January 16, 2004

Subject: Martin Wallace on Shane Neilson on John MacKenzie

Dear Mr. Wallace:

Your recent letter gladdens us. As you know, there is a real market in chitinous bugs –especially multi-coloured ones- and our small company is in desperate need of more; perhaps you could supply us with some? We trust that you will get back to us on this matter via the “intellectually vacuous domain of internet discussion boards” you mention. We believe that your chitinous bugs have real potential. Mr. Wallace, we can make you a star! Send us a few choice bugs and we will write as many testimonials as you like for your poetry. We have done this for others and the results have been profitable. Do keep in touch.

We must, however, regretfully decline your proposal that punctuation in a public literary forum is unimportant. After all, as Mr. MacKenzie himself has pointed out, “Carelessness destroys coherence.” 

Sincerely,

Shane Neilson, CEO
Feuds-R-Us