Fog
by Hannah Holborn
1. Fog - to become indistinct
Norm Prebble’s call confirmed my destiny.
"Is Lois Anne there?"
"What’s left of her after the surgery
is." I gave Norm a moment to clue in, but dead air followed my
hysterectomy joke. A Clouded Sulphur butterfly, colias philodice, beat
its yellow wings against my kitchen window.
"My dad died, Lois Anne. Can I come live
with you?"
This despite a decade apart from the
narrow-headed friend my peers had called Squirrel. I removed a peach
from the bowl of fruit that the insect desired. "Geez, Norm,"
I said. "You know I married Dan Crant. You know he doesn’t…Oh,
damn. I’m going to need time. This is unexpected. Look, I’m hanging
up now, but I’ll call you, okay? What’s your number?" Norm’s
nose whistled on the intake. "Fine. Be that way. If you haven’t
moved, I probably have it here somewhere."
After he ended the call, I downed half a bottle
of Bacchus Dry and ate a bowl of Honey-Nut Cheerios, also dry and didn’t
bother to feel guilty about doing either.
***
During dinner at Western Wok and Ribs that
night, I ran Norm’s request past my husband. Ginger-beef went
down the wrong pipe, when Dan gasped, "No frigging way!"
"He’s harmless," I said, as if
harmlessness was Norm Prebble’s greatest selling point.
"No one is harmless, Lois." Dan
pounded his own back. "Who will support him? It takes hard cash to
survive in this world. Hard cash!" He banged the table and made my
plate jump. "I didn’t hang with the retard when we were kids and
I’m sure not going to start now."
"You didn’t hang with me either,
honey." I searched my place mat calendar for wisdom and found that
I was born in the Year of the Ox. Oxen, I read, can be
remarkably stubborn and are capable of fearsome rages. They are most
compatible with Snake, Rooster, and Rat people. Dan, I noticed, was
born in the year of the Pig. A waiter deposited a platter of curried
fish on our table and Dan served himself first.
"I think Sardjit Palmer would want me to do
this for Norm."
Dan fished a crescent shaped sugar pea out of
the black bean sauce. He licked it off and then plastered it onto his
right cheek. "Do you mean scar face Sardjit?"
"He got his injuries protecting underdogs
from people like you."
"I remember getting your boot in my balls.
You didn’t need protection."
"Not after he taught me how to fight."
Dan jabbed at the food on my plate with his
chopsticks. "Interesting, but what I really want to know is if you’re
going to eat this coconut prawn. Because, if you’re not…"
"Can you guess how Sardjit made me
feel?"
"I’ll assume butch."
"Loved," I said.
***
"Guess what this is!" Dan waved a
white envelope in my face as I hung up my coat, exhausted from my job as
secretary for the West Fenny Naturalist Society. His euphoric mood made
me wary.
"Divorce papers?"
He frowned as he whisked the envelope away.
"Very funny, but wrong. It’s the receipt for a one way ticket to
paradise. Bought expressly for our pal, Norm Prebble."
"Norm is my pal, not yours. Where’s he
going?"
"Coming," Dan said. "Here. It
turns out, Daddy Prebble was Mr. Moneybags and little Normy is his only
heir. It’s a rich man’s world, babe. If Moneybags Junior wants to
live in the safety and comfort of our home, I’m not the man to stop
him."
"Maybe I am."
"Too late: We cut ourselves a long-distance
deal."
A male robin, Turdus Migratorius, mistook its
reflection for a rival and attacked our living-room window. The bird
plummeted to the ground. A cat’s bell tinkled as I went to close the
drapes. "I love you, baby," Dan said. He blocked my way and
tried to make me dance.
2. Fogbound - unable to move
Dan drove me to meet Norm’s flight, but
refused to come in. Alone in the waiting room, I watched as a displaced
dragonfly, lestes rectangularis, crawled along the tinted window’s
ledge. I was wondering how it felt to be so far from water, so close to
death by civilization when a windblown dust-ball scooped the dragonfly
up. Both the dustball and insect vanished into the periwinkle sky as it
expelled Norm’s plane. I rose, straightened my wedding rings and then
breathed deeply.
Norm found me first. "Lois Anne!" He
hadn’t changed much since high school and that made me smile. He waved
with both arms as we hustled towards each other, eager to close the gap.
When we hugged, I had to stoop.
"Norm Prebble," I said. "How are
you?"
"I’m good," he promised.
I patted his back and steered him towards the
luggage carousals. "Did you bring a lot of baggage?"
"Tons," he said.
Later, as we waited to retrieve Norm’s
suitcase, he suddenly pushed me into a turbaned man. "Remember Lois
Anne?" He tugged on the sleeve of the man’s jacket.
"Remember her!" Norm then turned to me. "It’s Sardjit,
Lois Anne!"
I looked at the stranger’s face and felt my
heart stall.
The man who looked like Sardjit broke free of
Norm’s grasp. "So sorry. But the name does not ring a bell."
He tapped his temple as if offering us proof.
"Remember the day you left?" I said.
"Remember how thick the fog was? I thought we had lost you
forever."
