Poema Woman
by Michael O'Neill
With the key in one hand and the small
book in the other he located room 411, southeast corner of the building.
He closed the door behind him. He didn’t lock it.
The only light was from beyond the
window; its glass grime stained beyond redemption. With difficulty he
pried the lasp free dragging the window open as much as possible. The
over-heated breeze carrying the scent of fried foods, bad traffic and a
hint of things worse to come barely ruffled the yellowed curtain.
The aged bed with its metal rail head
board smoothed and polished at either end from the grip of working women
and desperate men riding, grunting, sweat streaked and desperate to
nowhere filled the room, gave it meaning. The bed was within arms reach
of everything, the window the most promising of destinations. He was
content with the arrangement.
He pulled a wooden chair from next to
the closet without a door setting it at the foot of the bed. He took
care that it face toward the window and he sat with the book in his lap
and waited.
The knock on the door was soft,
tentative. He shifted in the chair, opening the door.
The woman who stepped into the doorway
was exactly as he had envisaged, thin, dark close cropped hair with a
hint of grey. She wore a dress of burgundy, offset with hundreds of
faded yellow petals. He thought of the lifeless curtains, limp by the
window. She wore aged sandals and her feet needed care.
She hesitated standing there in the
hall as she enquired with her dark eyes if this was the place she was
expected.
Without standing, without speaking he
waved her with a slow deliberate gesture into the room.
The smile she attempted accentuated the
crows feet about her eyes and the sallow texture of the skin. The
tiniest of liver spots dark against pale flesh were enhanced by the blue
vein highlights which did not escape his attention.
She closed the door behind her and
looked at the man in the chair.
"You were expecting someone
else?" She said quietly not wanting to strain her voice. She
coughed quickly, glancing away from the man. She was in pain.
"No." He replied his left
hand covering his right, the book beneath the latter on his lap.
"Are you unwell?"
She straightened suddenly, head back,
shoulders tight, eyes forward. "No. God, I haven’t felt
better." She stepped past him tossing her wooden beaded purse onto
the floor beneath the window next to the bed. She stepped into the light
of the window, back to him and exhaled. Another couple of coughs escaped
before she stifled the third.
Turning she began unbuttoning her dress
with her left hand as she produced a handful of condoms from her pocket
with her right.
"So what’s your pleasure?"
she began in her best business like tone, "I…"
"Put those away," he said
sternly, the book still beneath both hands, "and do up your dress.
You know what I expect, don’t you?"
She did as instructed, silently and
wary.
"You and I," he began,
"are about the same age wouldn’t you say?"
She fastened the last button and
catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror in the closet without a
door, nodded.
"You’re not well," he
continued indifferent to his words "and the people you work for
have no more interest in you, isn’t that right?"
The woman seemed to sag under the
truth. She was not well, she was too old, she had no future. A tremor
coursed through her not imperceptibly.
"Listen mister," her voice
was crushed in defeat and muffled with desperation from the tumours
growing inside her wasting body. "I got a call and…" she
begins to move from near the window toward the end of the bed,
"I’m ok, you’ll see, I’m really good and…"
The man in the chair holds up his left
hand stopping her. "I requested you because of the malady that is
consuming you. I…"
She reaches over, grabbing her purse
off the floor, coughing into the sleeve on her left arm as she moves
toward the door.
"Fuck you!" She coughs again,
her pace uncertain. "Fuck you!"
The man is out of the chair and in
front of the door.
"We are, you and I, in the same
precarious situation. And neither of us can do anything about it. We are
facing similar fates. We are both dying in front of everything that ever
had any meaning."
She stops by the foot of the bed. He
notices the spittle on her sleeve is tinged with blood. She seems to
have weakened with the confrontation.
"What I want only you can give
me." He has not moved from the door. "Explaining myself is of
no importance. There are things I want you to do."
She waits, leaning against the bed. A
thread from the hem of her dress drifts in the flaccid breeze wafting
hopelessly from the window. He notices this loose thread straggling
embarrassingly and feels more certain she is whom he desires at this
moment. "This is the only day I have in which it can be done."
With a gesture of his arm he invites
her to stay. She sits on the side of the bed, her purse dropping to the
place it had been beneath the window. The man wipes the perspiration
from his forehead with a handkerchief and sits again in the chair. He
tosses the book onto the bed next to the woman. The pocket into which he
thrusts his handkerchief is filled with vials of several medications.
