WORD SYMPHONIES by Klaus-Jens Gerken (2006) Thanks to Heather Ferguson for the edits PROLOGUE The first disgrace Tell them what you are saying and they still don't understand * WORD SYMPHONY I (Refer: Mahler Symphony II) "Fate" I You start with 1 note: b flat major caught in the middle of an argument between two cats in the halls of parliament and pianoforte displaces seven drums and the master violinist throws confusion to the wind and becomes Beethoven wild hair broken ears and what silence wrought such noise Mozart was a dilettante compared to this horse of a monster laughter fills the aisles priests bow down to elohim and displace her form so b said to mozart chickenshit when m denuded his talent and spat on B's desire "you are like a nerve to me raping harvest moons." M went on to greater things 200 hundred years later won an oscar and made pretty noise B created a great complexity maybe jazz and something M wd never have understood and who can argue where that went? Sometime we don't know knowing we don't know sometimes the hammer needs a wall sometimes we need to suffer and always the law is a petty argument to creativity I have nothing left but words and understanding they have nothing left but pretty lawns and their neighbour's attitude their children are their harbour their wives a true receptacle (do they ever understand each other?) they compromise and the blasé live in peace... There's a moment where the shattered shatter and refuse to take this anymore the world is not a piano the world is what you do with it but the concrete matters to the LAAAAAAAW the individual conforms and that is RAW... they don't like that (give three cellos and a crash-- the Beatles even had a cord for that) Help or maybe just a Hard Day's Night Will we ever get it right? The frozen surface of a bowl of water will not satisfy a thirsty cat And we kill each other in cruel places Compassion bleeds another curse And who are we to just assume Assuming is for those who blow the promise to the need of something else The Fly The Planet The Last Rites dormant on my shelf refuse to void the brilliance whatever form they take or fake assuming has to be the great escape take responsibility for nothing save face don't stick your head too far above the crowd toe the line get it right ask no questions just accept Dawn and microscopic particles explode into a new dimension how cruel we humans are tearing things apart Hollow article Miss you Down beat Crazy desperate instability blues no one knows we don't exist love me baby hold me baby do me this and do me that and what is ultimately left alzheimer's and a faded photograph somewhere trodden on the street off in a garbage heap and the never remembered you the never remembered them only history remembers history and individuals succumb like dying sperm into a broken womb dark ages expanding sun no present to communicate through past events ...darkly cheques i write cheques because they don't want me to i have a rotary phone because they don't want me to i pay no attention to the status quo i pay attention to myself i like marinated herring i like smoked eel (i mistyped "sliked ell" which i find more fitting) i listen to the stones slow blues confront me i watch whale music the day the earth stood still i drink red bourgogne gogne pronounce that this is a symphony for 'ell's sake saké won't do get a burning vine christ in an autumn fog smoke of sacrifice burnt offering twin towers to another god held captive by human thought the gods are dead don't you know the present gods are politicians and terrorists ludwig on napoleon eroika fields of gentle breezes golden flowers covering rotting corpses and no one sees the earth in all its splendour small blue orb dribble by religion into a hoop score one for the stupid score one for the powerful score one for the mindless score one for you and me dismembered of rationality and hope trick or treat on halloween why wear masks when you have a message legitimate? why wear masks at all? II So Ludwig had a thing about his sister-in-lay (law) sick twisted as he was he still had curly hair ...on his head frozen ear and ivory fingers defiant to the end Ludwig was the peeping tom to our hearts minds digging in our souls a thousand shovels in each brain digging digging digging what we may not know and he ain't police desperate semi-human gadgets twisted tuned manipulated to whatever rules the sanction validates they hate you one day love you the next when the "law" changes they don't think i don't like people who don't think you can't talk to them they don't talk to you they have a mission to destroy I am just a human being bread upon this planet sinking dust trying to make certainty of what is not i am star i am star i am a broken member from afar a string does not connect we break we break "just like a little girl" in the comfort of humanity strutting like a giant ant across the raw domain of insecurity Hold on Hold on Hold on the wire is a slingshot and the forest rides upon the moss of live grenades London harbours rape my mind and 9/11 never happened in another time line we are here because we have to be there is no solution otherwise hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah death destruction and more pain revel in salvation the lord is just the lord is just the lord is just when rich nations seem to need HIM most SHE is never there to argue and combat SHE is MARY MAGDALEN SARAH EVE and whomever else she washes feet she spits out children she OBEYS her HUSBAND she is silent she is PURE she is everything for GOD's sake she's a WHORE She's a woman She's a slave Make no mistake she's always been a slave a slave with power over men never realized WOMEN RULE THE WOLRD THROUGH SEX and the shelter they provide their offspring Men just form 'pretend' societies socialize in wolf garb and howl at the moon Women keep the world alive Women keep the world alive Women keep the world ALIVE Monks like me just write it down to let the cat out of the bag and the cat's out of the bag the cat's out of the bag the cats out chasing mice the cat's out chasing mice we say very nice nice nice nice woman in a vice lots of men advise what will happen when men cannot pretend women in the end women in the end spare the rod for men III What is God's purpose? Dante made a mess Popes are rarely blessed Does one ever live next to holiness? IV since 1-1 cannot = 0 and since zero can't exist so Where did we begin how did we begin since everything we do is in the past what is the present is there a present this is the enigma nothing out of nothing is still nothing but out of nothing something came whether next to us or some divine being it makes no sense we exist we are here yet we cannot be here or anywhere else but we exist plain and simple we exist the universe exists the beyond the universe exists the beyond that exists and so forth so forth so forth what is forever? what is never? what is what can never be but is? "I think, therefore I am" Maybe that's all there is Maybe thought is light Maybe thought is nothing I'm just human...I sure don't know... and if God, or Buddha, or Allah, or whatever ants call their gods...and if that God knows I bow to him or her or them because I don't think they would know either Maybe a quark does Maybe a quark just exists and doesn't care how or when or why dark dark matter things that can't be seen but a butterfly sees things differently and we are just amazed at the beauty of its wings Why must we be gods and never the beauty or the truth why must we be false aromas because we smell no flowers why must we be darkness because we hate the light why must we be anything but ourselves naked the way we are... hope is not a radiance hope is simple forwardness two cellos darkness death and love unison then counter measure slow like indecision but decision nonetheless hope beyond a loss loss beyond a hope where do we begin end where do we belong what are we are we that other planet we search for probably we are not ourselves we are someone else something else we may never even be in a stolen moment of eternity woodwinds nature hope future future mess conglomerate or personal public private communicable contained the human virus spreads its curse across a moldy planet heathened by a trembling sun today we might exist tomorrow never knows 666 WORD SYMPHONY II (Refer: Beethoven Symphony V) "The Rant" "The Lie by Sir Walter Ralegh Go, Soul, the body's guest, Upon a thankless errand; Fear not to touch the best; The truth shall be thy warrant: Go, since I needs must die, And give the world the lie. Say to the court, it glows And shines like rotten wood; Say to the church, it shows What's good, and doth no good: If church and court reply, Then give them both the lie. Tell potentates, they live Acting by others' action; Not loved unless they give, Not strong but by a faction. If potentates reply, Give potentates the lie. Tell men of high condition, That manage the estate, Their purpose is ambition, Their practice only hate: And if they once reply, Then give them all the lie. Tell them that brave it most, They beg for more by spending, Who, in their greatest cost, Seek nothing but commending. And if they make reply, Then give them all the lie. Tell zeal it wants devotion; Tell love it is but lust; Tell time it is but motion; Tell flesh it is but dust: And wish them not reply, For thou must give the lie. Tell age it daily wasteth; Tell honour how it alters; Tell beauty how she blasteth; Tell favour how it falters: And as they shall reply, Give every one the lie. Tell wit how much it wrangles In tickle points of niceness; Tell wisdom she entangles Herself in overwiseness: And when they do reply, Straight give them both the lie. Tell physic of her boldness; Tell skill it is pretension; Tell charity of coldness; Tell law it is contention: And as they do reply, So give them still the lie. Tell fortune of her blindness; Tell nature of decay; Tell friendship of unkindness; Tell justice of delay: And if they will reply, Then give them all the lie. Tell arts they have no soundness, But vary by esteeming; Tell schools they want profoundness, And stand too much on seeming: If arts and schools reply, Give arts and schools the lie. Tell faith it's fled the city; Tell how the country erreth; Tell manhood shakes off pity And virtue least preferreth: And if they do reply, Spare not to give the lie. So when thou hast, as I Commanded thee, done blabbing-- Although to give the lie Deserves no less than stabbing-- Stab at thee he that will, No stab the soul can kill." ca.1592 I First contact shadow clone of generations waves of grass across the plains of madness blood red green the lie appeals to those who know so much they know nothing hollow trumpet where the world begins where the world must end where the less than being was contained Hope is such a monstrous thing it ties us to a stake on an ant hill in the middle of nowhere desert island Caliban's soup made of straw We are not the "hollow men" we are hee-haw jackasses bellowing in a twisted hurricane They never wanted us to contact them they were content to be civilized in their ritual savagery After all they had gods where every natural occurrence was sacred Then we came along WE CAME ALONG WE ASSAULTED THEM we who took our right from GOD for GOD and we forced them to repent FOR WHAT? for being savage not like us? we who claim no innocence but blame it on a woman our fall not theirs so we we who fear the most fell them what hollow madness is this what hollow victory must we always vindicate ourselves blame others for our madness how Baraka would smile and Zarathustra would look upon the world and argue back again his argument and join Lear in a dark damp cave Remember how the werewolf anticipates your every move and rips your soul apart that is us 3/4 of the world lives in poverty and we count pennies and even deny ourselves because we've become so greedy we count pennies bottom line not each other not ourselves we've become the books not the book keeper bureaucracy we cannot question set of rules no one wants to challenge cold uncompromising hollow we've become a video game...