doing? Heather. * fair. good air flow through windows. haze obscures the sunlight. in about half an hour this side of the building will be in shade and cooling off. the cats are feeling the heat more than yesterday. all asleep now till 4 - feeding time - not that they eat much in this oppressive inferno of a forge. haven't worked on the poem today. well maybe will a bit later. bought a third litter box this morning and put it in the bathroom. only Isobel has discovered it so far. hope that will alleviate the congestion. Hope things are well with you. Apparently NY, NY is sweltering, how's Jack? * when i was young this was paradise to me i remember elgin street whylie-anne distressed at queen street cdn't breath but she was better when we got her into some shade on sparks and into honey dew restaurant we all hung out there shared chips and gravy cdn't afford much else 6 July 2010 the cats are heavy with the burden of humidity youth 1971 bought a fur coat for a DOLLAR on the mall hottest day end of august wore it wendy wanted it wendy pollux gave it to her somehow lost it between there and the central exhibition at landsdown park went to a johnny cash concert Perkins played blue suade shoes you cd see his wig move wendy laughed cash's wife was so animated made all of us think it was a comedy her voice so much lauder than his didn't at all sing well together we left before the show was over lighthouse next bluesfest 30 years later the bald guy still played piano i kissed her there she bit my tongue don't remember the rest of the night just her red hair in my mouth vanishing * i am chilling/refreshing my wine i should not be drinking a "hot day of dehydration and drinking" hms 9:34 pm cats all stretched out jasmine under the table in the dining room Bruno in the hallway near the fan isobel in the bedroom darkness 3 more days before this goes away ( don't believe it just a lull in dust storm desert no oasis here can't even keep their water cold! ) * stark humidity brunel's eye cut who was she? dali's mistress? chien adule drink the vampire blood of chilly fog sirens shrill the night this is the future of past fragments David Ball ... and you are right also. I should be out taking more photos for future reference. Yesterday at 20:12 referring to one of my photographs posted on facebook and i don't know why i have a new 12 megapixil camera when i continue to find the old 5.5 megapixil more useful * There is too much good wine here. I WILL suffer this tomorrow 10pm 6 July 2010 * 7 July 2010 5 days heat good night sleep no sun enters pound era word by word phrase by delicious phrase 127pm sun ssw one more hour germany / spain and the sun out of reach i can swing the curtains open and let what dissipating breeze there is enter . * we hope for the fullest bountiful baskets of fruition when we ask we give return the bounty have been given have received red wine for the sacrifice clear wine for the offering pit earthen vessel dig the underworld deep dante walked a frozen path through hell mrs pound was in all moods generous picasso waved a gun jarry rode a bicycle through a fictional paris while james descended on washington fully armed ezra at his 70 side at 26 we accept the continuity iron as it was verb and noun tightly interwounded magnificently early in the shape of things political Obama spill oil Jasmine chasing flies sd one term president when a nobel presented "potential" rather than "achievement" do not kill me when I die * with the cats on the balcony bruno was alright half his tail in the water over flowing from the plants jasmine got too adventurous near the edge (10 floors up) so i took her back in isobel was alright lapped the water nuzzled bruno but took her in as well stayed out a while dampness through my shirt waited bruno walked back in * for Seymour Mayne weather a volcano melt molten lava on balcony no breeze blowing cats... lotsa water 834pm * for rm too hot in your usual spot at second cup hope you keep cool anonymous * btw Netherlands / spain final sunday old teams out new teams in long time coming * weather report Ottawa / Ontario Ca nada 835pm 33c 44 humidity 111 f 35c thermostat inside * young i never minded the heat old, i ruminate the consequence * old musty book stores along a bank street no longer there but that is in another section of this poem * Fini CANTO I * * INTERMISSION But not we forget Yoric master skull Ham - Let we forget Roast beef in the monster mash Sweaty bodies culled together thus Who should be amused Macbeth's muse Smut where innocence abates (desperate couples sweeten rape?) a mistake no one needs to be afraid (the hospital is always there) dark paths always be aware Yoric smiles smirks growls The city in its underwear We do not want who is not there (noble families deserve repair?) Justice slinks a swollen tongue down the bathroom bowl emerges where? here. We begin again. a little smut. a tv screen. the internet. glory be to god and queen. we seem to somehow think invincible. sword of Damocles. blood dripping from the cross. gather: not jesus but the cross. no common loss. all is in the grail. all expansive monumental moment who do we exhibit? what's the functional SYMBOL here? smiling lady? he won't part with it. her. as i won't part with the blue madonna. rational? always yes. we cherish memories. like dreams. photographs. fleeting dreams. dissolving in a garbage dump. why we need to publish. tell others. tell others we are there. * * Fini A Night With Yoric I_1 3619