Wilma (Why I lost my attitude) by Klaus J. Gerken 2005 I Yoric in the wilderness hunting dust and maggots where the truth may be Tombs beneath tarantulas Scorpions and bleached bones Where the wind rots poison roots and murders what we hope will never be...but it is and that is where the truth may lie...in the glint of eye Illusion where we cannot go and yet are always there Yoric wears a shallow frown He knows and knowing is a crime Where no one wants to know Hidden alleys in sunshine 540pm 20 Oct 2005 II The monster is a knowing one He haunts us with psychiatry He haunts with our deepest fears And laughs when we refuse to lie He quickens to the expletives And demeans us where we cannot vote An explanation...that is not a given...we are garbage to their cause We are nothing in their eyes They are robots without souls Being told their only thoughts Yoric screams but cannot scream Yoric prays but cannot pray Yoric lives alone among the books And they can't stand where they can't look Yoric waits where evil lurks 552pm 20 Oct 2005 III Yoric is abandoned Yoric made the curse His voice is like a cough these days He's hollow like a burnt-out tree Termites ants and maggots make the most of him...he relished dependency but beats his brains to porridge..ash is his desire and curtains do not care to shield him...alone he waits and knows his nemesis is out there plotting He does nothing...Yoric writes his memories And floats the concrete raft of his desire Into the cosmic ocean of denial...they are there and I am empty...I mean nothing...they mean all...and when the concrete crumbles the world will be adrift and no one saved even though they think they are...no one saved...even though they think they are... no one saved...no one saved..no one saved. 601pm 20 Oct 2005 IV Wilma is a prostitute...at least the monsters say so...after 26 years a loyal wife she is so disgraced she won't go out again...the monsters had their filthy say and slashed Yoric in the groin with words so sharp he couldn't comprehend at first the verbiage was so gross and sickening he even asked "is this what they teach you?" "no" the monster said indignantly "this is my opinion" and they left refusing to identify themselves.."we'll see you get disgraced" they said and Yoric crumpled to the floor remembering the past abuse he suffered in his youth and how he shriveled up and did everything to avoid the argument...and now there was no difference Yoric 16 years in the same room and doing nothing to hurt others is now a "skumbag" and a "pervert" and "the low life on the earth"...and Yoric poet artist and philosopher writes "creepy poetry" or so the monsters say...and maybe Yoric does...he doesn't know anything anymore...even for a moment death looked good. 652pm 20 Oct 2005 V And Yoric reads the morning papers and reads The monsters pepper sprayed a two year old baby and when the mother and father tried to stop them The monsters tackled them arrested them and raided The house like tiger ants attacking a caterpillar Still alive and struggling to survive and Yoric shook with anger he knew the monsters face to face and felt their hate first hand...those who have to hate he thought have no judgment of their own...they are manipulated and exploited and are lower than the lowest because they don't think...they follow orders blindly and in blindness walk each single day...the law is their defense...something they don't have to justify... just enforce...the great enforcers they become in violence not judgment...not investigation...just brute force Yoric knows them eye to eye...a wall he cannot penetrate darker than the darkest cave swallowing bat wings and humanity...ignorance of the law is no excuse ignorance of compassion is an even greater sin. 714pm 20 Oct 2005 VI Yoric's monkey was afraid hid beneath the sheets and prayed the monsters came and robbed his dignity searching for a yellow dress in Yoric's closet and his underwear they didn't even ask him questions just said you did this and you did that you are that and you are this no one should be subject to this rot Yoric fumed but the monster screamed "Shut up or we'll take you away" and Yoric said "Yessir...yessir...yessir" Humiliated Yoric sat the monster towered over him and spit his venom in his face "this is serious" he scowled "we know all about you" you know nothing Yoric thought... all a bluff...these monsters in a huff. 739pm 20 Oct 2005 VII Danger lurks not in the corrupt Danger lurks in the conventional Yoric awoke to a drum of a dream six weeks later in a sweat and a howl that's how terror affects someone innocent of any crime...no one knows who hasn't gone through this...I hope no one judges because of that but they will... It can't be otherwise...each a reflection of one's own...my space, your space let me have my bone...and someone said survival yes it is...survival and the monsters bleed into that sensibility...conform or else... profiling...single and alone...this is what we think of you...don't care for the positive once strike negative and you're away into the great wonder..cages cement floors and nothing you can do or say will make them care... they're a set disease...honoured and corrupt fake this fake that...we haven't got a clue what life is...their lives and ours...religion gives no clue indeed obscured the fact that we human beings fallible and not in prayer be the good... 1036pm 10 Oct 2005 VIII There is rot afoot and Yoric smells it Not just in New Orleans but everywhere The law does not resolve the truth and character assassination is everywhere and no accuser needs accept the blame Nazi Germany all over and no one even sees it...blind as a...even bats are not that blind...but a slow degradation of our freedoms has become unnoticed Orwell's 1984 is well past its limit We are much beyond that circus Dark blue cops hover with their truncheons And confront the innocent as guilty Baby-blue psychiatrists they rape your mind and profile you to death - oblivious to their involvement. There is no crime until someone creates it. As to common sense wasted long ago where government's concerned. 653am 21 Oct 2005 IX Yoric lets the monkey play Someone shouts get off your balcony Wilma says ignore it Good to know that rumour's rife with such discretion Yoric's up all night Thinking that the monster's near But no monsters appear He's silent in his study wondering why no emails come when so many went before Yoric feels alone empty drinking beer at 6am with no solution left hands and fingers numb he writes this 702am 21 Oct 2005 X Yoric speaks to Faust What's the level of security in your commitment? I don't understand Faust sputters Mestopholes buts in The commitment is eternal Doesn't make it right Y says Only if God sanctioned it M grins from ear to ear 720am 21 Oct 2005 XI Yoric dances naked under a blue moon He hoots and hollers like a mad cow Rolling in the dirt of substitution He prances Jagger-like and points his finger While monsters bubble from the underground In stagnant puddles of false adulation Yoric rolls his eyes and smiles a Cheshire smile Refusing to admit his own mortality He goes on drinking like a vampire bat Yoric is invincible but crumples like a paper doll Into the alley of his own shadow And by doing nothing he does everything Yoric is a rag-doll on a rocking chair Pretending there is life out there Beyond the confines of a prison cell Self imposed and fused to an ideal. 803pm 21 Oct 2005 XII Wilma drinks her herbal tea Poisons Yoric with her smoke Both survived beyond all odds Wilma says the world's to blame Yoric verbalizes rot Neither sings reality But as the years in books roll by Yoric gets more yellow and Wilma hides beneath the sand I wasn't like that always when The castle was their play pen And they would hold parley with a whale And understand the consequence Of gathering the soul Of a carbonated universe Home might be a curse But the drug of life is everything. 825pm 21 Oct 2005 XIII Monkey's in a plastic bag Playing hide and seek Monkey's got a lot of pride Sleeps beneath the sheets And purrs just like a jack-o-lantern Infusing all with soft brillcream This Jelicle has Yoric well trained And Yoric bows to his requests He knows that Monkey had him pegged The first time Yoric saw the stray A year later he took the critter home And now they are inseparable When Monkey wants to go to bed Yoric follows...a marriage couldn't be much better. 