Words Without Harmony by Klaus J. Gerken 2005 Dying Alone ~~~~~~~~~~~ It begins with small things You forget a name Your favourite recipy And always it comes back to you A few minutes later And you pay it no attention Then one day you forget to turn off your oven And the roast burns because you went to the store For something trivial Or you forget to lock the door Leave your keys behind Or one day forget you have a daughter It is like a shadow on the sunspot in your eyes A closed window to an open soul Confusion is your only refuge Words are comforting and then you fail to understand The only language you have ever known: Love Who is there you ask and only strangers confort you And you are not old you do not wish to be comforted You wish only to live the dreams you always had And yet there is a terror in your livelyhood A honeymoon without a wedding feast A moon without a lover Demeanour without grace You have no tears: tears fail you The mind rejects any form of comfort Alone you dissipate into the shadow of your mind And there is no one to save you hold your hand No one to care for you in comfort or respect Eyes empty of images god takes you to another land 531pm 21 Sep 2005 You Hold Her Hand ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You hold her hand and she does not know you You kiss her cheek and she does not respond You walk away guilty leaving the hospital On a cold and stormy Christmass night You know there is nothing you can do to save her You rejected the doctor's prognosis She would never want to live like that you said And you meant it because she meant it The night she died you spoke to the duty nurse Does it ever get easy you asked no she answered You kissed your mother's forehead and said a little prayer And took a taxy home past trees lit by pretty shawdows Under yellow streetlamps -- had a late night doctor the cabby asked Yes a very late night you answered pretending not to care 552pm 21 Sep 2005 He Said You Are A Poet ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My father never cared for poetry although He quoted Schiller and Goethe but thought I was just living in a fantacy without talent He never even trusted me cleaning his Barber Shop We did have good times though...at Christmas New Years but never talked that much Strangers with a bond...and the day he went to hospital To die he cried upon the gurney he was lying on I told him it would be ok...cold comfort for the knowing But I brought him his favourite soap and he washed His hands daily...one day mother and I visited And I showed him one of my poems published in a magazine That no longer exists and he read it upside down You, you are a poet, he said...two days later he was gone. 620pm 21 Sep 2005 Sterile ~~~~~~~ They brought me into a small sterile room They said your mother is dying next to this They introduced themselves 3 phsychiatrists 2 Doctors and some other admistrative types They told me my mother could live 10 years longer If only I would allow the operation -- what would be The quality f her life I asked? 50% to live, but She would probably not know you and would have to be Institutionalized. No. They gasped. Do you have any Idea of what you are doing? I said yes. Looking at each other They couldn't understand the precepts of compassion. Their heads were in a medical dung heap. They want life, And life through suffering is noble. Life through suffering Is their success. My mother rests in peace. Enough. 647pm 21 Sep 2005 I Will Die Alone ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I will die alone. Hopefully at my computer Writing poetry or maybe answering some correspondence with friends I have or haven't met but acknowledge As an influence in my life. What I may have done for them I do not know. It's up to them what they take from me: I am just a shadow on this transitory hunk of earth Never quite knowing where I fit or intermingle sands Upon an unknown beach, salt waves lapping at my feet... Tired tonight I wipe my brow for the damp atmosphere Last day of summer and a good chardonney to keep me Company...and of course the news none of us can fathom It's a modern world...of course all worlds are The present is our eternity and eternity our nemisis Ever present at the moment we transgress from here to there. 706pm 21 Sep 2005 I Knew ~~~~~~ I knew my father was dead as he lay on his side In that terrible sterile hospital bed For some reason I did not want to upset my mother Next to me and ever anxious - I said he's asleep We went downstairs to the cafeteria and had some Muffins and some stale too hot coffee - my mother Spoke about a nurse who was "taken" by me and wondered If I was "available" - but I had been committed I saw the nurse out of the corner of my eye and knew She was coming to see us... I'm sorry she said, but It is time...your husband is dying...my mother ghasped We fled upstairs and all the time the nurse looked at me Knowing what I had done and somehow understanding but Really not - closed my father's eyes - "just in time". 