(trite) click here click there ride the wave kill the target no big deal they feel for those who do not feel but who are they from one point they are us from our point they are them and no one gives a damn as long as the money rolls in as long as politicians can afford to grin it's strange i want to hear oboes now woodwinds quiet meadows brushed by calm breezes spring flowers yellow gold and purple strange i want a movement to begin that tells me there is something else than a calculated entity replacing our humanity at war at war at war we are they tell us with whom? "you hit Greco" "Greco hits me" "what profit's in that?" "we need a stable government." or some such thought from Star Trek our Shakespeare... and come years from now, a legacy we probably managed to achieve to what detriment? II Longius Spear Hitler Hate split open the debate no one wants al qaeda twin towers no escape saladin jerusalem templars holy blood and holy grail henry the 8th how else could a king top a pope? sometimes silly sometimes mad for the real to recycle nature must be mad indeed nature recycles EVERYTHING one atom makes many humans are a plague parasites upon a rock obsessive digging makes a lock upon the human brain nothing there an ant can't gather greater substitution lollipops for ak47s i'm sure the moderate would lick their lips luxury in place -- blow it up i have a nice home; family -- blow it up i get a great education -- which teaches me to blow it up I am not like you I enjoy your comforts just ain't the way I think blow it up hey...life's an adventure and that's the truth... why go on living in fear you might die anyway...why fear once you're dead you'll never know it only those who survive spread revenge III When I was young i looked up at the stars from a garret in Cuxhaven, Germany West Germany then, Cold war hate misinformation and wondered what was out there but what was there is here and that took a long time to congeal we have made a mess of things because we do not see and because we do not see we only see the tether not the rope we only see the regulations not the hope we are creatures of fear and the more we fear the more rules we make to constrain ourselves We are ruled by fanatics and fanatics will use every means to gain control In the mid-east, it might be religion in the west, it's more psychology to dehumanize catalogue label us make us "other" we see it every day we are categories to the police to politicians and Freud just smiles from his silly grave no penis to erect his twisted fame upon As a child I saw the universe a great adventure as an adult I see the curse of earth and how twisted minds refuse to see money goods and labour nothing else matters to them they don't see the universe and wonder anymore they just see the profit in their enterprise and would kill everything to get it they enslave everyone whether by communism dictatorship or democracy all the same systems to control individuals and stifle individual thought there are no "criminals" there are just those who break the rules and to treat everyone like dirt is an injustice to the human race I don't know what the future will hold Maybe an asteroid will kill everything on earth tomorrow maybe Bruce Willis will save us I have no way of knowing No crystal ball can cast such bold reflection refraction or solution and who knows what the Bilderbergs talk about with their secret meetings and dark security sure makes a case for secret societies and conspiracies and whatever else they refuse to tell us-- that we've been duped for centuries maybe even millennia is our conjecture but governments couldn't function without covert operations that's always been a fact and we are duped into thinking otherwise ultimately there is no communism no dictatorships and no democracy there is just the ruling class them and us they tell us what we "need" to know they tell us we can't tell them anything what's best for us is best for them as long as they decide what's best as a child there was wonder in the universe in nature in others every moment was an adventure a discovery then adulthood struck and rules became the measure don't do this and don't do that and why is not a valid question no longer allowed to decide for one's self what's right or wrong to trust one's own judgment as a child I trusted my judgment was wrong many times and learned grew stronger because of it common sense prevailed laws have no common sense common sense needs reason and reason needs trust in others to concur laws need no concurrence just statistics and psychology expertise those with degrees are smarter than those without end of discussion that's the law they allow us to read orwell because they know we won't see it coming well we didn't and it's here As a child I had hope in the future as an adult I just wish to be a child again not today but yesterday IV selected genocide selected judgment selected knowledge selected eyes all-pervasive government where's the microchip beneath our skin not yet but soon will be to get a birth certificate regulated lived outlined in a manual deviants are not allowed the ministry of control demands we be the same "for the common good" and as for entertainment keep us entertained with all the things we cannot do roman society thirst for blood abated by the games that's what TV's all about or beheadings "over there" humiliation's another thing the public courts lived and reputations ruined where found guilty or not it's a tabloid society bakes the melting pot what would they think coming here unannounced how are we prepared to speak to them without guns or heavy armour our fear betrays our words of peace and bravery war is sane if we strike first immoral if they protect themselves how can we be gods in judgment without understanding what they seek do not talk to them but kill do not understand them but destroy the evil is not in fear the evil is in words manipulated phrases twisted logic right and wrong thinking covert politics christmas eve ww one soldiers on both sides singing christmas carols and then they stopped meeting on a soggy field soaked in the death of many and shared a cup of coffee smiles and common bonds the next day they were fighting no longer human beings but soldiers shackled to their "duty" Lester Pearson said On Front Page Challenge: "My favourite Christmas was the one in 1940--middle of the blitz when a bomb exploded just outside my window shattering the glass but else did little damage I went over to drown out the noise of the falling bombs by turning the radio to the German shortwave (which i had been listening to) and found the most beautiful Christmas carols coming from the same source that brought us this terrible destruction and I thought that if we just could understand what gave us this beautiful music and this terrible destruction from the same source we might just be able to understand how to envelop peace..." And lest we forget humanity is reason society is common sense politics too often mirror insanity I fear 6614 WORD SYMPHONY III (Refer: Mahler Symphony I) "Remembrance" I My father had an apple orchard in Stickenbuettel suburb of Cuxhaven after the war where I flew kites which got tangled in the twisted trees and where one tree gave three different flavoured apples my father also kept rabbits which he treated cruelly and I was mad at that I could never see any creature harmed I was five or six rhubarb and peas carrots and tomatoes kartoffel and cabbages whatever else the ground was dark and rich with nutrients even after my father came to Canada he had a green thumb and had the most amazing garden where no neighbour could grow anything I would ride on the handle bars of my father's bike as we rode through the rural streets early Saturday morning the old oak trees lining the cobblestone streets and friends saying guten morgen the men tipping their hats and the women nodding it was a civil atmosphere after so much destruction 10 years on and the bunkers no one could dismantle still a concrete monument to a time no one dared even whisper about let alone believed had happened Hitler was a solid wonder in 1933 with the communists about to take Europe the populace inflamed with economic hate and tribulations rationalized their plight and took the "lesser" evil history would judge the "greater" but history is hindsight and hindsight rationalizes differently thinking it knows all the angles we can be wrong at both ends my father never spoke about the war he was wounded near Stalingrad my mother told of torture and said it was not right but things as they were a gun at one's temple is not conducive to free speech we lived first in a new housing development row houses cobbled yards between developments no trees and where the kids played soccer after school I once stuck my finger in an open electrical socket behind a chair and got myself electrocuted but I survived although my mother turned a shade of white I had never seen before my father remained stoic he's ok we've got work to do I have a picture of me and my parents and our spaniel Bingo I looked all of five but couldn't have been older than three judging from the years we lived there that always bothered me because there was a rumour that I was not my parents' child but adopted but I have my maternal grandfather's disposition to drink and his receding hairline and I hope his intellectual ability (though somewhat squandered after all he was the only school master in his village and deciding to build a youth orchestra learned all the instruments himself--so I've been told by my mother--so he could teach the kids) he died one day after the doctor told him to quit drinking so he decided to clean the attic fell down the stairs and broke his neck I like to tell my doctor this to show him how ridiculous our present faith in regimental health has become If die we must at least let us live a good life a lengthy life without a purpose is just wasted i guess others probably won't think so and they have that right although with today's bombardment and preaching I sometimes wonder how we ever survived to get here without knowing what we seem to know now anyway we moved from there to william heitzig strasse between a mill and an apartment building into a garret on the 3rd floor across from the hotel concordia where the sailors used to bring their girls there I had my happiest childhood memories and my worst my father had just opened his own barber shop next to a slaughterhouse in a small deadened street Cuxhaven then as now was the out port of Hamburg servicing the ocean liners and large ships that couldn't negotiate the Elbe safely and also was a fishing port for trawlers fishing off the shoals of newfoundland before my father opened his barber shop he worked as a security guard by the alte liebe i used to accompany him at night sometimes and we would check the freight trains and jump into a boat and check the harbour for any smuggling activity - sometimes it frightened me - other times I was ok I was only six or seven and it all was a dark and deep adventure to a little boy - sometimes I was left with some of the women working the bars when things got too rough and they always treated me as if a favourite son...sometimes they would bring me home...the smell of beer and their bodies always remained with me strange to end up in a land where this is frowned upon anyway I used to bring my father his lunch which Bingo held in his mouth stopping by the smoked fish booth on the way where they always had something special for Bingo and me it was such an adventure and all the folks on the way knew us and there were no safety issues for a little kid like there are now--dirty old men were tolerated and kids knew just how to handle them it's a sad society we live in these days where kids are unable to experience the freedom i did but then there was the darker side no one spoke about the landlord baby sitting and the things I saw guess they all left an impression but we dealt with it-revenge is such a killer so my father brought me home some of the display tubes from his shop window that I wanted I couldn't understand why there was nothing in them and they looked as if the real deal they were so fragile and i treated them as air one day my father took me to see rumplestilskin at the local theatre half way through I cried and wanted out of there it made me sad and when I was home and safe there was music on the radio and i asked my parents is that mozart beethoven schubert although i had never herd that music before and certainly not the names after all i was all of six years old and my parents were amazed after that each sunday afternoon i sat before the radio in our tiny living room listening listening gathering instinctively what i understood was me it was a magic time my parents seemed to be happy my mother cooking in the small kitchen gas stove (the most modern) my own room and the sink in the hallway where sometimes we pissed when the shared toilet down the stairs was occupied I would have to drag a chair close to do so but managed and then the day I fell down two flights of stairs and got knocked out they thought I broke my neck but was ok kids are so resilient but I made the most of it and got to stay home from school for a number of days and when i couldn't sleep my mother would give me brandy in warm milk to soothe my nerves as recommended by our doctor different days and different ways I would play with Bingo in the yard and he would jump the