907pm 21 Oct 2005 XIV The government's gone mad Or was it always so? Yoric doesn't know. Yoric safeguards his ideals From the monsters in the wheel Although the monsters hate his guts Yoric gets the better cut Knowing he's done nothing wrong Where they violate each single norm Truth be told there is a storm Brewing bigger than a hurricane And the damage will be monumental Not in property or personal possessions But in mind. Yoric smiles before the Buddha: Not retribution or revenge Just the end to everything. And the beginning of the new reality we'll never know. 233pm 22 Oct 2005 XV What relevance does Yoric have? A dead skull thrown away...would all of us Have Hamlet for a eulogy. Not as Easy as it sounds. The world may be a stage But the production's done below Beyond the revelation on the public. So the world may be a stage, but the staging's Not so easy. Slave's made Jefferson great But did Jefferson make great his slaves? He set them free when he died...In life the were his property...and this the man who wrote "We the people..." obviously some where not... Yoric muses at his desk...there might seriously be a vice to this...but his shadow smirks a smile After all, Yoric doesn't care; he watches Frankenstein And hopes the monster will survive...the voices In his ear...the dark defiant atmosphere Yoric lifts an ear...is there life out there He screams..no one answers...no one dreams... 348pm 22 Oct 2005 XVI if we are the only ones in the holy universe Yoric says then we are the seed and we have an obligation to make peace if we are the only ones please... 356pm 22 Oct 2005 XVII Yoric wants to be a dust devil on mars He likes the isolation And the monsters couldn't profile him And he'd disappear forever But the monsters haunt his mind Like a strep infection They are not to whom we should be kind They are evil in their righteousness Yoric howls at the moon Waits for retribution Yoric hears the hollow calling of the loon Echo echo in the fog beneath a hollow moon 538pm 22 Oct 2005 XVIII each individual might still have rights but the mob still rules 51/49 and that we call democracy Yoric smiles into his head MDA tells him he ain't dead yet all the monsters wants to do is gather trinkets for their small yahoo damned if Yoric feels the cause did they teach you that at school no and then you are a fucking fool but you don't know that you don't care you are the dark blue meenies 'tending to uphold a shallow law you have nothing to uphold our pride Yoric smokes a good red pipe. 627pm 22 Oct 2005 XIX wilma dances on the beach yoric motions out of reach "this is not a good decline" wilma munches on a peach yoric gathers odin's strength thunderbolts and heavy axe splits the highway like it's wax and then gives up - this is the end the monsters raid my sanity like spittle on a frozen wall an outhouse to the law and order they keep little of...yoric sighs wilma drinks her coffee up and yoric snores the law's a trap 624pm 24 Oct 2005 XX there is a hurricane called wilma yoric says to wilma wilma smiles there is a deep depression that is yoric yoric shaves his head becomes a monk that's reality he spits and that's a hat i wear...wilma dances nude out there somewhere neath a bold red sky yoric rubs against a wall hot with hollow thoughts of strep disease wilma laughs it's not what society accept i sneeze yoric quotes bob dylan and the meat is meat and one potato is a meal to some and that is not disputable lock us up he says for caring lock us up for being a minority the status quo is much more dangerous than being different no one notices wilma is the menace yoric is the crime money is the line. 634pm 24 Oct 2005 XXI monkey's on the sofa playing purr ball monkey wants his tummy rubbed how better does it get he's got food and water treats he can't resist and playing cave is his great exercise runs around chasing great gig shadows and sleeps with me at night he doesn't want much more than that his is a life of gentle ease Yoric knows the other cats wld want as much but monkey will not tolerate a violation on his mat...Yoric tried and yoric erred when he took young samantha back to the hill a 2 a.m. never saw sam again monkey dances a solid jig life is such a cruel disease just to please... 740pm 24 Oct 2005 XXII Yoric knows everything that's what the monsters are concerned they can't stand someone knowing more than they they are greased by wheels of law and order and they cannot think why someone should think for themselves there is no solution in their madness their ignorance pervades humanity in tibetan culture the monsters are the lowest of the low because they respect no human right they do not respect individuals they are bred to enforce the common law whether good or bad it doesn't matter to them they don't think unfortunately sometimes others do and those are the ones who advance society yoric wants to go to bed sometimes his great head won't let him sleep 731pm 24 Oct 2005 XXIII yoric drinks his blood red wine smiles upon the pearls of swine and winces at the monsters who perpetrate a dynamo of hate and slander and inaptitude this he cannot stands but fears the goons have got the powers and the law is skewed in their favour yoric who writes "creepy" poems yoric who has lived here 14 years yoric with a top tier job and they spew forth their venom without cause they demean themselves and yoric dies a plastic manikin. 703pm 25 Oct 2005 XXIV The monsters not only come at night The monsters come in the lull of any day Where boredom necessitates mind imbalance Crazy hate is wonderful like to say But the monsters intrude and have their way They're a sleazy group of wannabees They think they're god's own flatulence Shit on anyone who won't agree and fit their Mould...no brains these monsters have They just expect compliance and the facile law Agrees with them...I sometimes think they will wake As cockroaches in a Kafka universe and no one Will be there to honour them...scum of earth They called him...only those who are can say that much. 715pm 25 Oct 2005 XXV They say eyes change colour over the years And yoric's were blue but now are gray Just like his hair he's cut off short and Everyone asks why...what does it matter hair Is what it is, dead tissue to be discarded I guess that says something for fashion Won't discuss what's hot what's not and who Crowns false madonnas pretty faces and the like Well there's a horse some queen would like And I didn't memorize that map of horse manure And special attitudes leading to a fetid dance Of constitutional denial venal platitudes And right wing verbal plastic flack dead is duck and who knows what else Hippies please take note You are no longer wanted The pack has taken charge. 729pm 25 Oct 2005 XXVI I am no longer invited to any revolution Yoric states I am old and I am useless I am an old diva to an understudy I am Whatever you might like to say dead anyway To the public need and the ideal I set myself Upon Sometimes one goes on too long There is A shadow where the curve explodes and the sewer Stinks and patrons just pass on Give no dime And give no thumb of hope It's a useless song The rich living across from the homeless shelter And poor too poor to beg I have no regrets One youth says sleeping in a doorway I will never Give in Bureaucracy is the biggest pile of shit. 737pm 25 Oct 2005 XXVII I don't know you Yoric says I don't know you at all Never did Looking in the mirror Yoric had a great big fall 746pm 25 Oct 2005 XXVIII Yoric speaks: Lets dance Dance the levee dance Dance the Hurricane dance Dance the Earthquake dance Dance the political dance Dance the lies Dance the war games Dance the dealership Dance the Robocops Dance the ending of a civilized society Dance the beginning of a police state Dance the reign of Sheik Bin Landen The monster won We're running scared Admit it useless government We have to have new set of ideals A new leadership Someone who acknowledges defeat And goes from there to form a strategy Building better bridges better relations And form a dialogue with our deepest enemies Only then can we relate and understand each other and stop making war and hating for a cause that's so stupid it's insane We're getting nowhere in the war of the insane We just kill and kill and keep getting killed We thing a just society is understood everywhere It isn't...sometimes we must understand religion Is a vital force as long as they believe And believe me They Believe...and nothing can Shake a commitment to a life beyond where heaven provides a better life than all of our great political solutions...Believe me There is nothing we have understood we haven't botched in one way or another; A slow moving lava no one chooses to escape until their feet get burnt and they have nowhere left to run...Cocksure (maybe cracksure) to the end...But the government supports crime to make crime...a huge industry to their support services...why would anyone be motivated to get rid of crime if it's a source of finance? From tobacco to prostitution it's a joke. Don't show no compassion Yoric slobbers Hate is their domain Money and therefore Ignorance consumes their privileged convoluted Desperate way of life. I drink the last of my Tuscan wine tonight and pretend I didn't write this. Oops...too late. 819pm 25 Oct 2005 XXIX Yoric speaks: Hidden under the table is the lover of the night Hidden in the fable is the hero in his fright Hidden is the madness in the government of hope Hidden is the ecstasy in a drug addict's dope Hidden is the poison in the medicines we take Hidden is the love so many priest can only fake Hidden is the darker sides some cops display Hidden is the madness we must navigate each day Hidden is the self we cannot compromise Hidden is the face we cannot hide Hidden is the force that makes us human Hidden is the world we do not fear Hidden is the shadow of a tear Hidden is what keeps us human. 