502pm 22 Sep 2005 What we are ~~~~~~~~~~~ My mother told me to stay away from the bedroom window Don't look out into the yard she said...a saturday it was And like all little boys curious and full of life, peeked What I saw was a slaughter which to now has never left me It burns wicked in my mind...nightmare category five And there is no salvation for what we as a species are Predetors...pure and simple...no religion validates What we have been are and will continue to be...preditors The pig ran round and round sqeeling horrendously with Nowhere to escape while the landlord ran after it with a Large knife...his helpers hearded it into a corner and The landlord carved a deep insision into the pig's throat Last sqeel...last ghasp of breath and death...and in the spring Good sausage and ham for all fully cured to eat and savour. 105pm 23 Sep 2005 Presentiment ~~~~~~~~~~~~ I was a walking toddler And my grandmother gave me a mark I threw it in her face My grandmother was outraged My mother was embarrased She tried to exlaine we told him Never to respect money Respect integrity instead Well said my grandmother He may be famous but always poor. To this day I wonder how the past Affects the future...even small things Can have unknown consequences...teach Your children well the song goes..I agree. 202pm 23 Sep 2005 On the Spur of the Moment ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I needed somthing revolutional so I bought A 56 dollar bottle of 1999 Chateau D'Angludet And later went down to the mall and listened to A band play for the disenfranchised CBC workers Locked out of their jobs just because they wanted Some security to go along with the professionalism They displayed every day in their professional jobs... It's been over a month and the CBC continues without Credibility. No one should be subject to discrimination And this is blatent discrimination against a loyalty From employees who gave their expertise to make the CBC An entity...And the employer crunches numbers as human Beings are reclassified into "resources" worth nothing If they can't bring in the buck...quality is nothing... Disaster rules the CBC and any other fuckin' modern Corporate entity. 338pm 23 Sep 2005 OK give me nothing ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ we have come this far we go no farther there is a distance between us we can never bridge i have never bothered you you have never bothered me yet the smallness of our argument severs our demean three small children and we think of ourselves there's a sickness here acrimonious solution who's to blame children want an answer. 409pm 23 Sep 2005 Those who fear ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ten murdered women and no seems to care Least of all the guys we pay to protect us They simply say These crimes are hard to solve They leave us in the alley of our own resolve The searches the overtime the dedication These officers deserve a medal of bravery They are the front-line forces that break any crime Yet management fails them and I know why They are given false instructions...be tough... Management does no longer consider compassion No one is an equal no one is a human being Either scum or something worse authorities Never question those who accuse...they only spit Their vehemence against the innocent they fear. 450pm 23 Sep 2005 Who Takes Responsibility For Anything These Days? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ They came and tore my father's camera case apart They didn't have the courtecy to open the case properly They also tore open a sacred tobbaco pouch given me By a friend and left it on the floor with a rosery they tore From my green Buddha...a ring my mother gave me was missing But I won't accuse them of that...a ring left on the Buddha's hands For ten years..I can't find it anywhere..who took it you will Leave this earth under a dark shadow...I still wish you compassion Authority is a given means...not a cart blanche to desecrate and destroy...I live a quite life...work...go home..feed the cats on the weekened...maybe see a few thing on the balcony on a hot summer night I wouldn't want to see (some people don't close their curtains)...not my concern I thought...seems it's up to me to turn my head...privacy is their exhibition...becomes my crime. 511pm 23 Sep 2005 Concience ~~~~~~~~~ One girl gets murdered And I still let my friend go home unaccompanied...on a dark and stormy night (no cliche intended) A cell phone obviously didn't do much good The employer weighed his money And the dark journey home Became a black substance to a blacker death I don't know why you did this...I don't care You probably think yourself a decent someone Who did nothing wrong...an accident you meant no harm. Well if you did, you are desperately wrong. Jennifer died in your arms. You are the closest person to her. You owe her whatever humanity is left in your lost despicable soul. 532pm 23 Sep 2005 So The Poet Sings ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So the poet sings with a verbal harmony unknown To anyone without a poet's instinct...quiet to the ear Of anyone insensitive to what is going on and where In the world of politics and treachery...only a drunkard Or a child will hear...and why? The music has an innocence Above the trepitude of common understanding...no professor's Gem...Just a broken amulet screaming into silence...I for one Have nothing more to offer them...the broken many and the Healthy few...No substance taken and no purpose made..the word Is what is given and the word is what is taken in the ovens Where the millions died when money was no substance of abuse And then too late they came and liberated them...the still living And the dead were give what respect the guilty could provide... The poet sings...and when the poet is silenced...the world dies. 1208pm 24 Sep 2005 Dear Leonard ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Self indulgence is one thing Boring us to death is another I can only take Villanelle For Our Times once not twice It wasn't even a good poem To begin with...why kill it By repetition and bad music? And if Heather would ever come Near you she would probably spill Her drink all over your white belly And mangle up your legs like nothing You have ever felt or seen before... Retire Leonard...your music if not Your poetry has lost it's relevance.. 