cast iron fence dividing the property from the warehouse next door and when i was too busy with school Bingo would bring my father his lunch he would later be the only dog given a citation by the city for civil service when we came to canada we left him behind with the neighbours and he died soon afterwards although the neighbours pretended he was fine I remember my mother crying hysterically when she found out at the time we were living on Nelson Street in Ottawa a run down semi duplex where we sheltered several stray cats My mother always loved animals she could never see them hurt she once when we were living on Wilbrod Street went to claim one of her cats stolen for university experiments and tore into the institution and released every creature captive there she got her cat back but the cat was never the same shaven head and embedded electrodes she wandered away one night never to be seen again my mother got a write-up in the Ottawa Journal I was saddened to the bottom of my heart a most wonderful cat destroyed because of human greed After my father left for Canada... (incidentally on my 9th birthday birthdays i never celebrate to this day my mother held a party for me and i was ringed by my friends singing birthday songs and ran away to my bedroom i cry at parties till this day) but before that i was hit at school by my teacher frau beschorner for being late to class and knocked to the floor --teachers were allowed to hit kids those days-- (discipline was everything in German schools) I recovered sat at the back disgraced and told my mother when I got home she alerted the authorities and I was taken to Hamburg for a psychiatric examination playing with the puzzles i remember the doctor being furious "this child should never have been brought here" and then the fuss began I was somehow special with a high IQ... these parents are not smart enough to care for him etc... switzerland a special school for gifted kids... no wonder my parents left the country... but obviously that wasn't all of it my parents argued didn't get along and i was left alone that night the days were hollow and my father sent gifts plastic airplanes which i shared with friends and the ocean voyage with my mother in July after a doctor said that I wd die if I didn't see my father - bunch of hokey made up by my mother which haunted me for years Sea sick and some fun Columbus on the lamb Kids will have their fun everywhere they go II Canada Diefenbaker Prime Minister Quebec City Shack by the harbour Photograph My mother crying Leaving civilization behind isn't easy Montreal was better my father met us drove us to Ottawa one room on Cobourg Street blankets on the floor arguments a child just doesn't care a child wants to feel secure this was no security Moved to Nelson street (first of many moves) Hottest august on record my mother draped all windows with wet bed sheets couldn't believe the heat thought the world was burning up and from my room i could hear their arguments at night I was placed in a German diplomatic school out of place and desperate for friends these kids were German specialty they would go back home I was nothing to them and I would have to stay I objected to what I can't remember but i objected and was disciplined I recall my mother furious trying to call the embassy on a shared phone shouting at the other caller to get off the line with that I was placed in a public school osgood public school year of nuke alerts hide in basement under desks don't look at the light great year for kids i was placed one year back for my age because i couldn't speak the lingo but still made friends fast and learned the lingo in a month they gave me a signed edition of Stevenson's Rhymes for Children which was my first introduction to poetry I was all of ten years old We moved several times Once because the landlord on Nelson street was a Jew from Stalingrad where his family had been butchered and he blamed my father there was a moment a gun may have been involved but no harm came to either and we moved to Wilbrod Street and there I was frightened with a mask after a party and left alone one night and invited some girls up 11-year olds we found out can't do too much when afraid of being caught We weren't there long moved back to Nelson Street after my father and the landlord reconciled that winter i skated in the park and did some pre-extreme sports down the steep slope on Nelson Street same winter i first fell in love and had a broken heart when a friend stole her away from me same year polly came cat adopted us and stayed the next five years memories of high snow friends and I was happy there then we moved again when my father became the manager of a barber shop in Elmvale Acres to our own house in the suburbs i went to elmvale public school became a crossing guard and help flood the rink in winter even played baseball and was called out when i slid into first base but then made a game winning save in left field and all was forgiven i also had my first girlfriend and you know can't even remember her name...such is old age and memory but i do recall her features and when we lay together on the floor before the fireplace looking at my stamp collection the same year we had an ice storm on my birthday in april and in june drove to new york in out buick 55 what a car 120 and no vibration on the interstate we visited relatives in flushing ny with a replica ship bay in their basement they had a teenage daughter i fell in love of course she didn't notice me 12 years old so I sulked in the car on the dark street they came and got me said never to do that again because it's not safe the first time i heard those words next day I got lost on the subway and the cops had to find me the view from the empire state building was as they say these days awesome the way down was weird two fast elevators and almost weightlessness getting back a funny incident when the owner of the house we were renting tried to replace a picture window and it broke over his head that year I met david parton who lived a few blocks down future poet doctor and member of the group writing songs and playing long into the night but that was later first we moved again to Nelson Street and then to our own house on Atwater I was 14 then and we had rex our german shepard and polly had left us in the interim when we lived in the white house across from elmvale shopping centre where i grew up got kicked out of bible school for asking too may questions and stayed home from school for three days when kennedy was assassinated history is more important my mother told the school for an excuse 13 then it made a formative impression into country music then the beatles hit III beatlemania who would have thought of that they passed through Cuxhaven and molded themselves in Hamburg the north sea salt air does that to people it's rough and rock and roll has no escape but to surf the tide i didn't like them when they first appeared didn't think they were "the ultimate" that had to wait until the stones rolled with their first album in a friend's basement where the playboy poster on the wall was a great distraction this was on a new suburban development and disregarding the workman's shack filled with nudie posters and other plastered images we were a fairly good bunch of andrenolized boys we even had a haunted house we dared ourselves into and one night a friend camping cut an axe into his arm thinking it was someone else trying to injure him just regular suburbanites kids down the street had a nascent rock group going father had a barber shop on kilborne avenue burnt down one year but that later and i played gibson in my front yard or chess with constable heirhoff down the street indeed a lot of cops lived there their kids i thought were potential criminals beaten up once and battered by planks in a field they called me queer...said we hate your guts...and when i told my parents they confronted them and were told no way...and all of 16 i was beaten up both by them and my own because, they said, I embarrassed them. I learned that moment the law is always right. I learned that moment lies prevail if corruption infiltrates. and the jams continued...dave and i had a good group wrote some good songs...good poems and sucked the beatles up and i the isb or blues project i still think was the most advanced group in the early 60s and then zimmerman and i left the academic world for my own indiscretion... barber school ... three months over winter business...accounting and even literature arguing shakespeare keats and poe... but then Ottawa won the Grey Cup that year as they would the next...and Bobby Fisher won the crown of pawns against more pawns...and I was locked in a room forgiving a few past years with buddha's blessed understanding well...maybe not...picasso died that year and I painted some good canvasses and wrote some shitty poetry... i was learning, one of the surviving members of the group of seven told me...too stupid to know the worth of that then I used to think my blue journals meant everything but now they're in my closet falling apart ... I used to read them once in a while but the gates done closed and today seems more important than decades ago...did i do things right then... who knows...all i know is i survived to reach this point and where that leads how can anyone know...death tomorrow... years from now...fate has a nefarious attraction i just write the poem...you are the reader...you decide what's good for you or what you can intake...it's a wonder we can share what's in the mess we make. I guess life belongs to that genus "common mistake". There's no other reason for it. Why would I think otherwise hoping for mistakes, and a common solution? IV and here we are a monkey's paradise dogs howling fools paring what noise is there to make to get ears hearing what flash to get eyes seeing what blast to shake the mind that we are all the same experiencing the same feeling the same vulnerabilities the same aches and pains we all are young we all grow old then what is it that short circuits us into believing we are different and somehow have to change the world it can't be that difficult we've all seen the earth from the moon so what's preventing us to be alike what's preventing us to talk to each other what's preventing us to shake hands 6614 WORD SYMPHONY IV (Refer: Mahler Symphony IV) "The Denial" I Jesus never died for us he died for himself Reprise I was thrown out of bible school for asking too many questions I was 12 I wore a silver leather jacket they did not approve of and they complained we (my parents and I), did not give enough in donations So I was told not to come back unless I changed my attitude and accept their teachings The same winter I collapsed foolishly not wearing a hat in mid-winter almost collapsing from the cold -- In bed a week recuperating our doctor said to get rid of all the fossils on my shelves -- not hygienic he said I still miss the fossil footprint I found when they built St. Laurent Blvd And once got stuck in the mud when I tried to negotiate the artificial hills We were living in the White House then with Polly across from Elmvale Shopping Centre It was also when I stole a Playboy from the local pharmacy and stupidly brought it back because I didn't think it was right to steal - of course got caught - they told my dad and banned me from the store I was 12 years old...what's a kid to do? no one ever remembers "young" adults embrace a universe all their own so we throw the key away and never again think about it... heaven wasn't made for that and neither was the world a key element we never thought about was continuity life goes on it doesn't stop even when someone breaks the law we seem to think punishment is a deterrent well it's not emotions can't be stopped feelings can't be stopped cravings can't be stopped and how do you regulate a mindless urge? you can't we can just say you do that and this is the punishment but none of that deters and don't mention what statistics rot manipulated for the populace for jokes to be reelected my cats on the Hill know who's right or wrong too many people find themselves lost scrounging for a sane commitment to a world they never knew or will sad in desperation I don't know what to do with them broken on the sidewalk drugs ravaging their veins and who would want to grasp their hand unwashed possibly diseased and say I care There's a world out there lucrative that we don't know about slaves upon our master's prowl it's a silent insecurity we have accepted praise the lord and forever shut your trap No one likes those who ask "improper questions" especially in a public forum that's reserved for those who rule I was reading Zarathrustra in my high school library and I asked what it was about confused in my teenage mind about the