605pm 26 Oct 2005 XXX Yoric in a cubicle Yoric stares at walls Yoric answers phones Yoric says yes and punches keys on a faulty keyboard Yoric dreams of code that works 2 am is often good Getting up and drinking coke Yoric feels just like a joke Difficulty's getting drunk When he's supposed to be a monk Yoric smiles and doesn't care If the monsters have his hair Not to worry he's not wrong They are desperate in their song Like a thrush out of control These vultures just give up their soul. 621pm 26 Oct 2005 XXXI Yoric wants to go back home A great chateau in burgundy He wants to be among the books He reverently burned at ease He want to drink his Chambertin And wants spar with MDA And maybe even Hunchback flies up the stovepipe of reprieve But that was now and this is then And Yoric never knows what reality He's really in...the square root of a square root and infinity are all he knows...and he knows nothing Yoric is the universe plain and simple So are you and you and you and anyone who disrespect these premises Just leave him alone Yoric wants to go back home Where sanity is sanity And common sense still rules. 645pm 26 Oct 2005 XXXII Yoric a dead skull Do we understand Yoric No Does he understand the world he's in Hasn't got a clue Yoric has no relevance They refuse his entrance He is outside Beyond the wall He's a Peeping Tom He tends to see reality But the monsters say he's evil He observes what no one should Yoric laughs at that Eyes see anything they want And no law makes one blind But if it should We are not free No free society no nothing Yoric challenges society They don't like that They want to be safe To vent their animosity Hate is always good for what you fear Strike first Cowards 718pm 26 Oct 2005 XXXIII When Yoric was first he never lost a moment When Yoric was last he never lost a moment But when the monsters came he lost his head Lost his thoughts and lost his everything The monsters acted like a faming sword Never gave him one moment to feel human To answer accusations of appeal Just demean and slander and accuse Yoric crumpled under the abuse They don't know you said the voice when he complained like it justified Verbal degradation or break and enter But the monsters corroborate each other And the public they supposedly protect Have nothing when the monsters hit What's the use of justice when the Monsters never lie and the public always does? 755pm 26 Oct 2005 XXXIV How can we protect ourselves against the law when someone lies? we can't unless the monsters are honest and they do their job responsibly...but that's not always true to their respectability... people get hurt but they don't care humiliate is their great motto assume the worst and then go in ask questions only when the deed's been done...criminal behaviour they are profiling and in their net they don't care if they catch dolphins the catch whales... destroy the innocent to get to one who really doesn't matter on the scale of things And what of that one individual...life dead And the law is justified i it's solution. 816pm 26 Oct 2005 XXXV the difficulty it appears is with yoric's orange ears they seem to grow larger as the day wears on and the mirror always stays the same MDA says it's nothing there's a myth that frozen sperms a holy gift and those with yellow ears are bodhisattva's without tears yoric shakes his head and fortifies himself with egg yolks now I have become he writes upon a 7/11 wall next to where it says tanya I luv u google me at our favourite spot and yoric waited 50 years and when the sun went down he heard a plain meow in an alley full of rot where those forgotten sleep like rats and no one cares at least the cops and yoric knows it shouldn't be like that just don't know where his stake it at he knows they're after him for what? caring? yoric drinks his blood red wine yoric bides his time and knows he's done no wrong yoric met evil at the door and he doesn't want evil at the door again yoric and his yellow ears yoric with his trembling fears yoric lost beyond all years old and hollow yellow dust 445pm 27 Oct 2005 XXXVI Yoric speaks: Love has to simmer slowly like an aromatic stew building to a glorious conclusion. 28 Oct 2005 XXXVII I have nothing more to say. XXXVIII Yoric howls: and then i watch apocalypse now again after 15 years 2 ways home death or victory wilma hates it there are guy movies and there are girl movies she says yoric pounds the beat of his insanity no one wants reality just entertainment what's wrong with that wilma asks what's wrong with that indeed 340pm 29 Oct 2005 XXXIX fear is so pervasive it haunts our souls not our daily lives it haunts our souls the deepest part of our significance where we rationalize our enemies and our humanity and our very meaning our existence is the portion of our credibility the human species is divided by religion not politics isn't it time we indicted god for crimes against humanity? 350pm 29 Oct 2005 XL yoric crows: The god of Moses The God of Jesus and the God of Mohammed hasn't served us well and it's time we should dismiss "HIM" if only for "HIS" duplicity and sexism we are after all the human element we count beneath the suffering and hate the poverty disease and torture granted by the hands of man or by rogue chickens but let's be clear GOD or DOG just sit's up there and spits a promise to the earth for those impoverished enough to be alive they really don't but have nothing left GOD or DOG just shrugs his/her/its shoulders and that is what i formed and that is how it will be implicitly after all no greater GOD created me One more pint of Guinness Yoric pines And I will break a tear for Norma's crime GOD be damned this time for HIS insipid pride. 517pm 29 Oct 2005 XLI Yoric and the cats Yoric and the rats Yoric all alone Yoric as a prison in his home The monsters stalk Yoric's poetry The monsters stalk Yoric's photography The monsters stalk Yoric's art The monsters stalk Yoric's heart His very life his soul The monsters are a wooden plank Slap and do not hesitate to think Yoric needs a drink Yoric greatest drunk of all Yoric slapped against the wall Yoric who has nothing left Shattered keel and iceberg left Yoric dreams of pleasant valleys Sleeps in garbage alleys Where no one prunes the monster won The monster is released Yoric knows they are not pleased Yoric poisons their disease Yoric yells the truth no lies gets by him yet they cannot cry beside him...Yoric, invisible gets by... and the monsters can't stand that. 233pm 1 Nov 2005 XLII Yoric shrieks: I am eye and I see everything And they are scared out of their wits They will never let me be Because my eye records their history And History will judge them mercilessly Without regard to laws that they have made To keep them hidden They terrorize society And they will get their due I will make sure History records my view. 243pm 1 Nov 2005 XLIII Yoric writes a sonnet: willfully the wills evolve above the common trust while everyone else staggers drunk trying to make a living it's an alley-way approach but no one knows the difference where the highway runs amok the gravel road runs missing and i the leader of the pack drink silly bowls of plastic water where midnight virgins devour moons but the silver screen explodes with lust and the sailors drunk in uniform smile green teeth to a prostitute. 310pm 1 Nov 2005 XLIV SACRIMENT Yoric does a somersault The trampoline explodes Saltambique elements Play a round of golf Ezra Pond and Eliot Ply themselves with gin Kurt Cobain looks on amused with his favourite grin It's heaven where the Hell appears it's always crystal meth bad enough but do we need a drunk cop in our beds I have a great Australian wine Leather shoes and mint I spit my show into John Lennon's ear and milk a cow succinct But how does that make me a saint And cut my fingernails The wall is chocolate and melts away And the Stones are in my face I fall get up and rave again The night is like a dog rolls in the sane and defecates where god slips through god's noose after all we cannot begin to die when we make all the rules... Yoric slumbers on the roof where good and people cannot hear... 331pm 1 Nov 2005 XLV Yoric in the rain of it Producing carbon molecules As ready as the market is His paramour is in the dark Maybe Louis the XVth will invite Armadillos for the food Some say death is so delicious There is no need for the fight What cause will silver that What poem will exonerate The plastic of the mask And what first step will cowards take To monster the attack And then crawl back? 338pm 1 Nov 2005 XLVI Intermission I used to love you baby I used to love you all night long I used to love you darling I used to love you all night long When the window was open You sang me your sweet song We used to be together When the wind was strong as ice We used to be together When the wind was strong as lies You gave me your explosives And I knew it wasn't right Oh honey there was death in your sweet song apple-trees and almond and liquor sweet as it was strong And the train is hard a-comin And the wind is just as strong And the train is hard a-comin And the train taken a wrong... turn and I know better...storm's too strong Fuck I'm outta here...get me outta here... I'm just outta here...for life 351pm Nov 2005 XLVII Wilma says: If you didn't dink so much You wouldn't be so paranoid There's nothing you do wrong There's nothing they can destroy But they want to destroy Yoric munches On a paper cup...I just take pictures I have no argument...I compile history and they don't like that...they are paranoid...they are what contorts us to an evil entity...recruited young the evil empire strikes and those recruits begin to be the law...not the law's representatives...providing resolution but the monster evil they deploy. 