1229pm 24 Sep 2005 To one cop who refused to identify himself - you know who you are ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I will never ever dehumanize Another human being like you did Your tactics are sick like vomit Anyone who has to revile and degregate another Has to be afraid something in himself Or probably just the truth You have no right being on the police force You have no right to anything Piece of shit calling me a scumbag.,.. You can return for me whenever you want... I'll be here..I have no reason to hide... On the other hand you fucking well do... 402pm 25 Sep 2005 Cleaning Up ~~~~~~~~~~~ Spent the morning with Brian and Laura Cleaning up the cat cubicles on the Hill Took out all the old hay and stuffed in the New...Brownie was the first to give approval Good luck kept the rain away until the end And I thing we all go home fairly dry But I stayed to take some photographs Of the parade for fallen officers in the line Of duty...great heros indeed...There is no Greater sacrifice than protecting the public.. Yet there are some power tripping who Lose control and leave the purpose in the soil Where too many rest who failed to know the shallow Integration of a concience...bow...just bow. 434pm 25 Sep 2005 How Easy They Control ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The rose is in the water The water in the pool The pool is in New Orleans And the Hill's upon the fool You give me no solution I never asked for none One storm's in the water The other wrecks the scam I know they tried to help me She said when she was taken They said you have no meaning A bus will take you out How easy we are helpless How easy the control... 443pm 27 Sep 2005 Mr Cohen and Sir Jagger I have both ~~~~~~~~~~~ So the stones have a new cd the best since main street with a few great ones inbetween And Leanord Cohen writes musak Repeats broken lyrics And gravels up his voice I wish he wrote some poetry But substance has alluded him Hay is better stuff I refuse to end the broken hollow I refuse to flood your soul One day someone warned me Why be great when silence makes you cool.. with that the papers stuffed into my coat brought harmony to what rots the human soul... 524pm 25 sep 2005 See nothing where you are ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ While I have asked the questions You have given me no answers The purpose of your purpose Is lost in your solution What's fine is fine with empty And blood without a wound Shadow without sunlight And a government that moons The voice of the elected And the silence of the cause And no one ever wakes up Too soon too soon too soon 454/535pm 25 Sept 05 Big Bang ~~~~~~~~ The universe is alive And we are dead observing it. 622pm 25 Sep 2005 What you did not know ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Fall silent when you shout Anger just diminishes truth. 628pm 25 Sep 2005 Sometimes I'm afraid ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rene shadowboxes with me he's like a kid The cats mull round and keep the tourists occupied on a sweet hammock autumn day I play with Max the newest who's just inigrated Took 6 months but we got the critter where He eats with the other cats...that is our reward Knowing they keep each other's company to survive The winter...brutal it can be some days..the cats Are special...they teach us how to be human in a Ever dehumanisizing bureacratic police state Where nothing ever give the citizen a voice... Guilty guilty guilty first...what has gotten wrong In our solution to a problem we can't solve? Listen... No one listens when hate tears at their guts..they should... 640pm 25 Sep 2005 Dear Heather ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dear Heather I am sorry Leonard is such a fool I will sing you a better song Without his music or his words... But even old fools have a purpose Past experience And if I ever shave my head See to it that my barber gets a tip. 643m 25 Sep 2005 Evidence ignored ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Can't think about death every day Life's somewhere in the mix On a comet or a super nova Hard to believe it's on this rock With hard religion and disease Even worse is hatred for the same Enemy that lives upon this hollow hunk That God seems to reject as nothing more Than let them kill each other... No one seems to give a damn even after Having seen the planet from space... God after all is great..god has blinders so his followers have blinders too. 702pm 25 Sep 2005 Religion ~~~~~~~~ "Kill the lot." 706pm 25 Sep 2005 Copyright (c) 2005 Klaus J. Gerken Published by Ygdrasil Press