philosophical embellishments told not to read that read what's good for you grade nine ask your teacher what to read this is not for you i read it at home without their supervision and got a hell of a head start to sanity than they'd profess It's like I see a woman's vagina and I know instinctively what to do and now there are all these regulations telling me that sex's ok if I follow all these rules Just a man I lay me down into a grave of inability uncertainty a thousand years ago we never would have survived had we rules like this... I guess one never knows unless one opens up and sees beyond the means of those who cut our values to the minimum they spoke about adam and eve cain and abel i asked rather naively incest the roof they landed on was shocked that was before kennedy was murdered by the mob and the beatles crawled out of hamburg's slums a different time doors were still unlocked and neigbours had no enemy but the odd skunk and desperate cat high on hormones but the world was locked in a desperate struggle nukes and vietnam we watched assassinations on tv and schools were bare and simple in their survival i was german called a nazi then saluted and clicked my heels to make them laugh got disciplined for that got disciplined always for something they didn't like funny that i thought what stupidity to deny an open mind watching gibson's jesus now blood and guts and gore they did a better job with the creature of the black lagoon jesus thrashed to hell and two thieves still pristine debating what was happening most stupid movie i ever saw and some would cry in desperation thinking fantasy is real others threw up raptured this is god? i frolic in the jungle of purport everything is nature and if i don't watch my step i get eaten such is life we have forgotten such is life we have refused II so what does one thing have to do with another kill an insect deliberately and your grandchild might die prematurely and with that the world may change we all have that power and we advance it every day we command our future and everyone else's as they command ours a plant a flower a desperate struggle to survive it's a potent legacy in a universe so vast or maybe so small we don't want to think about how do we measure scale an ant is small compared to us but has a regulated society who can say we are more advanced just because we've had more weapons of destruction ants must have a justice system because I've seen ants kill other ants so what's their conversation like do they have a god -- of course not silly thought only we have gods and sometimes only one looking at the universe i despair not because we cannot understand it but because we refuse to we are a simple pond with frogs a-plenty only the frogs are us weapons of human destruction we kill ourselves with ignorance From a fan:(sic) "I cant believe what your saying. The best poets in the world don´t volunteer their services, otherwise they wouldn't be the best in the world. Sorry I'm a writer and that means that I write for money. Not a volunteer, an intern, a charity worker or a charitable organisation. When I go to the supermarket I have to pay for things. I don’t ask the people there to volunteer their services and goods, anyway if I did I’d be laughed at. Which just about sums about my present response to your ´offer´. I'm working to make money for you and you shouldn’t pretend that our relationship is about art or aesthetics or poetry. You can of course pretend such a thing but your pretence isn't fooling anyone. If your website can survive and thrive then you can afford to pay the authors you publish, even if its just a token amount. The reason you don’t is because of one single thing: greed. That's all. You can afford to pay the people you publish but you don't because your a greedy bastard who doesn't want to pay for anything. You want other people to do everything for you. I'm sorry but I'm not getting involved any further with you. There is no such thing as a free ride or a free meal ticket." I just smile I have to smile I am forced to smile Wood knocks on wood Brains knock on fear.... III Voices I dream voices I dream words I dream visuals I dream epics I dream futures I dream harmony I dream destruction I dream in colour I dream serials I dream connectivity I dream hope I dream escape I dream a different life I dream a different reality I dream what you can't I dream my own reality sometimes when we sleep our world becomes complete the outer shell flakes off and we are what we seek tongue in cheek maybe there's a further level we've not understood or just didn't have a ladder to like a pyramid in Bosnia great slabs of stone man-made or just a freak of nature do we gather only the evidence we want or do we ignore a fallacy hard to say we write history the way we want it perceived never how it was and never how it is jesus never died for us take a moment to reflect on judas' role without him none of this would be so is the act an evil or a blessing the bread and silver are as one one does not exist without the other is the antidote a poison or the other way around the puppet play continues as the modern changes the past the past must change the modern but who pulls the strings jesus never died for us we had him die for us we made him what he is not what he was Marx said religion is the opiate of the people so is politics then methadone no hope either way the need to get to the top of the ladder is a power unlike any other manipulation not participation those opposed will not be tolerated don't ever think there's a free press there isn't freedom is a werewolf howling at the moon come dawn they all wear ties and suits and no one knows a thing so I hear voices they don't like shut me up discredit me kill me if you must and you will kill me that's the nature of the beast and yes there is a 666 there is a secret cabal there is a grand conspiracy they don't even hide any longer the bilderbergs are here the bilderbergs are here and if they can keep their secrets anybody can we are just the little men little people the others those who pay your rent serfs slaves call us what you will beethoven rammed your door refusing to be a servant anymore mozart bowed like shit wasn't that enough they've prepared us longer than we think radio tv novels even video games star trek especially ever thought how most of what was there is now but one thing never told is 84 is here we never noticed it we were drugged by a fantasy lotus land of the mind where the future obscures the present and none of this exists 1-1 cannot equal 0 blind sockets to an over-ripe sun we will never get to number one how much we try to rectify botched reasoning wall after wall after wall wailing dry or crumbling but granite walls exist steady in support of some clear omnipotent sign comes once on a clear day and never comes again as the cop repents into a dogma of discipline and reaps the wayward sheep with cop means (before psychology was faith) and holds a wand over all like a great magician HE will come again HE did not flee HE died upon the cross Pure in body and in thought Women may have swaddled him but they were only human only later were they allowed to wash his wounds as a wife would do Rabbi they called him the Talmud states No man can be a Rabbi unless he is a family man meaning married legally under Jewish law Saul then Paul said NOT but Paul was Roman Jesus Jew (I keep asking through all of this who the hell was "He who will be called Emmanuel"?) Certainly wasn't Jesus. (Maybe Judas?) Must have been someone else, Maybe "The son of the father" Barabbas Set free on that fated night that saw Judas throw pennies in the gutter hang himself and the rock deny the "saviour" three times before the cock crowed so how important was Jesus to rouse the head rabbi from sleep and the king? and why were they so adamant for his crucifixion? was he maybe the real king real pretender to the throne of judah? that would be the only solid reason to get rid of him but maybe i am dreaming lotus land realities (so there are no pyramids in europe north america or china? - we have not exactly been blessed with open observation have we?) my cat sleeps on the sofa curled up and comfortable in his world i am at my computer writing this and maybe writing cryptic missals to those who wish to be -- just like me but the hope of any future is the madness of its artists poets writers visionaries those called seer then or shaman eating sacred mushrooms or smoking strong tobacco drinking cocoa was another high we've accepted mushrooms much too powerful not a sedative a jolt into the future thus hallucinogens are banned they reveal something of our unstable mind they loosen us give the poet breath forced to choke in a closed mind we ban things that make us unproductive or give us the truth in politics the lie is always given and we are smiled upon tolerated money-makers for the powerful and rich there I've said it take me in control restrain me I who dare the speak the truth You are shadow-insignificance Yet you survive because your name is GOD and my cat sleeps contented on my broken scratched-up sofa knowing nothing of the outer world of human desperation he just eats and purrs his life away and we don't purr and we don't eat at least the way we should government gathers on us tents us lest we escape they shame us into wanting what they want democracy/dictatorship it's all the same just a different guy at the top same secret agents same police same war machine (the one with money wins) and so they pulled Jesus to his cross (funny they left Gautama, the Buddha alone) and then of course Mohammed (this will get me killed) raped and ravaged Arabia in a final conquest in the name of GOD/ALLAH The name of Abraham The name of Jesus (prophet) The name that can't be mentioned (Cover up - your name is Shame) Thus we rape our women Thus control our men thus we fulfill our "purpose" thus "we will not sin" so slit any throat that disagrees with "us" "we are perfect" "god is peace" "we kill in the name of god" "we revel in the blood" from Nepal to Burma from the Middle East to Iraq from Afghanistan where they let the poppies grow because the economy would collapse not where we believe but in the great U.S. because the underground controls the show Bin Laden's daughter in New York pursuing an acting career says she talks to her father every day his sons are in major "American" universities and they don't know where he is? just like they didn't know where the x gestapo officers were after the war as CIA agents? They just don't wanna capture him. 6.6 in a world of 5.5 he can't be THAT anonymous. WWB made space flight secure German technology So why wd no German and Japanese torture have benefited modern society (don't reveal a thing) My father (I said this before) was shot at Leningrad (he was just a barber) and my mother talked about torture and "they shouldn't have done that". That was in the dead of winter they paraded their Russian prisoners nude into snow-covered fields 30C below and dowsed them with cold water laughed and who would know... So we ignore the Japanese dousing bound prisoners same temperatures with water till they froze and then they wd break their legs no feeling till the agony of their death survived and still we mourn the six million and never the ten million in Russia (now our coveted partner [in crime]) and never the 100 million chinese (they don't look like us) and they say politics isn't racist politics categorizes dehumanizes and selectively controls the population what it thinks (and "it" is right the population is an "it" not a person or collection of persons...just an "it") why can't every death be murder why does it have to be them or us why do we refuse to talk we are murderers just like them they see us as the aggressors we see them as the aggressors they threaten us we obliterate them human understanding drops a notch no one talks no one understand the other bullets fly coffins lie draped in flags all a lie give them all the lies they want "give them all the lie" war will never be over till the last one dies IV the united states afghanistan iraq iran north korea hitler made a mess the burning bush does more justified aggression preemptive they call it now and the laws are suspended profiling detention without charge even torture justified (but within human means) sound familiar but when did we ever listen to the screams they are them and we are us we are right and they, of course, are wrong so we kill them notice we don't talk give ultimatums but that's not talk they're out to get us we get them no one wants to know what the other side's about both at fault but then war is big business why melt it down funny (sad really) what we did to american natives and we drag confession on our knees for 6 million killed in one