Kicking Away at It
by Matt Robinson
as a child, it was my soccer coach who
let me in on the secret; showed me
the trick to it. standing there, each of
us, with a leg held back and bird-like
hopping, he came up behind me and
simply said: focus on one thing, one spot
on the grass. and training my eye to
a piece of clover, i was steadied -
assured. and from that point on, through
each of our field-held rituals, i stared:
at bare patches of earth; at longish
blades of grass fortunate or wily enough
to have escaped the mower; at scraps
of paper; and, at times, even at
a shining dime, that in the midday
sun would signal to me from just
across the pitch. it was a foolish
sort of looking - we laughed at its
simple efficacy, did not see the use of it
beyond summer's shin-guarded play.
but now, it is early winter, and i am
here in another field, the grass having
slightly wilted, faded in the grip
of frost. and now, as they lower you
down - past the bare pilings of earth
there poorly covered by the green, but
artificial, trappings of ceremony - i find
myself staring at the stones. and
even as i struggle to maintain my balance
i am slowly moving back: from this
cool october now to the warmer junes
and julys when staring at the scarring
of a field was steadying. then the wind
picks up and sneaks underneath
my collar - and i am back here again,
craning slightly, awkwardly, to find
a spot beyond the crumbling edge of
the hole. i am peering again for that trick,
the secret that will allow me balance,
allow me to stand through this later,
straining ritual; through the sudden
tension and precariousness of my pose.
matt robinson, winner of the 1999 Petra
Kenney Memorial International Poetry Prize, has a Creative Writing MA from
UNB and is currently a PhD candidate in Canadian Literature there. He took
3rd Prize in THIS Magazine’s 2000 Great Canadian Literary Hunt. His
first book-length collection of poetry, "a ruckus of awkward
stacking," was published in September 2000 by Insomniac
Press. He has
published extensively in Canadian, American, British, and Australian
journals. His work has been featured on CBC Radio and he is on the
editorial board of The Fiddlehead. |