400pm 1 Nov 2005 XLVIII GG She dances like a boring sun in a galvanized atmosphere Frozen tomatoes spelled tomatoes And fluctuating atmospheres Where the silly meets the vanquished and the vanquished meet the mud and money slaughters credence And credence slaughters naught And I lied when I was single And married I was worse Power was my master And Prozac was my curse So whenever you come over Bring nothing in your purse. 416pm 1 Nov 2005 XLIX Yoric sneers: Reality is so fragile Myth is everything. 330pm 2 Nov 2005 L There is madness in what Yoric hears and sees there is madness in stopping a disease there is madness in trying to survive the bugs will always get you fight for your lives panic for your lives you never will survive... 332pm 2 Nov 2005 LI yoric is a poodle to a cat 333pm 2 Nov 2005 LII yoric raves: society is controlled by fear by what they are not allowed to know what is kept from them frightens them because they only know what they've been told they are not allowed to judge for themselves they are told it is wrong and have no other rights the law does not judge by reason but judges by the book and no one is better for being forced to hire a lawyer the law is so convoluted common people cannot understand it this is not the law this is control and it is wrong the law should be succinct murder property abuse concrete perpetrations not shallow accusations not bad cops good cops we are better for the common good everyone's an human being give the world a break 354pm 2 Nov 2005 LIII Yoric writes a play: (All names and situations are fictional) Yoric sits drinking wine in his study and breathing like a monk Strong loud knock on the door Yoric groggy stumbles to the door Looks through the peep-hole Police Yoric opens door 3 Officers confront him Y: Yes? Officer Hollow head (name not known until later): Can we come in? Y: What's this about? OH: Can we come in? Y: Let me get some Id... OH: STAND BACK! THIS IS AN INVESTIGATION. Yoric steps back. Police enter, two officers run to Yoric's bedroom. OH: Just walk over to a chair and sit down. Yoric does so. Y: You treat me with respect and so will I. OH: What does that mean? Y: Just what I said. OH: Do you wear woman's clothes? Y: (incredulous) Never. What's this about? OH: You were seen on the roof pissing into your chimney. Y: I wouldn't do that. By whom? OH: We can't tell you that. Y: When? OH: What was the last call about? Y: I have different moral values. They didn't like the pictures I took. OH: What kind of pictures do you take? Y: All types. OH: People? Y: Sure. OH: What ages? Y: All ages. One to ninety-nine. OH: Young girls? Y: Young, old, it's all the same. OH: NO IT IS NOT! Notices the doll on the chair across the room. OH: Is that your doll? Y: It belongs to my girlfriend. OH: What's her name? Y: Wilma. OH writes that down. OH: What's her phone number? Y: I'll have get it... OH: You don't know your girlfriend's phone number? Y: I have problems remembering certain sequences of numbers and that's one of them. The female officer comes in and looks under the blanket covering the doll. OH: (to the female officer) He can't remember his girlfriend's phone number. OH: (to YORIC): HOW MUCH DO YOU PAY HER TO COME HERE? Y: She's been with me... OH: So what do you do with that doll anyway? Y: I don't understand... OH: Do you fuck it? Y: What? OH: You better get rid of it, because if it's still here next time we come over we're going to charge you with something very serious. Y: A doll that belongs to my girlfriend? OH: GET RID OF IT! I'M NOT WARNING YOU AGAIN. FEMALE OFFICER: You should see that we found back there. Other Officer walks in with piece of paper. OH and FO go to back of house. OO: Who is Morpheme? Y: A friend. OO: Who old is she? Y: About 21 18 years ago... OO: Well, let me tell you sir, you write creepy poetry. Other officers return. OH: What's that microscope doing in your study? Y: I observe... OH: From what we can see, you do a lot more that just take pictures. Yoric, YOU'RE A VOYEUR!!! Y: All Poets are voyeurs. OH: Well then, you must be a PEEPING TOM!!!! Y: (incredulous) What??? OH: You heard me. You are a PEEPING TOM! Y: With a microscope??? OH: Even amoebas have a right to privacy. Y: You must be kidd... OH: I'm warning you Yoric...One more outburst... Yoric sits back and says nothing. They turn to leave. Yoric stands up and follows them. OH: You know Yoric, I hate your guts. You are the lowest the low. You're slime and scum. I hate bastards like you. You fucking pervert. And I'm warning you, GET RID OF THE DOLL! Y: It's not mine... OH: GET RID OF THE DOLL! And that microscope... They open the door to leave. Yoric bolts past them into his study... FO reacts. OH: Let him go. Yoric returns with the microscope mumbling. Y: Misaligned lenses...don't even work... And throws the microscope into the cesspool next to the out-house many yards away. OO: Good toss... Y: Satisfied? OH: Damage's been done, hasn't it? Y: Guess amoebae have those rights... They leave and slam the door shut. Yoric opens the door. Y: By the way, I want your badge numbers and your names. OH: You can get that from your boss. Once we talk to him and tell him what a scumbag you are, I doubt you'll have a job. They leave and drive away. Yoric climbs up on the roof and sits alone in the silent darkness surveying the miles of empty country-side around his cottage. A raven lands on the chimney next to Yoric. RAVEN: What was that all about? Y: Haven't got a clue. THE END 427pm 10 Nov 2005 715am 25 Nov 2005 838pm 7 Dec 2005 815pm 19 Dec 2005 1258pm 27 Dec 2005 LIV Roses The monsters are still in Yoric's head. They awake at the strangest of time. When he's working, when he's asleep When he doesn't try to think at all His pinball game is suffering His poetry is suffering His soul is suffering And he's in a fighting mood But does not fight He just squirrels himself away Never looks out the window Goes for no more walks And takes no photographs Drinks too much, but he's always Done that. The world has crumbled Because of an unproven accusation And an outright lie, and with no Accuser to confront Yoric bleeds And lives from day to day the best He can with the knowledge they can do no Wrong. The monsters are out of control And Yoric, ever true to the poet's path Lingers in the thorns of roses one more time. 438pm 10 Nov 2005 LV Yoric warbles: The sweep of the sweep isn't the sweep Until we surrender to the peep of the peep And the cat at the ready is worthy of what The Halcyon frightens into a flesh burning vat A Universe doubtful is a universe lost And a human commissioned is a classic prolonged So I cannot self service where I scramble the eggs And somehow this madness is self rearranged And a smile and a warble and a purr and thump People blast people to a silly x dump Where they honey in honey and syrup the flesh Roasting remembrance and forgetting today With the shadow of ganger and where we accrue with no clear purpose still somehow evolve. 514pm 11 Nov 2005 LVI What Yoric watches: Frankenstein 1931 Dracula 1931 The Mummy 1932 The Wolf Man 1941 Invaders from Mars 1953 Led Zeppelin: The Song Remains the Same 1976 Apocalypse Now 1979 The Fly 1986 The man should be in jail, Watching what others watch. Yoric throws up in his chimney Douses yesterday's flames And howls like a dis-enfranchised beggar At a broken duty box And what is that you ask? Your PHD priority. 528pm 11 Nov 2005 LVII Yoric confronts history: GERMAN SERVICE WWII Until I am allowed to lay a reef For my father at the war memorial I will wear no poppy for the dead 532PM 11 nov 2005 LVIII Yoric demolishes his chimney He wants nothing the monsters take He wants nothing they can sample him Into a database... He'd do the cottage too if not for Wilma, who thinks everything is real And no one will be touched By the "Roman" element... Three crosses mounted on a lawn Burning in the shadow of the law Wasting in he shadow of the law And no one cares or understands No one touched by no one's hand Silent witness on the stand. 