world war and give nothing for the multitude trampled on to create "democracy" they can't participate we kill we destroy and it's ok they kill they destroy it's evil where's the line who's the judge is one life worth more than another is one crime less than the other selective dialogue Spot on the wall waiting Max exploring the ladies' washroom and me getting water for the colony selective dialogue all is well ritual sunrise flag full staff soldiers dying in Afghanistan their war not ours and the night is lonely to survive everybody cries everybody hurts sometime sometime all the time all the time we cannot grieve all the time we fall and cannot get up again without another's help every time we reach out and nothing's there scary ain't it to cry when no one hears to die alone when no one's there and they want us to believe there's a higher cause a new level of insanity i have embedded in my mind certain resonances of the future and the past of the non-existent present we grieve the world and its solution a billion years is just a microsecond no one cares about in the time-line of the universe we are already gone never having been resolved into a future it's a new level we must compromise to find a future and survival but we have a mess a drug called religion twisting us into a convolution i would have thought the great globe of our earth would have shook them to the core but mind control adjusts no one is allowed to think that is "our" control our greatest fear that others think for themselves outside the organization it's about control and "freedom" worse than anything is the worse control it tells us to believe and we believe because we have radio tv newspapers in short, we are "free" to pursue what they give us and we should be grateful for the gift chains rusted chains chains we cannot cast off 6626 WORD SYMPHONY V (Refer: Anything by Handel, or Borodin for that matter...Korngold goes to Hell here) "Sloth" I Sex I have always wondered why women wear skirts is it tells us " women are open" and men who wear pants have the decision to make to whip it out II so what's the fuckin problem world the president has sex with an intern still does his job what's the fuckin problem press before the war you kept it quiet used your discretion now it's embarrass the hell out of everyone III Fragment: People are NOT money They are Human beings -- everyone NOT resources But Individuals Not a collective institution Political correctness has gone too far IV Catullus I hate and love. Why? Bi. 6810 WORD SYMPHONY VI (Refer: Hoelderin; Goethe; Bach) "Virtu" I There's something to be said about angels who never cross your path like politicians who rule by not interfering in the order of things good thing bad thing I dunno there's harmony in everything might be a pyramid in Bosnia might be just a pile of rocks History will tell I guess Even distortions have a nest It's a wonderful arrangement knowledge and conjecture fact and hope purpose and commitment the micro and the scope I would hollow-think any desperation dervish-dance where the truth walks in you can cross the dust at Akhum and think to see the ark they won't let you like they tore down Jesus' grave in L'ang d'oc shepherd’s field where truth becomes a lie and the money tree develops Ygdrasil roots disgracing common human decency Life has become a desperate lie why why why just because the "politician rot" is the hottest item on the threshing floor Moses represents I do not believe in GOD I believe in a universe that is alive dynamic and secure as long as we have a common goal Right now we do not We falter and explain explain explain explain meaning nothing nothing nothing (repeat ad nauseum) How can I be anything unless you acknowledge me How can you be anything unless I believe in you Death that you envelop Destruction you fear but inflict on others Have you no morals left? Or are you just a political organization paper paper paper?... I wd suggest your paper paper paper becomes flesh flesh flesh and that flesh is yours who make these wars and killing you who have no conscience you who hide behind bombs I wish I could wipe the lot of you from the face of the earth you have no right to exist "Terrorist" or "respondent" you are all the same "Those who do not talk die in shame" I pity all of you for the barren earth you will inherit and who should be a pleasure unto yourselves? I say: masturbate among yourselves you will have no other II Two abandoned kittens on the hill PUBLICATION: The Ottawa Citizen DATE: 2006.08.16 EDITION: Final SECTION: City PNAME: City Editorial PAGE: B4 BYLINE: Klaus J. Gerken SOURCE: The Ottawa Citizen WORD COUNT: 213 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Don't leave kittens -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To the person who so thoughtlessly abandoned two small kittens near the cat sanctuary on Parliament Hill this week: You are wrong to think that abandoned cats will be readily accepted by the other cats in the colony or, in the case of kittens, find their way to the sanctuary in search of food. It takes the caregivers months to introduce a new cat into the colony, and in most cases newcomers will be chased away by the other cats. The caregivers take all abandoned cats to the Ottawa Humane Society -- if we can catch them. That is what you should have done in the first place. I might add, because of your thoughtless actions, I slipped and tumbled down the hill trying to catch your kittens. You have cost me bruised ribs, pulled muscles and other injuries. Unfortunately, the kittens were frightened by the crowds and had disappeared by the afternoon when I returned to look for them. I hope we will find them soon. If not, I am afraid to think of what terrible deaths await them, from starvation or from attacks by other wildlife. For more information and photos of the kittens, please check the Cats of Parliament Hill blog which is located at users.synapse.net/kgerken/CatsBlog.HTM. III There was hope when g-d made dust There was something lost when the d-v-l made hope Twice returned the d-v-l snickered Once lost g-d delivered Genesis Penises..the d-v-l laughed and Bob Zimmerman was the best alternative to whatever new g-d there was but Elvis made a good impression they're just waiting for the gospel like the Mormons gotta be waiting for whatever polygamist to return (may the earth fill up with those) May I be one the drunkard slobbers... He may indeed...get 20 girlfriend have 20 children and you'll be safe after all, you haven't "married" anyone so what the point? Sautonious had a laugh at that (and many other things)... just one emp made his life a mess else he wd have out stripped Juvenile with views of human decrement (living christians told us so) pointed fingers -- they do now human hollowness can never change gay gay gay straight straight straight ug ug ug - (Fred just barfed) I hold on Ulgliano leading down a dark and rugged path twisted harmony excited dreams windows to the world outside...shut it's mess out there dark sky coming better dig a shelter share with no one else there's a hot wind comin' and I won't be involved I'm just a fuckin' poet I now nothing of the worlds I just observe the sorrow of the children when those who make no peace can't explain explain what they challenge me explain yourselves i say just explain yourselves causes are not everything and children are the future of the world adults just have to die IV Penises hold breath Vaginas spurt... (a deliberate substitution) 6930 WORD SYMPHONY VII (Refer: REM - "He wears a dress on stage") I The kid just jumped off the cliff like a welterweight pounds a heavy and ends a ferret in a cave poised to stick the wood in mud and rev to one more night of everybody loves in a heated debate like a cross purpose deliberate candlesticks burning in the cinder-wood of harmony curtains swaying where the moon does not cross purpose with the waves of however dust manages on Mars a fear of hopelessness in man alone among the desert of the universe present is the curse we always feel from Dylan and the Dead or Freddy at the harbour drinking sailor songs smoke in lungs and Reeperbahn harmony where girls just come and go like fireflies pack of lies the underground is fully functional and the cops just disappear money's in the gutter everywhere... But I was brought up there and no harm done Gutter snipes were perfectly alright (there was a guiding light) and alcohol was everything after prim and proper post-war smaltz I don't see anything in History today can offer better...in fact we do it worse...we abandon people... Our own kind mean less and less A police state in the making? Already here. A welfare state in the offing? Already here. Health care denying the dying? Already here. What's not here is compassion Just a bunch of laws Black ink on a recycled piece of brown Paper...a politically correct thing to do...nothing's any different stabbing a wholesome truth in the back... Goo Goo cha joo... Yellow mustard...etc Have we begun to mellow? Bright eyes blue with hate? Never -- where's the nanny bound head and foot in yellow ribbon in the well? after all...we must be well. Something's gotta be done. Get the constable...bull... get whoever has his panties up. The judge maybe...but where's he/she coming from when shaving cream won't matter and the cat's out of the bag... (my almond tree just sagged) a shame we had to kill it - Port gets so expensive we had to opt for Sherry... not that it matters we hardly ever get sober enough to go to any pubs... Hitler was right you know, the Brits really are a laugh... and so commute the 'nucks... and off course the yellow ducks... from coast to coast we wave the red white flag and Dylan does his swagger and Jagger does his waggle and millions starve I argue I am inconsequential walk the streets alone have no telephone watch, record and listen gather information hope there is a reason hope it all makes sense II "Tattoo in his underpants" Corporate engineering hung by too much tape one fat tie too many give a woman rape hollow are the welters hollow are the studs women who have known me wash me in their suds Give me one more reason For nothing to be there Because if we had nothing I wouldn't really care Tripe o tripe the triple swift me in the gut the dagger is serrated and the blood just common blood My cat is in the alley Sees what's going on Holly-whore retreated And no one got it on There's always one reason For denials of the truth GC always kept it open mouth shut - broken tooth I haven't seen a dentist in many million years I'd rather chase a rabbit and play with rabbit ears... and my cat destroys whatever cummerbunds it holds in a final forced dimension nicked by d's mr. jones there's a public here ostrich opens up where I develop teeth sharks develop policy I no longer please to forsake one suicide is enuf I never cared for anyway Walk the streets at night praising shadows for their disaffect light bulbs blunder in the haze maze maze maze x amaze who we haunt is shadow-cream fluff pastries in a dream purposefully connected to a chain circle down the drain and remember truth is an allusion fulfils fate and purpose giant penises provide horse manure and the all too naked women swoon to g-spot archeology whether there's a pyramid where a mountain once existed women want real bread blood demands it and yet we glaze and yet we glaze... III Do you know where this is coming from? God rides my bicycle I don't ride never learned friend tried to get me tumbled, bike and all, into a cesspool... 