"Have you done what was
requested?" His tone is anxious.
She says nothing as she picks up the
book of poetry. For a moment she looks at the cover of the small
paperback; PAROLES at the top PREVERT at the bottom.
"Oui." She hands the book
back to the man in the chair and stands up. Facing the window for a
moment her left hand reaches up and touches the top button on her dress.
"Je suis comme juis suis,"
she turns toward the man sitting in the chair, book opened in front of
him.
"Je suis faite comme ca" Her
dress unbuttoned, falls open as she stands, hands clasped behind her.
Beneath the open dress is a slip of a bygone age.
Reciting the poem she lets the dress
fall from her shoulders onto the floor. She turns from the man in the
chair, her voice sure and steady, the lines of the poem delivered with
slow precision, her voice caressing every word.
"Que jaime chaque fois."
Barefoot by the window, her slip drifts
from her body. Naked standing into the open space over the city she lets
the filthy breeze from the overheated world beyond the room caress her
emaciated body as her recitation continues. The man in the chair, eyes
no longer on the page, listens, held, enraptured. The realization
returning to him; his lifeless prick is beyond lusts most fevered
effort.
"Mes seins," she turns toward
him, breasts cupped in each hand, "beaucoup trop durs". She
leans into the window frame, hands fall to her sides.
He studies her, seeing the ravage of
disease, the slow grip of death tightening, squeezing into her.
For a moment she pauses, considering
and begins anew, "Rappelle-toi Barbara."
The words of Prevert for a moment
dissolve into the cacaphony of troubled sounds and sirens from four
floors below. This woman standing amidst her tired and tattered clothes
with sandals beneath the bed has taken hold of the man in the chair.
Her body was wasteland itself; breasts
small and lifeless, nipples dark and irregular in form, her belly near
concave, ribs too easily accounted for beneath weak pale skin. Her hips
protruded, not fleshy and tactile, but bone hard, sharp and uninviting.
She’d shaved her pubis clean, a tribute to her trade and to the desire
of men who once clawed and mouthed their way into her lying and cheating
their way to cheap ecstasy. Gangly she now is, unsteady, unbeautiful and
vulnerably lovely beyond expectation as she spoke to the man in the
chair.
"Et tu as coru vers lui sous la
pluie."
She shifted onto the bed, sitting so as
to face the man.
"Je dis tu a tois ceux que
j’aime."
With one hand she pulled the sheet from
the bed drawing it over her shoulder, covering her back, covering her
breasts.
A shadow passes over the window and she
flinched ever so slightly continuing her recitation, never slowing,
never hesitating.
And then she stops, the poem ending.
"I only know those two," she
seems shamed by her lack of knowing more. "I have nothing more to
say." She lets the sheet fall from her shoulder and sits exposed to
him.
The man closes the small book holding
it again on his lap.
"Would you dress and begin
again?" He looks directly at her for a moment as if committing her
to memory. He bends and picks up her slip and runs the material between
his fingers. She watches as he holds the frayed garment to his face,
reacting to the sour scent of her unwashed body.
"Only this time don’t turn away
from the window."
She takes the slip from him and pulls
it on and lets him watch as she pulls her dress on, slipping first one
and then the other arm through the sleeves. She buttons her dress.
The sunlight from beyond the window was
fading in the soiled air evening. No breeze caught the curtain, the room
was close and hot.
Standing into the window she began
reciting the poems again as she undid the buttons of her dress. The
thread which had been noticed was again obvious, speaking to poverty and
loss.
"J’aime celui qui maime."
She hesitated for a moment as she
pulled her arms free of the sleeves, the dress hanging down her back.
In the window before her, from the
shadows that gained over light, she could see in its reflection the
empty chair behind her, the door slowly swinging lose on its hinges, the
envelope on the bed.
She leaned against the warmed plate
glass searching the street below her nipples hardening slowly against
the pane and she knew her time was passing.
The light in the world dies without
effort at resistance. She feels beneath her the slip piled upon dress
and she sighs, naked into the hopelessness, "I love the one who
loves me."
Michael O'Neil writes:
"In terms of bio, I have published several short stories (although not for a considerable period of time) in RAW FICTION and NEW MARITIMES. I have also written a treatment for a film based upon the poetry of the late Al Purdy."
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