554pm 11 Nov 2005 LIX Yoric muses: 'In the beginning was the "creative word"' So who spoke the "creative word"? And if someone spoke the "creative word" Who spoke the "creative word" creating the speaker Of the "creative word"? Mental loop. Cartesian product. God begat herself. Too simple to understand, we just go on Murdering each other because the "creative word" Has different languages and differing interpretations. But interpretations are a human fault The divine is something we can strive for But can never know. So one way or the other The "creative word" is a shadow we obscure, Not through science, but through ignorance and hate. 321am 12 Nov 205 LX yoric is of a different time he does not understand this world he harbours no injustice toward anyone yet his motives are constantly questioned by those who see him strange aloft and reprehensible for acts he ill commits in the minds of those below his common intellect the unknown begets fear they say yet the sane are made to suffer by the lost who would hallucinate a perfect lie because they cannot see the next step on the ladder yoric sits beneath the stars and smiles into Galileo's eagle eye no one must desert the truth for lies g smiles back yoric ducks 653pm 13 Nov 2005 LXI fragment yoric shivering on the floor fetal position all sanity removed sobbing uncontrollably the lies the lies he screams the god damn fuckin' lies truth has no reality and reality less truth this is dante's hell my friend where god can sit on his toilet and shit upon the world why have you forsaken me jesus moaned upon the cross yoric sees the hollowverse not out there but in his head ... 417am 14 Nov 2005 LXII flat broke yoric craves indulgence limited to two litres wine there's hardly room for artistic wanderlust so he settles for a salami sandwich and inane tv fantasies no la boheme and no mimi no grand music boticelli can divest of all feeling yoric in november artistically uncompromized in ain rand's world of numbered individuals hitler was an amateur compared to this world we live in we call free it got there so slowly we never noticed it full control to keep our freedom full control to keep our lives full control to live a lie so sir walter was right after all the lie is the only thing that keep us sane and the fool in the pleasure palace has only a grand tomb to strive for we on the other hand dig potatoes for a greater sustenance... 3:53pm 14 Nov 2005 LXIII Yoric muses: What if we are doing it wrong? what if we are canvassing starts so much farther in the past that they can't have intelligent life? what if we are alone in our present and they are active in our future? just like we ignore the fact that one part of the universe must be several parts father than the edge that we observe and in-between must be a void where the big bang happened so we have not observed this void we not observed the centre of our universe we have not observed ourselves 237pm 15 Nov 2005 LXIV Yoric sits upon his roof surveying miles of empty field yoric drinks his chateau grossombre hail and snow beat on his head and he wants to read the london times and the shadow moon will not comply he knows the monsters will e there if he flashes one more light times he knows are just too tight why would yoric want to live yoric really crunches this they are they and he is he there's a stand-off ambiguity yoric knows they'll come for him wilma say's "you're paranoid" maybe yoric wipes his crotch can't be sure of parasites the men in blue are everywhere spying in your underwear yoric hides beneath the sheets yoric will walk no more streets the monsters have castrated him the monsters seek his next of kin the monsters haunt each single room he cannot sleep they killed his dreams yoric doesn't hate but hate it seems is what they gather strength upon the monsters are the fear upon they tread and stomp and storm and hit their head...the monsters should be dead. yoric coughs i bled and they desired laughter in their bed the monsters are a simple lot punch-drunk insecurity but still the bastards come for me simple vision grand assured justice does not vision this the monsters supplement the shed of shit in a bureaucratic brain yoric screams and screams again nightmares pound his head in vain hamlet is his favourite monkey need the skull say more to flunky? 352pm 15 Nov 2005 LXV everything here is surrealistic i walk barefoot on the salt and crows are shadows of the past you do not comfort false solutions you do not cut the severed cord twice but many do false providence...glass beaches data reconnecting an ageing population whatever happened to humanity computer projections fiscal policy we are just a number and death is so desirable these days why should life-times bother with the masters of control i am only one more skull one more fool 402pm 15 Nov 2005 LXVI yoric runs through freezing rain to get another glass of wine the streets glitter with a shine of gold and phosphorous and oil we can't afford to spill but spill because we are superior we fill he bill of egomania to a supreme level...yoric loves the devil why? the d does not condemn like God does...the d just bides his time gathering up those souls god distrusts and this is how we've run our lives in total ignorance and lies let god and devil fry. 457pm 15 nov 2005 LXVII the glitter of gewitter (i think i've said that before) but then i have a history hamlet burnt out ophelia a morph and who stood behind the curtain and who was what to whom i was just a dirt devil empty eyes and toothless scalp shakes made a better poet but i got the better deal klaus got dust between his fingers and mumbled something to the moon and when the moon responded he didn't call upon a ghost for signs of retribution hate is not in his ideal yoric rises from the ashes and the ashes sift through yoric's hands klaus is by his window the world appears an open show and history should see everything yoric the photographer kills his camera klaus says yoric's dumb the monsters shadow hate the monsters are the dumb failures hate becomes yoric bites his thumb drinks too much and the rum gets to his head yoric needs a better head yoric cowers in the shed the moon is half the moon can be for lovers who can never be y and h and where's Penelope the banks are crazy drowning in the sea of governmental sleaze and wilma dares appear and slaughters lives too dear to resurrect a universe too personal to share...I fear we have become fragmented we can't connect we are obscure we are a hollow plastic moor where the quicksand waits for us and the fog obscures our final desperate moment yet no perfect world appears to comfort all our fears so wipe away the tears ain't nothing gonna save you anyway...death is a relief life is a solution we can't solve... yoric falls asleep klaus goes home and shuts his system off 546pm 15 Nov 2005 LXVIII yoric doesn't know the damn for good feed his cat inferior food...never rants like a devil at the sun ain't it good to have some fun NEVER thi...too drunk yoriiiiiiiic caaaaant ex==acceptthe junk\ aere the monstres rear=ll or are theeeey nottt[] the church isn';t what w e haven't go great to ahve a god for god level argumentive lot i just want cheese... 727pm 15 nov 05 LXIX if the universe lives we can't die and if we can't die the universe must always live pretend it's the only hope we have 730pm 15 nov 2005 LXX yoric drinks saint-emillion 2000 christian mouex chateau grossobre 2000 domdechant werner 2002er hochheimer hoelle riesling kabinett and after that his cat won't even talk to him good for yoric's cat 738pm 15 nov 2005 LXXI yoric the lawyer: if countries can have borders why can't individuals it has got to be a human right to protect their property even against the monsters invasion of ones privacy is a desperate act of indulgence... 