8 year old has wisdom don't deny what we have to say as "children" that's disinformation tools like artificial claws broken clocks forced by labour to give time maybe just a dinosaur out of step what was I thinking when understood? I was perfectly level when the plunger twisted and became a wind no fart could improve upon nothing in this wine-time window where we never where blood confusion dirty game nigger votes when we are lame give me something tame IV where the tiger is are the herbs of good and we will never find a solution because we hate too much it's a simple mantra of reflection when the bottle's empty we either solidify our dreams or go to sleep and the many dreams I've had are sometimes more my life than what you (the reader) comprehends i can't be more promiscuous than rant reflects the truth and sir walter stones a whole society wherefore Pound confined to cage writing cantos in his head there's a welfare poets can't accept no matter how lucrative the bow to whatever latest prize I slumber in solution Autumn leaves upon the ground There was a moment I can't recall before insanity now our norm happenstance gathered where a silly substitution wrought a mask and fairy tales are daily news obscured by history and ignorance mounted on indifference the hill where shallow walked and history refused again to make a purchase at the penny store (i came for you before she said i said yes and where's the universe between your eyes?) and where it gets it where it goes snow upon a penis hotwired with vagina there's a history out there long lost we have forgotten what we are... Mozart slips into his shoes 21 oct 06 WORD SYMPHONY VIII (Refer: Pulp - Common People) I Fast between the shadow where a voice is seen and death committed by a fallacy they visualize a universe we have never seen and our fantasy is clean how we have evolved wooden sticks to death destruction small territories we see the earth from the moon and close our eyes god can never be that powerful and just for that kill me it just means the destruction of your universe i don't understand you i don't want to TERRORIST evil twist upon society they drop a virus here and that is fear and we do their dirty work and kill ourselves... how stupid can you get? because our tabloid society can't ignore them we live for their hate we evolve their hate we make their hate we are their hate and their hatred is our self-destruction the do nothing release the germ and we succumb to nothing why are we so stupid? why do we love the death we fear so much? poison arrow garment rich underwear hate me with a pencil erase me with your hair loop me in death's shadow life's a fowl disease i cannot connect the reason for life yet death and TERRORISM NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY SENSE and yet every evening we rationalize the news society against society individuals be dammed isn't that were the problem is? dehumanize dehumanize brainwash brainwash brainwash the nation not the person the good for all hardly any purpose to the trip the leader takes... II (Refer: Beatles, Get Back - Naked) Fuckin fool the razor blade scratches where it can blood is not a medium it's the ink of generations history denial inventory it flows where you scream not on a movie screen she ate my apple what more can I say and left pilot froze jesus rose and the pope explained why anything had to be like anything isn't what is just is? i never understood it otherwise... the universe fluctuates and we just hate each other small territory infinite universe just kill each other why the hell not the dress differently and follow a holy book written for a tribe of nomads and nothing the there makes any sense today... but sleep in our eyes is a set demise but then do scattered atoms matter when reassembled where they've been? I have never been to my parents grave after I buried their remains As ground is ground they are in my mind not in the earth somewhere simpletons read gravestones offspring’s remember NOTHING'S GONNA CHANGE MY WORLD they who remember need no monuments III I forever simple hope for no solution dreams cannot displace whatcha want whatcha want when the arrow penetrates and Adam dreams a thong Eve smiles wistfully I dig a pony she sighs and Adam collapses in a mood for apes... and Charlton Heston explodes into someone's nervy daughter note quite something now to care about...the leaves are off the trees and the Beatles died years ago The long and winding road refuses to get out of the way somehow we stumble in its path and make our way to insincere moments we refuse to know have been forever and a day And Oh don't ever tremble where the blood accepts the pain death is no destruction where rain meets rain and the cats bring substitution where the wine is just a song... so long so log so long Ich bin die grosse heimat Ich bin myself Ich bin Klaus-Jens finally myself IV The future glows without us The future grows ... Between the wisdom and the harmony there is sometimes reason to repeat an effort 21 Oct 2006 WORD SYMPHONY IX (Refer: The Rolling Stones, A Bigger Bang; Beethoven's denial of the 3rd) I there's a terror in the argument good begets the good whatever book you read whatever "truth" believe there's a moment you refuse yourself and do no good become the person you always were and a wonderful experience awaits you glowing thunder gunshot to the abdomen "Hi Mister Lennon" truth is just too good to pass over without ignorance and hate violence has become our only death-debate and we have nothing left what has become the purpose of our existence? death so let's get it over with I'm sick and tired of waiting and watching it all drop the bomb nuke us all you have the power we are just the "people" who pay taxes to support you you know something "they" are not the enemy you are the enemy the government "elected" by those who are so conned to believe this is democracy it's just another form of fascism Hitler just did it better and the rest of the world grew upset because he had it right and you for fuck's sake still have it wrong... kill kill kill and keep on killing build more arms you are just the worst of the alarm no ones responds to anymore United States of Aggression freedom for all as long as there is profit to tax when was the last time you believed in humanity? but you never have or else you would have saved Africa but you did not no resources there bananas don't drive your cars and genocide doesn't happen unless the country we can't talk about says something's wrong criminal yet you can't be prosecuted can you you struck that deal with the other criminal...and now we have you standing on your pedestal spewing all your verbal lies and condemning men to death criminal you observe no laws but your own hatred spawned by a fear you have created there is nothing left in your argument you rot before my eyes... criminal how did you ever justify becoming the garbage of the universe USA useless sanction of approval criminal dogs bark yet they have a reason to attack men with guns do not they just kill because criminal and I haven't brought religion to the core I smile because I think it's funny GOD accepts us murdering and yet we worship HIM it's all right it's all right there's a greater darkness where there's light criminal the assassin rules the world third planet from nowhere and the only hope we have is to ignore him we'll never do and as such are doomed i'm old and don't have to face that future and regretfully, or respectfully have no children i know about who will face that world criminal who will show us what is real who will show us what we are scavengers building on the earth ours to command ours to shape ours to destroy criminal and this will be my legacy their nihilism against my hope their blindness against my vision criminal they will and must destroy me they cannot live with me and cannot live without me to hate as an example nazi principles they cannot respect themselves unless they can hate those who are against them criminal in power we can't touch you criminal in power you can kill me arrest me destroy me criminal you have no solution to anything you are just a false god who pretends to save the future... only for himself (my apology...even... for herself... politically correct we must so twisted be...) and corporate identity criminal and that is where we are lost beneath the stars one small planet one huge hate how do we ever manage to get a date? my sperm may be an aggressive spurt your cervix chooses we have all a thought in this and deliciously expose the fault we crave upon WE WANT OURS! and that is Criminal. II No substitution. No value. No hope for the vanquished just for the victor and the victor's history the mount the cause and the solution yet only one solution's viable little earth alive and well soon to devour parasites that have preyed on it too well in the past Gaia remembers Gaia has been patient for too long Gaia forces the equation we can't get Gaia, not like we, won't get it wrong... III (Refer: The Beatles - Get Back - Naked) There's a long line of diamonds in the sky sometimes falling to earth what a miracle since the spot is miniscule and the ants who kill themselves on this chunk of mud mean nothing the wind still settles like a curse through different fur and nothing's gonna change this world where the enemy creeps upon ourselves because it's us nothing's gonna change my world nothing's gonna change my world nothing's gonna change my world jia guru deva jia guru deva jia guru deva and there may be broken hearted in the world there will be an answer in the world let it be I can see no perfect moment Beethoven died composing his tenth symphony and Mahler so did too both heralded achievement and both met the Beatles head to head where they succeeded and gave up There is a moment in destiny I see now where it all comes together a focal point a matrix the moment of expansion the moment where it all came from mother's milk the egg's growth still beyond comprehension but the birth of all and we have not achieved it but it's all around and in its context all this killing doesn't matter nothing we have achieved matters nothing we have done cared about matters we are nothing but a one in a multitude infinite we can never achieve personal perfection the buddha never was for us jesus never was for us the buddha was for what we must become jesus was for what we might become and we never found that message we never understood the simple thing we hid in a complexity life is such a simple thing we ignore that we have never understood what life is for IV I hold my head in my hands in the glow of a monster there is no excusing it they bombard me with electrons glowing screen I place my thoughts memory chip so small I step upon and history won't remember so ironic this great age of communication will be the darkest age of all not even paper will survive I'll mean nothing you'll mean diddly squat dylan won't be known beatles won't be known nothing we have done will be found beneath the broken stones that will be left telling there was something here and maybe they'll find a scribble of a scrawl before my age because they can't decipher plastic nothing's gonna change my world nothing's gonna change my world nothing's gonna change my world let it be whisper words of wisdom there will be an answer let it be so the point of no solution is the point of no return yet we must and we must be better to return what we have lost we gain again in a better earth we have known the past we will never have to know again 27 Oct 2006 WORD SYMPHONY X (Refer: Klaus Gerken weeps and rejoices (where's the difference?)) I where was the universe when it wasn't created where was the universe before the sperm hit the egg and masturbated into your psychological profile and where were you when death took hold another longing for redistribution nowhere not here not there not anywhere because the universe exists nowhere it just exists here no one asks the greater questions no one wants the greater questions no one can answer them people just want to be secure with their pacifiers their religion their everyday mundane existence no change no disturbance no conquest of an everest no moon-shot just a perfect harmony in a universe of harmony god is great satan is here to tempt us if i don't kill you here you will kill me there so perfect is "your" solution it leaves "me" with no other how has your "god" given you that? you will kill me for asking you who are the shadow of your god one cross saves one cross crucifies and the nails are your solution for the thoughts you cannot process and as he vinegar is my wine the wine is your vinegar your are a shadow of conquest a feeling of regret cowering beneath a hollow surface of solution you masturbate hate not semen but masturbating semen kills and you kill you kill with hate and the devil your devil saves your righteous soul you who cross the great divide and taste salt waters leaving all to thirst because a god is all you have to conquer you desperate dust is what you are 30 floating universes in your souls and you have to be in this one your tomb had a best moment your life did not a favourite of anyone who encroached upon your sacred territory adam or an ant eve or a religion a serpent or a god a god or an asp i have to piss be back in a moment to finish this... and where was the moment god made adam and god made eve and god made an eel a crustacean a monkey a horse good when he made a cat don't quite know a dog but the earth was good and the firmament had stars and noah built an arc where every creature was incestuous (of course we can't think that - 1+1 is 3 and there has to be another in interpretation) god's the general genius of the universe we find is now finite with an infinite arrangement infinite arguments and infinite possibilities yet on this planet we have one tow the line or simply fade away jesus faded away and they resurrected him he had nothing to do with it he just simply said I am HE the king of the jews and that was his death sentence he wasn't a prophet he was just a true