Synapse BBS - Gatineau Node 5 05-20-92 00:54 Name: KLAUS GERKEN Scanning R-Poetry (755) Conference Date: 04-18-92 (16:53) Number: 508 of 541 (Echo) To: ALL Refer#: 51799 From: KLAUS GERKEN Read: (N/A) Subj: THE STUDIO (1 0F 21) Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE Conf: R-POETRY (755) Read Type: GENERAL (+) I Rats In this studio when one talks about rats one means rats In the cupboard In the closet Rats Although we can't see them they're there Who says so? Don't you hear them gnawing? Day and night gnawing on the woodwork On the canvasses I try not to think about it but my canvasses are being eaten alive! In that portrait over there The one of the beautiful young woman Yes, that one, see? There are holes where once there were her eyes. I used to know her once And a long time after I had painted her I could swear that she was looking at me observing every move I made with those deep and dark and delvic eyes But now it's turned a different hue she can't see me anymore I can finally get back to work I guess the rats aren't all that bad They've done this good to me One day when I sell this canvas I will tell the world about it I will tell them of the eyes and how the haunted me and kept me from my work... I will tell the how the rats... I will tell them everything and how easy it it's become to rid myself of memories... Copyright (c) Klaus J. Gerken 1976 from "The Studio" * JABBER v1.1 * <<<>>> Date: 04-18-92 (17:03) Number: 509 of 541 (Echo) To: ALL Refer#: 40223 From: KLAUS GERKEN Read: (N/A) Subj: THE STUDIO (2 OF 21) Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE Conf: R-POETRY (755) Read Type: GENERAL (+) II It is raining Water leaking through the cracks Hold still! I tell the model But the model just complains There's a leak, she says There's water splashing on my thigh! Be quiet, I say Have patience, I am almost done But it's wet! Oh very well, Move back on the bed And as she does I find there's room for me Doesn't the leak bother you? she asks Not a bit, I say and gently kiss her snow white breast It's an artist's lot to suffer for his art. Copyright (c) 1976 Klaus J. Gerken from "The Studio" * JABBER v1.1 * <<<>>> Date: 04-18-92 (17:08) Number: 510 of 541 (Echo) To: ALL Refer#: 57683 From: KLAUS GERKEN Read: (N/A) Subj: THE STUDIO (3 OF 21) Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE Conf: R-POETRY (755) Read Type: GENERAL (+) III No bread on the table Some wine but that's all - I'm working on my painting called "A Separate Reality" It's a portrait of a man silhouetted on a street It is raining and he's wet The collar of his coat turned up and wound around his neck There's hunger in his eyes This man is either someone else or I There's no between He looks at me and I at him I'd like to meet this man We have a lot in common. Copyright (c) 1976 Klaus J. Gerken from "The Studio" * JABBER v1.1 * <<<>>> Date: 04-18-92 (17:13) Number: 511 of 541 (Echo) To: ALL Refer#: 56423 From: KLAUS GERKEN Read: (N/A) Subj: THE STUDIO (4 OF 21) Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE Conf: R-POETRY (755) Read Type: GENERAL (+) IV Damn it! Outside on the Rou Tourlaque where Picasso used to walk the few who walk there now are simple imitations of the artists that were real But then, who cares? Why should I? As long as i keep working knowing what I do is what I want it keeps me satisfied (if not well fed) Well, shit... those faceless multitudes what do they know about art? If I were a poet I would write like Cendars wrote, a poem no one else could comprehend. Then where would they be? Then what would they say? Why, wait until he's dead, of course! Then we'll publish him for free! Now, where have I heard that before? Copyright (c) Klaus J. Gerken 1976 from "The Studio" * JABBER v1.1 * <<<>>> Date: 04-18-92 (17:18) Number: 512 of 541 (Echo) To: ALL Refer#: 49912 From: KLAUS GERKEN Read: (N/A) Subj: THE STUDIO (5 OF 21) Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE Conf: R-POETRY (755) Read Type: GENERAL (+) V In this studio I paint Scraping with a pallet knife paint from the canvas of a painting that is old so that I might have another line shroud to cover