250pm 16 nov 2005 LXXII yoric munches on his 4th bottle of wine yoric is not feeling fine yoric is a wounded animal desperate indeed yoric wants a better cause than life... no one is forthcoming yoric digs his grave pisses hard into his chimney and smiles at all the rabbits staring at the carrot several stories up beyond their comprehension 301pm 16 nov 2005 LXXIV first snow yoric slides off the roof into a thorn bush yoric hurts bleeds picks himself up kicks a rock hurts his foot curses slips and crashes on his back looks at the flakes coming down on his face calm rushes in universe unfolds in his empty skull face wet yoric doesn't care lying outside in the wet snow wet hair wet clothes take me yoric thinks take me infinity eternity unknown take me take me home... 634pm 17 nov 2005 LXXV yoric likes rem somehow in all this mess he's forgotten 'em turkey's chicken's free range like an actor on gladstone faking prostitution because the stones make money and city hall approves... of making money.. take the girls in rake the johns and collect the money then release the honey one more time to plied her trade it's like the cops release the bate and fish the johns humiliate and the do third fuck again and again with no thought or rationality what can yoric say he pisses his chimney away into a cosmic breeze i wd like the cops responsible have a signed form before invading property understand the principle of who you serve everyone is presumed innocent under the law so why do some officers think they can demean where there is just an accusation but no proof or charge and where does the same institution get the right to investigate themselves and come up with a positive solution you have done the damage crush your toes... 922pm 18 Nov 2005 LXXVI yoric too drunk to understand he doesn't deny it rooftops and basements strange revelations and cathars in a flaming bonfire he's all the same even silliman's blog doesn't faze him yoric's the devil 's nemesis... rotary telephones and 99 dollar computers and an heritage magazine bucking all convention but yoric loves convention upside down yoric settles for another glass of pinot grignio and puts it down to fame he's never known and wants to know death is his solution for everything life is just a monster argument no one understands and curse if they don't know... so how could anyone know that? the universe is an inflated tire we haven't used...and if we did the volume's questionable... conceive me in a swamp and all this might seem real... 934pm 18 Nov 2005 LXXVIII everybody knows ...sometimes don't give away the truth to those who use it for a lie death might be a truth but we ca' buy it... 98pm 18 nov 2005 LXXVIX i don't understand these numbers anymore yoric muses there was once a time... but no one remembers it and i am given to hallucinations so the monsters say stay away stay away i say,,, 1001pm 18 nowhere today 2005 LXXX yoric cosmic: fuck the moment i conceived you didn't have a cunt. 1005pm 18 no data 5 LXXXI yoric the poet: tell me one more fairy tale and i will tell the truth tell me one more lie and you will rust in wood.. 1007pm 18 nov 2005 (whenever that may be) LXXXII these roman numerals are such a lark i can't read them in the dark and even if i could...i wouldn't would... think about that next time the dictionary hurts... 1013pm 18 nov (unknown) 2005 LXXXIII yoric flops: enduring mediocrity is such a bore who creates this shit? 336pm 20 Nov 2005 LXXXIV yoric sobre: the moon is occupied ...tonight the moon is occupied ...every night the moon is occupied ...when you want it the moon is occupied ...when it isn't the moon is occupied ...when it is the moon is occupied ...in a garden the moon is occupied ...on a street the moon is occupied ...in retreat the moon is occupied ...in defeat the moon is occupied ...where we meet the moon is occupied ...occupied ...occupied the moon is occupied ...with our needs 843pm 21 Nov 2005 LXXXV yoric honest: i'm done with the audience i write for myself if i were a bodhisattva i wouldn't write at all the tree of humanity defeats me tiny tiny tiny forever imperceptible we interpret what we do not understand swing monkey swing dance monkey dance show us your great pride to understand the universe you must first decide who you really are... 848pm 21 nov 2005 LXXXVI Fragment: the monsters have a sickness called power in their eyes yoric has a disease called compassion compassion and power do not mix while a lie might obscure a truth truth will always unmask a lie they might have sharp-shooters on my roof but the truth i hold will never die... 909pm 21 nov 2005 LXXXVII yoric reminisces: jfk murdered yoric just a lamb in front of his tv set riveted to history in black and white his mother kept him out of school to watch this jfk's casket oswald shot in the underground garage jack ruby wrestled to the ground then the rotunda and the infinite line of mourners and little john saluting next to the widow in black and johnston was president and the Vietnam war raged on and soon martin luther king jr shot and the watts riots and then rk and yoric stayed home then too and watch people singing john brown body as the train pulled past and he beatles just released revolution and the rolling stones street fighting man and paris wracked by riots and then the decade slammed shut the devil and his cohorts pranced upon the stage at midnight while shadows stabbed at shadows and we watched all incredulous as the 70's became drivel after that. 426pm 22 nov 2005 LXXXVIII yoric ponders the present and the future: how have we ever gotten here from there? how did we ever survive without the invasive laws we surmount like stepping over muddy puddles today? it seems that most of the crime that happens today is not a crime trivial things murder needs to be addressed violence - any violence be it rape or domestic or on the street is violence yet the law makes a distinction they complicate too much violence is violence murder is murder (commit the physiatrists) theft is theft and i don't understand the law of deviance... if we judged today half the writers painters poets in the world would be in jail under the present rule of law i envision no great literature ever again unless the monsters are eradicated and a new solution is achieved the day will come where there are no freedoms and none of us will be able ever again to make a choice as to how to live our lives...that is why i live alone on this estate...no one to bother me...i to bother no one...i live my own life my own law my own code my own religion and to never hurt any living entity by my being...they have their rights I have mine...but society doesn't work like that you either conform or you are deviant...outcast Camus said the brightest and greatest movers are always the outcasts because they see what others don't...and it needs to be that way...otherwise there cannot be advancement in the human evolution yet the walls come up and someone must be there to tear them down and that is what we poets do we artist and writers we have an obligation to stretch the boundaries to challenge the laws...we have an obligation to see the distant shore and will the rest of humanity towards it...and they will kick and scratch because they are the insecure and we the strong Galileo before the dead and drunk willing to see it all. 544pm 22/23 nov 2005 LXXXIX yoric is a hollow skull where everything can enter the monsters have no hollow skull they have dirt between their ears 547pm 23 nov 2005 XC yoric the philosopher: the beginning of the beginning is the end of something else if it were otherwise who created God? we will find that there is an infinity of quantum particles and each stage provides us with a greater mystery that we will eventually deny ourselves and all of our coveted reality and venture into nothing only then will we become ourselves in the greatness that we are evolving into everything. 602pm 23 nov 2005 XCI yoric states: address me for a moment then bow down i am the harbinger of everything i am the god of saliari i am the god who trampled on mozart i am the god who was mozart i am the god of everything i am in a wheelchair in a Viennese asylum coughing up monstrous roaches kafka purposefully unleashed upon a desperate starving public and no one thought they were nutritious but his roach spoke and ours unfolds a master plan there is a fable that speaks the cats o' the hill did such a good job they chased all the rats into the old and towering buildings maybe they did maybe no one cares maybe the cats are the only solution maybe yoric is the only hope maybe yoric doesn't belong anywhere maybe yoric's just a peeping tom observing with an empty skull hoping history will absolve the intrusion as it did for all those who came before and had to suffer for their vision... the monsters have an iq of 20 yoric has an iq of nothing yoric smiles at the sky the monsters can't even see the sky the monsters refuse to even try to understand why someone marvels at the sky the word rules their world and as the word was GOD and this GOD let jesus die upon the cross to do what save a pope or be a dupe in an election promise i don't think so but that's what all this means personal gain greed nothing else compassion is a tree in a wood obscured by mountains of rotting garbage there is a kid buddha meditating under a bo tree for six months now surrounded by three fences and a mountain of garbage and fast food joints he just meditates they just watch and eat and pollute even a buddha cannot change the world that's what we've become that's what we've become to die... 831pm 23 nov 2005 XCII yoric ruminates: (200 blank lines) 837pm 23 nov 2005 XCIII freedom: 200 lines of silence for the vets 200 lines of silence for their sacrifice they saved the world from lies they died to save the world from lies and yet in spite of it lies survive did they die for nothing no the taught us a valuable lesson lies only take hold when we refuse to listen with our wisdom and not our hearts or