pretender to the throne of david and they crucified him otherwise he would have had no true significance (but i am not scholar and they say otherwise -- conjecturally) i am here to tear apart the seams i am here to tear apart your dreams your most precious perceptions i am death to you who think you have a meaning i am life to you who care to dream i am whatever you want to be destruction has no purpose in your soul no meaning whatsoever and hate is just demeaning it does not exit neither does evil we are all just human beings and no matter what we have done gross or not deserves some type of understanding there is no such thing as evil it's been perpetrated on us it's a nail in out collective coffin even Hitler was a good guy in his mind II there is fire where the past walks in or the commentary the dust jacket after the bomb caesar killed millions yet he is a hero macbeth not hamlet a tragic figure so king lear but hannibal a fiend who had to be defeated why history dictates our solutions there's something grievous here something we must but can't quite see home what is home and what comprises our security what makes us nervous and what makes us secure enough to love and have a family that's what war is about that's what peace should be about why did the crusaders rape jerusalem why did the saracens kill all and why did montfort say at the siege of .... when asked "How will we know who are Christians and who are Heretics?" "Kill them all" he said, "God knows his own." Such a perfect moment. we have not begun to understand history and what it has to teach 30 years is our existence span that is all we have to learn and beyond that there is nothing history is like a time warp it repeats itself over and over again just read a hundred years of newspapers 30 years the same and we do not remember or don't want to because it makes us feel old and the kid's don't complain they just go through the same loop we did - just a few more gadgets but always the same rebellion the same growing up the same cycle there's little difference between Egyptian, babylonian, Greek, Roman, or any other society...they all grew up the same said the same thing were the same trouble and grew up some didn't but then the "law" took care of that and some had more privilege than others the law is never all pervasive we chose we chose we chose the victors win the victors win we know not what maybe just their destitution for having destroyed the other maybe just their "greatness" at being now the one and only letting nothing in but their own as the victor we chose as the conquered they chose does one ever compromise is there no solution to our lies? III 3 days sober and I needed drink to violate a sober psyche with a volatile solution I needed to write this poem It was paramount in my being It was beyond my sober range So I wrote this The best I could My failure may be a blessing to get into your mind because with all the words you will never be able to get into mine and that's the way I want it the more your read these words the more you will become confused the more you will have to think and you can't do that can you...mr. whoever... I left the question mark out It was a rhetorical question no need for an answer the man wd have no answer and unfortunately dylan had neither but it doesn't matter the poet is a shadow following all of us observing a "seer" a "voyeur" as Rimbaud said outside society on the peripheral observing everything the police don't like that but a poets primary responsibility is to the truth what he see is what he knows what he understands is where he goes IV gibbon moon above tall buildings lighted windows small case for deliverance the first to see you look out your window can call the cops and the cop's approach is always guilty...contrary to the constitution but they don't care they don't talk just beat you on the head and figure it all out later no compromise no talk just destruction hate fear mostly fear and they have the guns i have been in their clutches and don't want to be so again i wake up a 4 and go to work at 5 home at 330 because i work compressed hours feed my cat read and answer my email prepare some food drink some wine watch the news and go to bed and next day if not the weekend repeat the dull experience and maybe some days after a few wines and some good music I write verbal symphonies to compound the good nannadum nannadum nannadum dum 31 Oct 2006 WORD SYMPHONY XI (Refer: Blake - Jerusalem) I fusil oil fuselli marat quantum measure stoned dancing naked in the woods barabbas-jeshua hanging on the cross no other way to get back to the beginning what is in me what is lost is my sole purpose to explore vox clamentis desert termites babel ziggurats pyramids stairs to god a god one god we have many all the same yet perfectly content to let us fight it out god of plenty god of fright god the might clout single purpose blood red scream starving children caught between rebel armies in the fold red crusades search for gold what is bleeding bleeds to earth no one sees it no one hears single purpose what most fear money starves them shed a tear "feeds us plenty why then care?" the world's no menace the world's a rock the parasites on it who should care ants a-plenty step on ants pray there's something more out there echo silence human howl mounting batter roast the fowl once cremated dust is dust we eat flesh because we must survive what cannot be a loss institutions falter rust is rust A million years of human remains time killed them time's to blame time will kill us are we sane - enough to notice who's to blame? gather moments while you can the past and present future merge everything you think exists every dream is a reality every denial is a curse a frozen hearse multi-universe dylan screams his mr. jones... bones bloody bones we build our future on yet in denial hitler gave us medicine volkswagens cottage homes highways lots of other things medicine maybe through torture but we denied we used it yet we did many many would be dead had we denied the opportunity two world wars made us west rebuilt the ruins west is strong now east watch east watch everything everyone be afraid of death you will not notice when it comes watch for them anonymous fear bloody fools they'll get you anyway live life well it's all you can do let them kill you after all you'd do the same to them you see diplomacy delays action that retaliates diplomacy is words sentences, paragraphs and verbal sparring war is bullets, bombs and death diplomats are chickenshit who condemn soldiers to death you rebuild a country when they want to chickenshits just grab what they can there is no knowledge of complacency no civility no "what the fuck you do not understand?" they will never understand the common self sufficient mind they control and we obey except at controlled manipulated election times so what's so democratic with only two viable candidates? that's not democracy that's manipulated dictatorship and i fall to my knees and dig my fists in mud and cry for those mormon children all your laws could not save you who say you are the brave but you are nothing robots who change as the law commands yesterday you condemn tomorrow you embrace the law gives you a clear glass eye you think at home you do not think at work "the law is what i do" one-trick pony when I wake up you may be at my nose with a gun in my face because I did something wrong years ago that wasn't a crime then... but everything's retroactive now isn't it...? (Let Zimmerman do this shout -- I just sound like a drunk Leonard Cohen) Isn't it? Isn't it something? Today's society judges history... the past... we even repent for the past we even give money for what we didn't do... it's become a guilt community seven generations... we are so manipulated by the past we cannot see the future let alone the present and yet we speculate upon what cannot be but ignore what can be must be shrivel in responsibility there is an honest hope we come together in the next generation beyond this planet's dust when it dissolves in the fires of our sun sure 4 billon years is a long time how long I say will YOU last? II Maximin Gruenhaeuser herrenberg 2002 Riesling Kabinett "There's a grape in every bottle" someone said of Canadian wines "There's a grape in every bottle" Sure So we drank it anyway It was 1971 And "Sauterne Hill" Or "Wasps' Nest cove" were our hang out places away from the cops who once so unceremoniously one time descended on us drinking in a wooded area beneath the Hill in droves... Danny broke his arm when they tackled him down the hill sliding to the river Danny's dog ripped one cop's pants right across his ass and he slid into the water by the sewer outlet into the polluted slush of the Ottawa river we are just having quiet fun i got out ok some others the other's weren't amused being picked up naked "in the act" no charges laid hippies had their moments and "narcs" were a piece of cake to spot with their semi-dirty jeans and their ultra-polished shoes they never got it we were ok it was a cops and robber's game and no one ever got hurt --except Danny, who was ultra-pissed (not so now - we don't even know our cops) even Danny's dog survived it was at the great party early june i recall if i remember anything where i had sex with three different women on sauterne hill among a thousand others and no cop bothered us the wine (and drugs) flowed freely tabs of acid mescaline lots of weed and heavy hash and one or two did shot harder stuff but that was the exception not the rule we were young and feeling good and music ruled I borrowed someone's "Let It Bleed" album and never brought it back once someone "borrowed" five bucks from me to set us up to go and fight a revolution in some south american country sure man here's five bucks make the call hire the boat and off we go fighting for the great white north smiling was a great disease those days (wish it could be now) sauterne hill off course was the ground by the National Arts Centre bordering the Rideau Canal and the NAC had the greatest book store where I sat for hours in easy chairs reading Thomas Wolfe Clayton Eshleman's Caterpillar Anthology Hemingway and a hundred other books I could not afford to buy Across the street was the National Art Gallery in the Lorne Building where I used to live days at a time admiring Piccaso, Cezanne, Thompson, Sisley and others... There was one Van Goth and that was GOD Ill maintained, we used to hang our own paintings in the hall and no one noticed great gathering place on the top floor cafeteria where we "poets" used to meet and exchange ideas overlooking the University of Ottawa...and other empty spaces soon to be exploited... Never really got anywhere... Sold some drawings on the Sparks Street Mall one September day Nights...well there were dark places you took your girls... once in a side door staircase... well that's a story we won't go to here... pretty maybe drunk for sure there's a lot of personal history none wd like to talk about... Sherry's on the Mall was a great meeting place... watching and meeting girls Officer Scott always kept a watch knew us all (no one ever was humiliated like these days) don't smoke that joint here go into the alley 'round the street we all admired his pretty suit and respected him here's to Scott McDonald greatest beat cop Ottawa ever had and then of course those House parties lasting years Randy was a wiz at that until I sat buck naked on the neighbour's chimney playing masters of war and he got annoyed sporting a shot gun and bad blood pressure "Calm down, Man" I said as I slid down his roof...and fell into a bush saving my bottle of rum... bad vibes bad drugs bad manna... Ok he said "don't let it happen again" we were neighbours then took care of each other good or bad times have changed i guess times have changed 1969 it was never thought 2006 would ever be "1984" III (Refer: David Bowie) The "Man who fell to earth" had a bottle in his hand dry mouthed withered sun-drenched like a hobo leathered skin in front of 20 different channeled tvs thirsting beyond the edge alone false persona stadium dreams frozen moments desperate mirror blacked-out image no moon seen janus-faced turn around and you're dead fifty scorpions on your small head dead * a shadow came to my door tonight she was blond and oh so willing i was shaking like a black red dog she kissed me you been drinking i voted not to conquer her she already conquered me she left her clothes and fled like lint into a dusty sea... was i dreaming was i sane who's to tell and who's to know she did not share my bed with me but her scent's a moorish blow she said she'd be back on the back of a devil black bitch horse and I believe here when she come she'll take me for the worse i cannot ride i cannot sing i have a broken violin