with a newer image then what I did yesterday In this studio I paint always something new always on one canvas no one understands. Copyright (c) 1976 Klaus J. Gerken from "The Studio" * JABBER v1.1 * <<<>>> Date: 04-18-92 (17:22) Number: 513 of 541 (Echo) To: ALL Refer#: 17317 From: KLAUS GERKEN Read: (N/A) Subj: THE STUDIO (6 OF 21) Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE Conf: R-POETRY (755) Read Type: GENERAL (+) VI I have never been the one to worry much what others think or even how they think when I'm the one who does the work I satisfy myself and that's the most important thing not to bow to those who don't know anything That's why I would rather work than theorize There's nothing that I will explain I don't have to think for anyone If they have to ask what a certain painting means then they're not looking at the painting anyhow they're not worth to talk about Let me talk of something else... Copyright (c) 1976 Klaus J. Gerken from "The Studio" * JABBER v1.1 * <<<>>> Date: 04-18-92 (17:28) Number: 514 of 541 (Echo) To: ALL Refer#: 6809 From: KLAUS GERKEN Read: (N/A) Subj: THE STUDIO (7 OF 21) Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE Conf: R-POETRY (755) Read Type: GENERAL (+) VII The spiral of the canvas here thick with hues envelop me No more needs one ever think This and I are separate This the image of the mind the dark internal forces here at work Look, in this ye find whate'er it is thou needs to find The colours here are heavy but yet soft fleeting feeling held aloft Don't ye find the same sensations When in bed and making love? Copyright (c) 1976 Klaus J. Gerken from "The Studio" * JABBER v1.1 * <<<>>> Date: 04-18-92 (17:32) Number: 515 of 541 (Echo) To: ALL Refer#: 54487 From: KLAUS GERKEN Read: (N/A) Subj: THE STUDIO (8 OF 21) Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE Conf: R-POETRY (755) Read Type: GENERAL (+) VIII To turn the canvas into words what might that entail? how does one define a symphony in these restricted terms? how does one then give a verbal meaning to a painting that encompasses by itself infinitudes of meaning in the layers of its paint as diverse as there are people on this world or even beings in the universe? Unless a painting tells a story or represents a certain thought a painting cannot be explained simple like a state of mind cannot be readily explained by a common decadence of words We seem to be programmed to think that the image which the eye can see is the only true dimension that there is This of course is delineated nonsense Our salient senses are restricted only be the language of society So an abstract painting, like an abstract thought must presume a furtherance a transcendental frame of mind that words cannot confess like the positive explained by negatives reverses positive to negative and cancels all thing out I do think explaining can do any good I just fill the empty canvas and get on with things... ***** (This poem goes on forever, let me spare the reader further grievance and cut it off right here...I think you get the drift...K.J.G.) Copyright (c) 1976 Klaus J. Gerken from (The Studio) * JABBER v1.1 * Look its a babble fish: ><> רתש<>< ><>תר <<<>>> Date: 04-18-92 (17:54) Number: 516 of 541 (Echo) To: ALL Refer#: 55608 From: KLAUS GERKEN Read: (N/A) Subj: THE STUDIO (9 OF 21) Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE Conf: R-POETRY (755) Read Type: GENERAL (+) IX An artist cannot help but relate everything he sees or does to his art. He is constantly involved in the process that evolves the cycle of his thought - Life and art cannot be separated They are one One nurtures the other Thus even the artist find himself a tool - What he does is what is needed by the soul - Once the seed is sown it sprouts An artist thus is bound becoming flooded by his art - until the art itself becomes the artist and the artist finds himself an act of art and art itself its own creation. Copyright (c) 1976 Klaus J. Gerken from "The Studio" * JABBER v1.1 * <<<>>> Date: 04-18-92 (17:58) Number: 517 of 541 (Echo) To: ALL Refer#: 49151 From: KLAUS GERKEN Read: (N/A) Subj: THE STUDIO (10 OF 21) Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE Conf: R-POETRY (755) Read Type: GENERAL (+) X A swirling mass of pigment like a cave upon the canvas screwing deep into the distance of the darkest corners of the mind "He who enters here..." Copyright (c) 1976 Klaus J. Gerken From "The Studio" * JABBER v1.1 * <<<>>> Date: 04-18-92 (18:01) Number: 518 of 541 (Echo) To: ALL Refer#: 11684 From: KLAUS GERKEN Read: (N/A) Subj: THE STUDIO (11 OF 21) Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE Conf: R-POETRY (755) Read Type: GENERAL (+) XI Art is infinite Like the universe We cannot comprehend. Copyright (c) Klaus J. Gerken 1976 from "The Studio" * JABBER v1.1 * <<<>>> Date: 04-18-92 (18:02) Number: 519 of 541 (Echo) To: ALL Refer#: 24879 From: KLAUS GERKEN Read: (N/A) Subj: THE STUDIO (12 OF 21) Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE Conf: R-POETRY (755) Read Type: GENERAL (+) XII I am not saying that i understand everything If I did it would be a lie I simply form whatever knowledge I possess Into a different form that carries on that thought Into another thought - becoming thus A progression of thoughts - each one Higher than the other with more questions asked. Copyright (c) 1976 Klaus J. Gerken from "The Studio" * JABBER v1.1 * <<<>>> Date: 04-18-92 (18:05) Number: 520 of 541 (Echo) To: ALL Refer#: 13912 From: KLAUS GERKEN Read: (N/A) Subj: THE STUDIO (13 OF 21) Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE Conf: R-POETRY (755) Read Type: GENERAL (+) XIII Come on in, sit down throw those sketches on the floor, they're not worth anything. I did them this morning, but the girl I got to pose for me wasn't a model, too shy, and then she moved around too much. Want some whiskey? - Scotch? Its over there: just move the canvasses away. I hope you don't mind, it's not the most expensive stuff. Yes, I know. The place is not too clean. But I've been so engrossed in my work these days that I really can't be bothered to clean up - (the ice is in the fridge - hope it hasn't melted all, the damned thing is so old) - But enough of this, you've come to look at my paintings. Yes, the one's for sale are over there. If you want frames you'll have to provide them for yourself. For myself I don't think that frames are all that necessary - a painting's a painting right? - it doesn't need fake ornaments. You disagree? To each his own...That one? Yes, - Lets say fifty. Alright then, forty. But don't expect me to wrap it up for you. The only reason that I'm selling it is because I've got to pay the rent. How about some sketches? I can let you have them...a franc apiece. Well, suit yourself...but I'm going to raise my prices in a week or so. Alright then, if you want some more you can find me here... Oh by the way... watch out for the third step from the bottom when you leave. It's kinda loose. Wouldn't want you to fall and break your high class collar... Copyright (c) 1976 Klaus J. Gerken from "The Studio" * JABBER v1.1 * <<<>>> Date: 04-18-92 (18:23) Number: 521 of 541 (Echo) To: ALL Refer#: 25444 From: KLAUS GERKEN Read: (N/A) Subj: THE STUDIO (14 OF 21) Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE Conf: R-POETRY (755) Read Type: GENERAL (+) XIV Drinking my whiskey (the only luxury) I stare into the space between myself and the wall I can almost see the atoms moving like another universe I would like to describe all that I now feel in words or images so that others might experience the certain qualities of this singular unique experience Yet whenever I try I find that I can get no further than the empty canvas fresh before my eyes - or even if I paint the canvas black there is always something further that I lack... White is something, black another colour... another shade of white - (The hell with what we're thought at school about black being no colour - black is a colour as long as we have to create it - pure blackness, that's no colour that I'll grant but how can we create it where is the pigment for it? Pure black is when we close our eyes and try to see the mind - It is something we can't comprehend - Infinity itself.) So here I am, an artist who cannot create the final total vision