On the afternoon of his fourteenth birthday,
when Dan’s womanizing father arrived for a connubial visit, his mother
barred Sardjit from their home. He landed at my door with Norm at his
side. After scooping a fistful of junk from his pocket, he extracted a
palm-sized photograph. A turbaned man glared at me with sepia eyes.
"This man is my father," he said. "I’m going to go find
him."
"Where is he?"
"Somewhere in Surrey," he said.
"With his new family."
Against our wills, Norm and I walked Sardjit to
the bus stop. The flats were cold with fog that rose from the potato
fields. It wet our clothes and hair and dripped from our noses as we
slogged single file along the road’s narrow shoulder.
When I slowed for a moment, Sardjit disappeared
from view. "Slow down," I said. "Sardjit?"
He appeared, slouched beside a bus stop.
Removing a hand from a pocket, he said, "Don’t tell anyone. Not
ever."
I linked my baby finger with his. "I swear
secrecy on pain of death."
Norm arrived out of breath. He copied my action,
but got the wording wrong. "I swear pain of death."
"Take care of each other," Sardjit
said.
Yellow lights that stained the fog like pee on
snow preceded the number twelve bus. The bus ground to a stop. Its
hydraulic doors folded open. "Don’t go," I said, but Sardjit
stepped in. I heard his fare fall. "Don’t go," I repeated.
The door heaved shut, the bus rolled away and then he was gone.
As we watched the vanishing tail lights, Norm
swiped at his snotty nose with a sleeve. The action made my stomach
churn. "There’s no place like home." Norm tried to click his
heels.
"Jeez, Norm. Grow up." A pack rat shot
over my toes. When I screamed, the wall of fog rang with it. "Darn
it! You’re so stupid, Norm Prebble!"
"It’s not my fault."
"Yes, it is. Everything’s your fault
because you’re a freaking retard." And then, I ran, not caring if
Norm could keep up. I ran not caring if he wound up as road-kill on
highway thirteen.
"Lois Anne," he cried.
"Wait."
"No!" I ran until my lungs were
sodden. When I stopped to gasp for air, the road beneath my feet looked
bleak. "Norm?" I held my breath as willows wept his answer.
"I am hurried to catch a plane with my
group." The man’s profuse apology brought me back to arrivals.
"Today we fly to Delhi. From there we travel to the Valley of
Flowers where we will climb to Guru Granth Sahib and bathe in the holy
lake."
Desperate not to lose him again, I jotted down
my phone number and held it out. "Call me."
The man offered a business card stapled to a
glossy brochure. The card advertised Jack Dahliwell - Pilgrimage
Guide - reasonable services provided. He broke away and disappeared
into the crowd.
Only then did I remember Sardjit’s scar. The
scar that Jack Dahliwell, pilgrimage guide, did not have.
3. Fogbow - a nebulous arc or circle of
white or yellowish light sometimes seen in a fog
While Norm hid in our only bathroom and Dan
paced the hallway, grumbling, I lounged on the living room sofa with the
brochure pressed against my breasts. My eyes closed and I ascended Jack’s
Dahliwell’s mountain. Cool, fine earth lifted beneath my feet as I
walked. The air was thin and stretched out forever. Sardjit trekked on
and up and I followed. We came to an alpine meadow dappled with flowers
and bordered by a pristine lake. A fog descended from the backing peaks
as Sardjit approached the outer edge of the lake. He unfurled his turban
and then laid it on an outcrop of rock.
"Wait," I pleaded. "I can’t go
in there!" Somehow I knew that women were forbidden. Sardjit dove
into the lake. Stricken, I ran to the edge. "Sardjit. Not
again!" With one toe, I tested the forbidden waters. Fog rolled
down. It pushed me back, away from the lake’s edge. It rolled over,
around and through me. It soothed my skin and made me golden and
glorious. I laughed and my body twirled in a wild dance. I sang my
delight. I was clean, unsullied and innocent.
"Lois," Dan said as he slapped my arm.
"Stop that damned dancing. I need the can and Norm’s in there
blubbering. Get him out."
I whirled around my husband. "Norm needs to
cry," I said. "We thought we found Sardjit Palmer at the
airport."
Dan crumpled onto an ottoman. "You’re a
sick bitch, Lois. You know he’s got to be dead."
I twirled and my foot sent a potted palm
crashing. "No, I don’t!"
"You’ve just got to torture me, don’t
you?" he shouted. "I only locked the kid out of his house. You
wouldn’t tell the police where he went. Pin the blame where fucking it
belongs." Dan jumped to his feet with his fists clenched.
"Dan," I said.
"Lois?"
"I need to see you bleed."
***
"Lois Anne?" Norm stood in the living
room doorway. His red eyes flickered at Dan’s prone body.
"Uh huh?" I settled onto the sofa with
Jack Dahliwell’s brochure.
"I’m not the retard here," he said.
Dan moaned, but his eyes remained shut.
"No, Norm," I said. "Of course,
you’re not."
"Lois Anne Crant?"
"Yes, Norm Prebble?"
"You are," he said.
Hannah Holborn's fiction is forthcoming in
Room of One's Own, Girls with
Insurance and The Avatar Review and has appeared in Front &
Centre, Room of
One's Own (issue 24:4), Words literary journal and Sights Unseen: New
Writing From British Columbia. She is writing a novel.
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