and yet i play the sweetest tune i will ever hear within * they murdered me you know that i'm alive i'm willing a ghost is all i claim to me the man has lost his shilling ---- it was a dark and stormy night the teller told his tale it was a dark and stormy night he began to wail... ---- * my favourite scene from " The Man who came to earth" was on the peer, by the lake when David Bowie was still in his room but people saw him in a monk's robe, hooded standing by the water we se something amazing something that shouldn't be couldn't be yet he was there and whoever saw him was amazed you cannot be you are not real so what's this deal why don't you speak to me my saviour my salvation i am not who you think i am i am who you know i am look upon the waters what is the reflection waves of moon upon the earth cycle of fruition fourth night Norma killing her own child Luna Diana Hyperion all who worshipped at "The Lady of the Lake"... Lake of Nemi... seeking what already is always will be, our eternity... as the universe is immortal life must be immortal that's why there’s such a common pull towards religion and regimented being... the universe evolve by common laws it cannot deviate from those laws yet we interpret laws we cannot understand and build them to our own inadequacies x does not exist remember? There is someone standing at the door she is waiting for someone to let her in she is pacing up and down she reads the headlines from a newspaper finally someone rushes through the door she follows in her shadow we do not know if she id home or somewhere else visiting maybe she just forgot her keys maybe something much more sinister at least she gained some ground and some adventure will develop among an infinitude all real all us all them over and over again for eternity X does not exist remember? aye and there the rub... twist a jelly in a bowl and it shapes the jelly or the bowl? on a quantum level both shape both so what are we at that level to be bold enough to kill another or hold court and decide what laws should govern the rest of us... what are we at that level? and what are we at the greater level of the universe micro/macro chose your vision squint your eyes pray forgiveness nothing dies the universe recycles what it needs what it needs what is it? an entity more than we can conceive? or just a bunch of matter our telescopes reveal? So what's beyond "there" dontcha wanta know? IV Meal Time Where's the sauce? 9 November 2006 Word Symphony XII I (Refer: The End - The Doors 1967) the time is beyond time past and present future hope no one copes what lead you here will never lead you back again kurtz hid in the jungle mad as any hatter or was he more sane than any of us believe not what they tell you you know it is a lie this is the end my only friend in a world consumed with hate we've come to love too late no one serves himself in closed debate even in a parliament a congress senate damn debate they have a clear agenda on their pedestal the people after all are just chattel in their yoke what have we become a desperate slave don't debate there is hollow heart where no one can depart from the crowd think out loud in a cell only ... truth knows well... * there's a shadow in the sun where the royals have their fun there's a moment you believe there's a moment you deceive there's a horse that pumps up blood in a sea of human mud no one need deny why these children cry i'm a stranger to the cross i don't believe the loss and what can be the gain when the brain parks itself? there's a bright spot of collusion in a world of no solution time goes on in a desperate song * war is all we have to struggle with the past and make the present more productive and the future our new hope our new illusion this is what we want this is how we want it this is how we get it war * let's have some fun: Good ol' Georgie boy gonna make Iraq his toy and bring them Liberty felt so good he thought that he would pee He he he he Rump the Terrible quoted unknown parables Said "They've got "MD's" Pressed he laughed a' loud "We will make 'em free" But as he read the morning news His fist went through the floor Thud thud Dubya's basketball bounced through the wooden shed Thud thud Dubya's basketball said "Ol' Saddam is dead" Morning came again, the rice was grain again And no one was amazed "We knew all along that he was crazed" Not wishing to display himself he ran into the bath The newsmen could not fathom this and had a slothful laugh So he directs the war With paper from a roll And no one knows what drives his crazy soul Thud thud Dubya's basketball bounced through the wooden shed Thud thud Dubya's basketball said "This dictator's dead" Rump the Terrible washed his head in rum And wrote upon the wall "The Iraqis now will worship basketball" He he he he... * And now we know who Dubya's Basketball always was as it dribbled through the outhouse and the mud... * there's a passion to commitment one believes or one doesn't it's got to be that simple once collusion gets a hold of you you're no better than a bouncing ball kicked around by others * i'm trying to knit together loose ends a million voices a million feelings a million commitments one heart * across the great divide a poem's only what the waste becomes hordes of conquering mounds of evolution wars famine genocide a poem is a living god no one worships ever seeing ever knowing never known but always there * and what is a poet? trouble for the insecure. * There is a dark road leading nowhere There is another leading home Kick a pebble to see which path you take... * In the heart of madness is a grain of sanity; if we only knew which one... * And in the end when we forced Armageddon on ourselves because we believed it had to come we judged ourselves and lost my only friend And in the end where the deer and the antelope are misaligned in a world where headlights kill and no one cares - nature encroaches on us - not us on nature we are gentle gods with the right to kill whatever is not our religion our book is holy our book is all there is everything else is sacrilege come on... dontcha love another war? my only friend And in the end there is no poverty no suffering no hate just a clear light that shines upon the cross of retribution all will live as one "in perfect harmony" rose coloured glasses and then "their" god gasses all of us... so insecure we are we have to hate another to survive society's a great big lie isn't it? my only friend in the end in the end in the end * there was never a voice where a voice was never heard * my cat loves to play with string there's a new ocean forming in ethiopia i don't know a thing i don't now a thing where' s the hope in this the universe explodes and forms another universe now because of -1 i know everything II her only world is drugs she does not know herself or any other she fights for her survival 5 kids and 37 she's beautiful but worn she's a woman who just needed a place to stay we didn't even have sex that night it's the first night I'll spend with you and i'd rather just sleep on the couch ok i said and went to bed in he morning time goes slowly and she wakes slowly bundled in her sheets I have to tell her she has to leave because I have company coming it makes me feel like a fuckin' hypocrite she phones a shelter where she can stay and borrows a blanket they just provide a bed i didn't know she was homeless she talked about her kids and a bad relationship she was in i thought she just wanted a one night stand i was reticent at first but she was adamant i like to get into the men i go home with i was hung over and didn't resist after her third kiss * i am very tired tonight the wine drops a heavy appeasement and gently wobbles me to pre-dream-thoughts drifting like a fast aroma through a midnight aire... mozart muzac fumbles past even bach's whiter shade of pale turns the turnstile one more time on a disc jockey's misdemeanor... from back to the future to back to the present to hula-hoops and nuclear physics it's all the same the sane physics that saves us kills... can hat be avoided? no it can't your kitchen knife cuts meat... cuts meat... dead or alive food or slaughter you decide voters of he purple joke they call democracy with only two candidates big money in their balls their vaginas their spit that promises nothing they can gather in a plastic bag i love the way the kids behave rugged loose and no solution when i first came to Canada (the free and mighty - damn the arrow) she sequestered me and i responded rugged youth pouting anger marlon brando way kuriac and progeny toilet paper roll the dice go out there and confront your future there is nothing less than doubt to explain the future we accept it delusional -- we have to move on eye for an aye - truth for a truth manufactured it happened when no one was looking surprised and conquered us so what is the voice we never listen to gadda be our own gadda be our own that places us in jeopardy and which voice was that? * they say Mozart never scribbled anything his manuscripts and scores were perfect Beethoven on the other hand scribblers of invention over and over again crossed out discarded refused sweat into an alleyway rages the great master and disciple mahler M just postures pink fluffed-up wigs and showmanship perfect elton john B is John Coltrane Thelonious Monk Charlie Parker The Blues Project maybe even Tom Waits masters of the desperate struggle true music is emotion never melody it forces the listener to think not lounge true music rattles you III "There is a crack in everything That's how the light gets in That's how the light gets in" L. Cohen There was once a green meadow where concrete is now there was once a deep harbour where a King can bow low * So the treasure's still lost and Tom Waits' the boss and the needle hits a nerve and the world gets more absurd over and over and over again they tell me we're on the eve of destruction and have we aged so much to forget what mattered to the young now matters to the young no longer wake up old man we the young are your future our future what have you to offer us? we offer wisdom history experience your wisdom your history your experience what relevance to us? relevance to everyone relevance to none these are the stones we walk upon splintered stones bloody feet bloody nails lacerated skin they who do not listen can't believe and those who don't believe can't listen one stone thrown one spittle spat one who spits upon you one who steps one who steps over you collapsed when does the community become the guilty? when does the law become the crime? the nazi and the nigger have a lot in common at least to a nine year old a school boy they did I saluted when they called me that I saluted and was punished I gave them what they wanted I defused what they threatened and I got punished 1959 I was always the "Nazi kid" and they say it's a better "regulated law abiding" world today well it's not it's even worse as a nine year old I can't defend myself today i punched a bully then and the teachers knew who won they were only upset at my return salute no cops in schools then and mass communication has no effect bullies were taken care of by a knee to the balls (the girls always knew how to handle thugs) and the boys growled at each other and maybe threw a few fists I was assaulted once by three thugs who were police officers' sons...they didn't like me because my father was a barber...they surrounded me... in a field...they punched and kicked me...one hit me with a wooden plank...bloodied I crawled home... my mother was upset...she confronted their parents... I made an appearance...and my mother hit me, punched me kicked me in the living room because i embarrassed her in front of the neighbours...i said you were badly hurt.. why did you have to make me out a liar...du bis dumm! i was never the same again... violence had no place in my heart after that... and i knew there would be no one on my side ever again...for life. IV the final movement of the final symphony how to pull it all together how make a choral splash that's what they have wanted that's what they won't get i'm only someone human and what you get might write this line without ever knowing it's a curse ah...don't we long for firsts largely getting rotten apples in a hearse...aka a garbage can for those who we've departed when they did no longer matter did no longer serve seniors confined in a "gentle" prison no rich food no wine no...well, questionable...drugs but when one's dying shouldn't one have everything one craves... maybe for seniors we just dig graves... let's end here. 21 November 2006 / 21 December 2006 * Epilogue final disgrace let silence speak lest I say something the rabble might agree with 617 10 aug 06 Copyright (c) 2006 Klaus J. Gerken Published by Ygdrasil Press 2006