Beyond Intensity

by

Klaus J. Gerken

(1978)


There's the way
and there isn't
and if it isn't
there might be
another way
that's the way it is
totally confused
but totally
acceptable
because it is
the only way
to understanding
what it is

5 January 1978 - I

*

Quite they would accept
if anything were left
but for now they're so inept
to refuse while not bereft.

5 Jan 78 - II

*

It's cold in here
cuts through like a spear
it
s a dare
that's what it is
for hope to duel with fear.

5 Jan 78 - III

*

I've done twenty sketches
but the painting hasn't at all come out
I don't see the eyes
of the model I've had
It's not *her* eyes
that bother me
but the way they came out
on the canvas
I've done them like they were
but that's not how they are
It's puzzling
the rest of the painting's perfect
the face
the body
hair
the whole countenance
everything exept the eyes
It's strange because the sketches
came out beautifully
nothing's the matter there
I keep telling myself
that it's something I've caught
that was hidden there
something sinisdyer beyond
but no matter how hard I try
to convince myself
I'm still first a craftsman
I want to get it right
No portrait I've ever done
came out this way before
I've talked to a friend of mine
another painter
who has used her as a model
too - but he's not had the
problem - the portrait that he did
has the eyes she has
I've looked at it often
(It's a fine portrait)
and I'm certain (as he tells me)
the eyes are not hard
to get done right - in fact
when I drew them there was
nothing spectacular - eyes
like any eyes - eyes that are
in fact quite dull
eyes that in every way
seem to fit her character
her personality
yet I've painted them differently
my eyes
not hers...

5 January 1978 - IV

*

with eyes to see through walls
the lovers exploration
windows locked to sky
stars in declaration
love that seems forsaken
mark the situation
quite the affirmation
love's own empty situation

5 January 78 - V

*

Dreams

Dreams like real life.

5 Jan 78 - VI

*

Looking at some of these old photographs
of Paris - Rue Ravignan
in Montmarte where Picasso
Modigliani, Kisling
Soutine and all the other
artists lived in the
early years of their explorations:

It's the atmosphere that
seems so different
but it's really the photographs
the old and faded photographs
their gray depressed uncertainty
of what there was
that makes us want to be there
when we are.

5 Jan 78 -- VII

*

Metamorphosis

The bright light first
Don't be afraid of it
The bright light first.

5 Jan 78 - VIII

*

Now here
now there
now not anywhere
intangible
what is tangible
the past
present future
what is anything
if there were nothing
what would that be
what would anything be
if it were not
that which it was
for anything to exist
it must first exist
even the illusion
must be produced
but what
produces is
what is there before
what after
what now?

5 Jan 78 - IX

*

No one is more alone
than the artist
he is the one
who kas to deal]with himself
he is the one
who has to strip himself
not only in public
as many others do
but he has to
strip himself
before himself
he has to come to grips
with himself
before all others]he is the only judge
and he has to
impose
the most sever 
sentance
upon himself
the truth...

5 January 1978 -- X

*

he stands on his head
he sings at the top of his voice
he looks into the distance
and understands how far it is
between himself and himself
that makes him get back on his feet
keep silent
and close his eyes
if he isn't satisfied he tells himself
then maybe
just maybe he should find the truth
the silent sages
once had spoken
in a lie

5 January 1978 -- XI

*

she was very beautiful
but thought she was ugly
one day she encountered another woman
who thought she was beautiful
but in truth was really ugly
they both wished to be the other
now they both have what they want
and both are still unsatisfied.

5 Jan 78 -- xii

*

there was a hermit
lived for twenty years
atop a mountain
when he finally came down
someone asked him
what profound truths
he had come to learn

"it's cold up there"
he said and bought himself
a blanket before
going up again.

5 Jan 78 - xiii

*

someone asked him
if he still could recall
the first poem
he ever wrote

yes he proudly answered
and went on
to recite
each and every line

isn't that strange
the other man said
that was the second one
i wrote

5 January 1978 -- XIV

*

THE ART OF CONVERSATION

isn't it strange
that one is never
lost for words
when one has
nothing to say.

5 Jan 78 -- XV

*

sometimes one
and then the other
sometimes both
and then it's neither
what it is is really either
none the same
but both together
quite to compliment
each other
such the universe
in unison
creates reality
inigmas truism.

6 January 1978 -- I

*

I screamed
and no one heard
I was glad
at least they couldn't
criticize
if there is a point
to anything
it's this...

8 January 1978 - I

*