in his mind - that vision that he cannot comprehend himself, yet knows is there - that vision of a something that drives him on to search his art for what the final truth might have to offer - the final truth of the expression - the one complete and perfect vision he requires to express to be complete. Everything else is simply fragments of the quest... and somewhere out there someone calls them "Art". Only the artist knows the truth of what his art should be. That for which he searches all his life - that which will finally become too much for him and bring him down - which has haunted him all his life - others cannot see it - they see only the discarded fragments of the artist's total art - the artist laughs at this - he understands the joke - the joke is that whatever he creates is only a first and halting step a baby learn to walk...only a step towards the vision that he can't create because the truth is bigger than the art... the vision of the truth of life itself - the truth of all creation - the beginning and the end - the universe and all infinity - the final total search for self. Copyright (c) 1976 Klaus J. Gerken from "The Studio" * JABBER v1.1 * <<<>>> Date: 04-18-92 (18:42) Number: 522 of 541 (Echo) To: ALL Refer#: 65330 From: KLAUS GERKEN Read: (N/A) Subj: THE STUDIO ( 15 OF 21) Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE Conf: R-POETRY (755) Read Type: GENERAL (+) XV There always seem to be too may days that don't mean anything too many days one is absent searching images that seem to stain the walls when one stares at them too long Yesterday I went downtown The first time in, I guess two weeks that I got anywhere outside myself - It's strange the way the city seems to stay the same even though the buildings change from month to month It kills with it's indifference - I spoke to several friends but never seemed to be as near as in the conversation - I just shook my head and walked away - I went back home - drank some wine read a book on Vineland sagas treated some old drawings that began to fade with fixative and did little else... What should I have done? I didn't want to talk to anyone I wanted just to be alone - alone in my despair...perhaps... but then despair is just a state of mind - It's like any other mood... And experience that, if treated right, can be very worth the while - And today? Today I'm simply numb... numb to all sensations It's a cold damp day - Frost nips everything. Copyright (c) 1976 Klaus J. Gerken from "The Studio" * JABBER v1.1 * <<<>>> Date: 04-18-92 (18:55) Number: 523 of 541 (Echo) To: ALL Refer#: 17050 From: KLAUS GERKEN Read: (N/A) Subj: THE STUDIO (16 OF 21) Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE Conf: R-POETRY (755) Read Type: GENERAL (+) XVI I have destroyed a painting with another - I have painted over it. It was simple... Creation from creation Life from death... Nobody will know. Copyright (c) 1976 Klaus J. Gerken from "The Studio" * JABBER v1.1 * <<<>>> Date: 04-18-92 (18:57) Number: 524 of 541 (Echo) To: ALL Refer#: 53084 From: KLAUS GERKEN Read: (N/A) Subj: THE STUDIO (17 OF 21) Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE Conf: R-POETRY (755) Read Type: GENERAL (+) XVII See this painting? It's one of the best I've ever done - Of course you may not Think so, but That is your prerogatives. I don't really care. In it I express Everything that was Within my mind At the time I painted it. That's the most Important thing. If I would paint What others want I would never be able To paint What's in my soul. I might be able To disguise My feeling, I Suppose, but what would That accomplish? I'd just be fooling Others, and I'd fool myself Believing others Can be fooled. I would rather Focus on the truth Than be successful In an artificial way. That is why This painting is the best I've ever done: It tells the truth It doesn't compromise It's true to me And what my vision Of the vision is... Others might not be able To tune into that... Too bad for them... In any event It's not for sale. An artist Keeps his best work Private. Copyright (c) 1976 Klaus J. Gerken from "The Studio" * JABBER v1.1 * <<<>>> Date: 04-18-92 (19:08) Number: 525 of 541 (Echo) To: ALL Refer#: 41686 From: KLAUS GERKEN Read: (N/A) Subj: THE STUDIO (18 OF 21) Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE Conf: R-POETRY (755) Read Type: GENERAL (+) XVIII It's snowing Everything is white I stand here by the window feeling strangely sad Not sad at the passing of another summer For I don't enjoy summers all that much (I enjoy the brightness of the light - there is another kind of brightness now. I enjoy that even more.) but a sadness of a different time (how hard for me! I must explain...) a time long before the time where I have come to be alive... It's like when I look back at those Breugel painting with the village covered deep in snow... the close knit village the community the companionship the togetherness that people had to feel because without it they could not survive - I feel that all of this is lost now in these mechanical and segregated times... one is able only just to catch a glimpse of it - perhaps it's just the older that I get, the more the isolation of an artist's heart wishes part of that he didn't need before... I don't know I know I'm here trying to explain a feeling not a thought something I find difficult to understand... Maybe I should call some friends... Put some music on... Drink some Bordeaux wine... Maybe I should paint some more (God it's cold in here!) Copyright (c) 1976 Klaus J. Gerken from "The Studio" * JABBER v1.1 * <<<>>> Date: 04-18-92 (19:21) Number: 526 of 541 (Echo) To: ALL Refer#: 62460 From: KLAUS GERKEN Read: (N/A) Subj: THE STUDIO (19 OF 21) Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE Conf: R-POETRY (755) Read Type: GENERAL (+) XIX The cold wind howls its violent abrasions against the different lives we lead and stalks us through the freezing winter night in which we plot an unsure path to stumble down and scrape from time's insanity the hollow but evolving history We never tire of mending this We only curse time's overbold simplicity. Copyright (c) 1976 Klaus J. Gerken from "The Studio" * JABBER v1.1 * <<<>>> Date: 04-18-92 (19:27) Number: 527 of 541 (Echo) To: ALL Refer#: 47900 From: KLAUS GERKEN Read: (N/A) Subj: THE STUDIO (20 OF 21) Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE Conf: R-POETRY (755) Read Type: GENERAL (+) XX Perhaps in loving her I make certain that I am alive At other times We only grope in blindness life's uncertainty. Copyright (c) 1976 Klaus J. Gerken from "The Studio" * JABBER v1.1 * I guaze out wildly - who would call me content? HSIEH LING-YUN <<<>>> Date: 04-18-92 (19:28) Number: 528 of 541 (Echo) To: ALL Refer#: 47757 From: KLAUS GERKEN Read: (N/A) Subj: THE STUDIO (21 OF 21)!!! Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE Conf: R-POETRY (755) Read Type: GENERAL (+) XXI Cold day - so what It only means I don't go out today I stay in bed Till half past noon perhaps Or do a little painting Maybe listen to the static on the radio Eat a bit (what's left?) Go back to bed Maybe if it gets a bit Too boring I'll force myself To go down to the cafe And sit there with a cognac Talking to the whores Write some letters That I should have written Long ago But then again Maybe I'll do nothing I could read a book But it's hard to find one That will keep me interested (I look out the window) So it's here - the winter Cold and lonely days I like the best (No it's not at all like La Boheme!) In summer one gets lonely because there are too many people around In winter it is different Loneliness with loneliness as the only friend is easier to take. Copyright (c) 1976 Klaus J. Gerken from "The Studio" Note: The Studio was written c 1973 - 74, while I was trying to make a living as an artist, rediscovered in a pile of mss I was destroying in 76 and kept alive. There should be more, as the sequence is incomplete...I think it cumulated in my abandoning art in 74 (probably 30 - 40 more poems, I might still have some of them, who knows)...in any event, this will be my last "nostalgia trip" for a while. Hope I haven't been too boring with this stuff. Comments are appreciated. Klaus * JABBER v1.1 * Art is the most frenzied orgy a man is capable of. <<<>>>