youthful indiscretion or our fear the monsters are upon us stand up to them they work for you 847pm 23 nov 2005 XCIV the mansion has no heat yoric shivers in the cold wearing nothing but shorts and holy socks that snag his toe nails yoric drink Beaujolais nouveau and watches star trek next generation and doesn't understand the world g-d knows he tries but somehow oversteps the boundaries where the monsters draw the line and the monsters are a sordid bunch they do what others cannot do and in the line of duty get away with it. 514pm 24 nov 2005 XCV yoric on the law: yoric went down to the zoo to feed the lions he wanted to feed them politicians but that was politically incorrect so he fed them inert matter instead but if that is any difference you must be the judge yoric does not subscribe to homogeny he wasn't everyone to be distinct- ly different from the other yoric wants no divine harmony yoric wants a storm that's how humanity evolves he says by the spear and ax and thunderbolt not by the least common denominator we must strive to tear down boundaries especially our greatest mediocrity the law of compromise...nothing hurts us more than that. 212pm 25 nov 2005 XCVI yoric builds a wall around the cottage pebble by pebble he is milarepa of a thousand poems building a cottage for his master only to tear it down again and replace what was taken time again and time again one does not learn so much as compromise the war is in our minds yoric has an empty skull... 217pm 25 nov 2005 XCVII yoric's head explodes into a mush of mud and no one calls for pamela anderson to drag him clear Yoric has no fear ten cops couldn't drag him down beyond the dread disease he's above them all he can urinate upon his skimpy wall what's it to the perverts anyway to see him they had to be god a priceless relic of a Nubian age where tribal borders can't be crossed and lonesome blackness is eternal (OS understands so does) and pernod holds each poet's hand and then REM sings: everybody hurts everybody hurts and yoric goes down the drain bought a 60 dollar bottle of wine today chassagne montrachet 2002 and too scared to drink it drinking plunk instead and listening to this (what can one call it... beyond words..the beatles amateurs compared to this...the only song close to this is stones: back street girl and no one hears...) we might as well serve fine gold goblets at a greasy dine joint... and yet only some of the troops come home and we are obsessed with this junk 327pm 26 nov 2005 XCVIII yoric in love: do you love me she asks a n d i have no answer... 329pm 26 nov 2005 XCIX yoric muses 'bout sex: the perfect moment is where our eyes meet our genitals and dismiss the aberration. 337pm 26 nov 2005 C yoric muses upon...what? everything -- the universe no less a hangnail: Part I are you homosexual? no. are you heterosexual? no. are you bi? no. are you a pervert? no. what are you then? A Human Being. 213pm 2 dec 2005 Part II are you a catholic? no. are you a protestant? no. are you a jew? no. islam? no. buddhist? no. hindu? no. any other religion? no. atheist? no. what are you then? part of a greater existence than god could ever be. as god is our creation creation cannot be we exist eternal time space eternity 3 dimensions we do not exist we cannot exist the universe was not created the universe does not exist we do not exist we exist in each others' past we exist only in our own present never another's' god did not create us we created god i said that before i repeat myself the universe repeats itself scientists only see a model never a reality we are living in their model we see no reality the universe does not exist we do not exist nothing out of nothing is nothing 0=0 our mathematics are built on a fallacy that 0+1=1 but 0+1=0 where 0<>1 so -1+1=0 1+1 may = 2 but where does 1 come from? one does not exist where 0 exists 1 cannot exist but if 1 does exist 0 cannot exist so what happens to -1 when +1 creates a universe? an anti-universe? yes but for that to happen 0 cannot exist 0 like god is a human invention 0 like god cannot exist so the universe does not exist we do not exist so how do we think? how do we perceive "reality" like a termite in a colony a greater sanction to a cause we are receptacles we feed the greater need and the greater need is something so beyond our measurement we need not even seek it (705pm 2 dec 2005) consider the universe draw a great circle on a piece of paper that if you have science believe has to be the expanding universe since the big bang wrought a uniform sphere now place the earth 3/4 or more towards one end then draw a circle as great as the universe around it this is what we perceive our universe not the other you see the universe to us cannot be uniform because we are the centre of it maybe 10 billion years at one end what of the 40 billon at the other? yet science would have us believe the universe is expanding like a predictable model might be but not from our perspective and if from our perspective then our perspective is as tainted as the perspective of the men who imprisoned Galileo blind as a bat models is all we have reality is something else (333pm 4 dec 2005) but we do not exist and what we observe does not exist in fact nothing in the present exists everything we are is in the past the reality of my foot is not the reality of my head the reality one synapse is not the reality of another yet the quantum works with a fuzzy logic we cannot control do we die? i don't know. do we live? even less. do we wonder? supremely. do we suffer? every moment of our lives. why? because we keep trying to define ourselves as something other than what we are and what is that? the universe whether here or not we are as the universe exists we exist within the 0 of the 0 which can never = 1 we exist within ourselves we exit within the greater argument we exist within the void we exist within the god we have created we exist within the shadow we exit within the light we bask in the grand solution we should never understand for if we do reality would cease to exist and everything we are and hope to be will disappear for the infinite moment of existence where 0 still ='s 0 and 1 ='s 1 and no one can explain the leap (542pm 4 dec 2005) Part III so where are we going? where have we been? 1058am 5 dec 2005 CI yoric rages: my head is exploding i cannot see straight the wine rages through me and the walls always shake the corner of no-life is my life for sure the fog obscures shadows but the water s pure and however we master the waste we have made disaster's upon us make no mistake where lies become normal the poet waits... 1106am 5 dec 2005 CII yoric in the attic: dust an inch of dust on everything manuscripts books newspapers old computers keyboards monitors photo albums his father's his mother's his own he picks up a sheet of music mozart it ain't but the throbbing bass and driving beat like pounding fists upon a desk Beethoven's last yoric's deep decline into the wilderness of art science is discipline art is the virgin Amazon untouched and brazen in it's shadows the monsters are afraid of that they are afraid of what they cannot see or understand they are strip-miners indiscriminately they tear the night down and replace it with a blinding search-light there they see everything to control they are robots they don't care for deeper thoughts or searching for an unknown truth it's black and white to them the monsters hate the dark poets revel in it yoric puts the manuscript down blows the dust from an old photograph of friend in a distant place shela morphine mda and the hunchback struggling to make snow-angels in the mud and then the stranger no one ever knew who was another time Yoric finds an old bottle of chambertin blows away the dust opens it and the aroma fills the place with lavender and liquorices and roses and wet brown earth upon an autumn afternoon when the vine stalls were set ablaze and the autumn filled with warmth and atmosphere of another time long ago when the monsters did not so much as have a path into your brain when you were equal to them when you held your own and made your own decisions and you made good decisions not to harm another and not to steal your neigbour's goods and there were no petty laws to control your every thought and now the monsters are everywhere in your face they profile people (damn freud) they want everyone to be the same they want everyone to be the robots that they are yoric throws the photos down in a cloud of musty dust and pours the contents of the bottle on the floor that world is no more he knows so he leaves the attic locks the door and walks down the stairs into a world he's come to hate and yoric knows no hate that's what it's become... 