May 12, 2004

Subject: An Open Letter: From Michael Holmes

Finally, Michael Holmes has returned—to poetry.

Michael Holmes has been to the mountain, has sought the guidance and strength of the Holmesters ™, has said his prayers and eaten his vitamins.

And in this, his darkest hour, Michael Holmes must thank the millions, and millions of Michael Holmes' fans for the cards and letters which nourish the strength of Michael Holmes’ convictions, which stoke the furnace, brother, of Holmes-mania ™.

Michael Holmes has heard his peeps (props and mad love to you all, styling and profiling from coast to coast, from the mean streets of Brampton to the palaces of Bramalea, from the smallest Holmes-maniac ™ to Cena and Poffo and the living legends of poetry who’ve rumbled before the Holmester ™) and brother, Michael Holmes says this:

Michael Holmes thought everyone knew—“Carmine Starnino” and “David Solway” are the same person. And Michael Holmes suspects there are other incarnations, other gimmicks, too. Michael Holmes suspects the multiple personas are a coy, thinly veiled attempt to maximize granting potential, to “swerve” both readers and arts councils alike.

Michael Holmes has read both “Canadian Poetry as a Busted Flush or, I'll See Your Anne Szumigalski and Raise You a David Donnell” by “Starnino” in Canadian Notes & Queries 55 and “Standard Average Canadian, or the Influence of Al Purdy” by “Solway” in CNQ 59.

Michael Holmes can’t see a difference. (Brother, can you see a difference?)

Michael Holmes has never seen “Carmine” and “David” in the same room—because they occupy a single critical space.

And finally, brother, if Michael Holmes may be serious for a moment:

Michael Holmes sent all the little Holmes-maniacs ™ to Matrix instead of Book In Canada because Matrix exists and is good while BIC is almost wholly imaginary and dedicated to slippery slopes.

Therefore, Michael Holmes felt it would be good for you—and good for poetry—to read Bök’s rebuttal before attempting to grapple with “Starnino’s/Solway’s” chair-shots.

Remember, Michael Holmes is here to protect you, whenever he can.

Sincerely, and Peace out, and Word Life,

Michael Holmes