1147am 5 dec 2005 CIII Cheese Damn these new shoes yoric winces cut heels and pain to boot a revolution to the hills cat scratching furniture and REM on the VCR Bardolino circling through the veins and sweat upon his brow what's more to like for the future of this stand up lie down comic dead skull and full of empty hope yoric smiles like many stars we can't ascend to - a toothless grin may have a meaning for bi-polar hamlet but yoric knows ghosts appear when he blows his nose. 703pm 7 Dec 2005 CIV yoric knows that the monsters are just that.. monsters who dissolve in the acid of truth. chicken is crazy when you drive... monsters go crazy when you do nothing wrong. monsters sing a very desperate song. 713pm 7 dec 2005 CV monsters should never be cops. 720pm 7 dec 2005 CVI yoric alone in his study books piled around his knees computer screen glows his words appear as he writes this missal jesus on the cross hamlet where he lost winter with its frost empty universe for us to cross never knowing quite where reality begins and where it ends 1,97 says the brochure advertising a complete christmas dinner. 725pm 7 dec 2005 CVII After dinner honesty Spill the wine You know I'm drunk. 735pm 7 dec 2005 CVIII what is poetry there is a tree called ygdrasil yoric hung upon for 13 years upside down clenched fingernails bled copious litres of blood black from too much wine but two squirrels saved him and he came down unscathed to plant a sapling in the mud of literature slowly growing it branches out into a hostile world underground filling the earth with a great argument what is truth and what is lie and what is poetry yoric doesn't know neither does the world but a shaman does a madman does a child's eye glistens with it and adults just pretend... 754pm 7 dec 2005 CIX yoric writes a diversion: Wilma's One Night Stand (Or was it just a dream?) for TW Wilma's left toe dances beneath the curvature of satin sheets ruffled by a soft warm spanish breeze, gently wafting like rose-petal scents through her open bedroom window. Lilac fills her dreams as she floats through rolling meadows pricked gently by bramble bushes and tickled by the blue mountain grass. Bright yellow flowers surround her, while the harmonious sunshine warms her white unblemished skin. The still air sparkles and crickets' chirping echoes from horizon to horizon. Slowly she awakes to sunrise and the billowing damask trim of her curtains. Stretching her limber body, arms extended like angel wings, she yawns and smells the warm aroma of freshly brewed coffee. He first thought is mmmm, what a wonderful aroma.. But then, hey, who's brewing the coffee? I'm alone here. She gets up, wraps a robe around her and slowly inches toward the bedroom door. Opening just a little crack, she looks out and sees the back of a hunk humming while placing, ever so delicately, chocolate croissants on a warm plate. A first she was afraid and rather angry, as she had every right to be, and wanted to run out and confront him. But after awhile, watching him from behind the crack of her bedroom door, she grew fascinated with this stranger who had entered her house unannounced and was behaving as if he had always been there; indeed, belonged there. And while she couldn't quite place the melody the strange handsome dark latin male was humming it sounded just familiar enough that it was hypnotizing to enter her mind like an enchantment. She watched him as he methodically prepared like what seemed a special breakfast, and arranged it neatly on a tray. For the final touch, he placed a single rose in a vase and placed it on the right hand side. This must have a special significance Wilma wondered. Oh he's coming here. She rushed back into bed and jumping under the now cold sheets, pretended to be asleep. She heard the footsteps and then an almost inaudible creak as the door opened and the dark-haired stranger entered with the tray. The fresh smell of coffee and chocolate croissants permeated her nostrils. What a marvelous aroma! He gently sat down on the bed next to her, placed the tray over her torso, and stroked her golden hair. Wake up, my sweet, he said. Wake up, my darling one. She slowly opened one eye, then the other. Who...who are you? she asked. I am Xavio Jorge Honarius. I have come to be your servant. I am here at your command. I will do anything you ask. Wilma couldn't believe her ears. I must still be asleep and dreaming, she thought. She closed her eyes again. He whispered, it's ok my sweet. I have come to be with you. I have come to be your everything. She smiled. I don't believe you. That is your prerogative. I will leave if you wish. He got up. Without willing, her arm unconsciously grabbled his bicep and pulled him back. No...don't go. Make love to me. He took the tray from her torso and placed it on the dresser next to the bed. Slowly he undressed. His body was leather. Each muscle pulsed with a fever she had never seen. Every muscle in her body tensed up, and then went limp as to submit to a conquering being. He knelt naked beside the bed and slowly moved his lips down her smooth serpentine leg and took her toe gently between his lips, his tongue stimulating every vibrant nerve running up into the full structure of her torso. Every muscle in her lithe body exploded into a rapture of exotic dreams. Slowly she drifted into a sexual slumber unprecedented in her playful indiscretion. Wilma awakes to the caw caw of crows in her yard. Dark clouds on the horizon. It is Monday, and damn, if she doesn't have to get up and commute to work. It's cold outside, and over night the new snow tasted the frozen soil and quicklime pavement. And no aroma of black coffee anywhere. Wilma slowly gets up and drags a robe across her shoulders. Then sees a tray with cold coffee, a stale chocolate croissant and a withered rose in a cracked vase on her dresser. How did that get there? she mumbles. Must'ave been some night. 452pm 9 dec 2005 CX yoric blows his brains and listened to REM: yoric went home early the monsters got his brain 3 months later he's still upset nightmares haunt his constitution the monsters got inside his head yoric hates the monsters yoric never hated anyone...ever before this something's got to be done what they did was wrong yoric can't sing a useless song creepy poetry they said you write yoric smiles at that cops as critics...imagine that? 723pm 12 dec 2005 CXI yoric's perfect moment: i lie down beside you gentle as a leaf our bodies intermingle there is nothing we reject in a moment of neglect the total entity of life sucks into a spatial vortex that basic corners basic in my dreams install in present moments where the lost presume and the scientists dissect making love to you she said was where god never took us...but you did. 12 dec 2005 CXII one wonders if we make our own shadows or shadows are cast upon us because we are simply here beneath a bright yellow sun somewhere in the universe of our existence? 718pm 14 dec 2005 CXIII yoric in his study papers everywhere books on the sofa boxes on the floor drafty premises just had my window fixed yoric shakes his head and sneezes jeez he says it's cold in here turns the thermostat higher nothing changes pulls is bathrobe tighter and blows his nose again had a day of blizzard 30 cm snow let's get one more beer take two tylenol midnight monkey's curled up on a chair yoric checks for fever feels hot and shivering inconclusive christmas coming have to get a card yoric's just not right tonight eyes water runny nose shivering yoric goes to bed monkey lies nest to him wants his tummy rubbed yoric sneezed monkey panics yoric up again yoric writes this just to write... 145am 17 dec 2005 CXIV Yoric reads in the local paper: Constable Hollow head arrested for stealing booze from the mayor's bedroom closet of course the mayor wasn't home so the mayor's wife contends Constable Hollow head's lawyer had no comment The police chief said he was sad to loose such fine outstanding officer. 201am 17 dec 2005 CXV wilma says it's closure yoric snorts who cares 204am 17 dec 2005 CXVI yoric makes a decision: yoric goes for a walk in the snow his are the only footsteps he walks towards the forest like james earl jones walked across the field of dreams into the cornfield wondering what's there and giggling like a child as he disappears without a fear but yoric stops and pauses there is so much more he says there is so much more i want to write yoric walks back to the house and as he does his footsteps disappear and the trampled snow is virgin once again. 213am 17 dec 2005 CXVII yoric fights dandruff: eggnog and rum yoric dissolves into questionable attitudes watching fiddler on the roof on one hand's it's ok on the other hand well it's ok too god knows his peccadilloes who am i to complain i'm just a starving animal on a flake of dandruff when god shakes his head knowing head and shoulders(tm) will save me in the end. 643pm 17 dec 2005 CXVIII yoric watches fiddler on the roof: there once were human beings 656pm 17 dec 2005 CXIX yoric smiles: we haven't seen it yet open fear the future fear the future it is here 706pm 17 dec 2005 CXX the last poem is for wilma: thanks. 720pm 17 dec 2005 Copyright (c) 2005 Klaus J. Gerken Published by Ygdrasil Press 2005