"We are all in the gutter, but some of us..."
Taking Trash Seriously.
"...are looking at the stars."
-- Oscar Wilde
March 3, 2005
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This site is updated Thursday afternoon with a new article about an artistic pursuit generally considered to be beneath consideration. James Schellenberg probes science-fiction, Carol Borden draws out the best in comics, Chris Szego dallies with romance and Ian Driscoll stares deeply into the screen. Click here for their bios and individual takes on the gutter.

While the writers have considerable enthusiasm for their subjects, they don't let it numb their critical faculties. Tossing away the shield of journalistic objectivity and refusing the shovel of fannish boosterism, they write in the hopes of starting honest and intelligent discussions about these oft-enjoyed but rarely examined artforms.


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But I’m going to suggest that they actually undertook an even more massive challenge: adapting Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons’ complex, sprawling medium- and genre-defining work for the screen - and completely missing its point.

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The Love Song of the Black Lagoon

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Do you hear that? Off in the distance? A song too beautiful to be real but somehow... familiar? The song twines over the water, through the cattails and the woods, into the window, eighth notes swirling all around. The creature in the lagoon is singing. He's not dead after all and who are we to resist him and the “centuries of passion pent up in his savage heart?"

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Zahn's Star Wars; Or, Will This Death be Permanent?

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Pushing Kim Jong-Il's Buttons

by Jim Munroe
At least your female character isn't in a bikini.I've done my share of North Korea mocking. My favourite story? When I was living in the South Korean countryside in 1996, there had been a recent drama aired on South Korea's KBS network that characterized North Korea in some way they didn't like. The North Korean radio issued a response: they would kill all of the employees of KBS so quickly and so quietly that not even a bird or mouse would notice.

The folksiness and the violence were odd enough -- it was the emptiness of the threat that struck me as crazy. And I'm not alone in thinking that. Everyone loves the North Koreans -- even cynical hipsters find their kitschy groupthink hilarious. It gives the military a loose-cannon threat to point to. And Hollywood has bad guys that fit the bill for action flicks (Die Another Day) or comedies (Team America: World Police).

I can't help wondering if Kim Jong-Il has played Mercenaries. The game posits that a nuke-packing, terrorist collaborating junta has staged a violent coup and turned North Korea into a "playground of destruction," as the game's tagline puts it. Even without Jong-Il at the helm, loudspeakers fill the air with the same bombastic rhetoric. You are a mercenary, a free agent looking to collect on the bounties of the "deck of 52." The Ace of Spades pays a hundred million dollars, and the game begins with you taking down the Two of Clubs -- trussing him up, calling down a copter and loading him on board.

You have an option to choose one of three type of mercs at the beginning: a British lady who isn't a team player, an American who quit the army after squadmates died under his command and a Swede who's a badass. The first two characters are racially mixed, which is perhaps an attempt to make this game less straight-up Caucasian, but it's hard to imagine a game more pathologically capitalist in worldview.

Ka-ching! goes your score as you destroy the Children's Museum, where your intel has it the North Koreans are holed up. Ka-ching! the merry cash register rings as you rack up the bucks racking up the kills. Your female comlink cheers you on as you accomplish missions for the various factions -- Russian mafia, Chinese, Allied forces -- since she's getting a percentage of the action too.

The game is also unabashedly mercenary in how it's ripped off the Grand Theft Auto series -- not that it's alone in this, to the point that the phrase "Grand Theft Also" has been coined. Certainly, this makes Mercenaries an immediately playable game for anyone familiar with the GTA series, but where I take issue is in its slavish copying of the few flaws of GTA. Driving or falling in water causes you to die, in much the same way as GTA 3. What, you're a homicidal commando made of sugar? C'mon. Also, having to switch between looking at the map and looking at where you're driving sucks. Why not allow toggling between a corner map and a floating arrow-style direction-giving that lets you focus on your driving? The Getaway, a much more innovative Grand Theft Also, found a clever way of integrating this element by having the right tail light flash when you had to turn right.

At least your female character isn't in a bikini.Which is not to say there are no innovative or new elements to Mercenaries. You can call down an airstrike on targeted buildings, and how you treat the various factions relates to how much intel or how many missions they'll give you. But the similarities are too overwhelming, to the point where the game can be read as a commentary about the similarities between criminals and soldiers: the only difference between carjacking in GTA and Mercenaries is that it's called "commandeering" in the latter. The irony of the jobs in GTA you do for mobsters being called "missions" drops away when you're doing "missions" for military factions in Mercenaries.

And of course it also commandeered the famous sandbox model of gameplay, where there's a lot of flexibility to choose between missions and to run around and create mayhem. This model is starting to grate on my nerves. Perhaps because the novelty of it has worn off, but also because it's compared favourably to the rail model. Sure, when you're led around on the rail model from scenario to scenario, you have to give up a certain amount of freedom -- but there's also the potential for a deeper storyline and clear indicators as to the progress you've made. And as free-roaming as the sandbox environments are, there's always some limit to freedom: there are only certain ways you can interact and only certain things you'll get points for.

Life is like that. Capitalism's sandbox model says, "Hey, you can do anything you want!" People run wild in their teens, but sooner or later, despite all our apparent freedom, most people end up playing the game. How else are you going to get to the next level?

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Jim, how do you think race plays an issue in this game (other than the fact that you ARE running around and killing North Koreans)? I've always been interested in how race doesn't really play a factor in avatar/character building in a lot of games.

A lot of RPGs (Dungeon Siege comes to mind, but there are plenty of others) come with options to customize the appearance of your character or create racially ambigious characters.

In a game like the Sims race isn't even an issue.... you can make your very own mixed race couple and no one would bat an eye. And last time I checked there were no racial tensions in the Sims.... interesting? no?

Ron Nurwisah, Boy Reporter

My issue with the game and the current North Korean bashing trend is that it's stereotyping a whole country of mostly fucked-over people for the ludicrous things their government have done. This characterization of N.Korea's been done before in games--it played a part in one of the Tom Clancy games a year or two ago--but this takes it to a new level of disrespect that for the large part is socially sanctioned.

That's an interesting point about the Sims. I wonder if the Red Vs. Blue kids are going to address it in their new machinima series the Strangerhood.

Jim Munroe

You think he's trying to compensate for something? Look at the size of the latest missile !

Either he needs to get laid, or bigger platform shoes.

Kick his ass Bush!

—razzi


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Pushing Kim Jong-Il's Buttons - The Cultural Gutter
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You think he's trying to compensate for something? Look at the size of the latest missile !

Either he needs to get laid, or bigger platform shoes.

Kick his ass Bush!

—razzi

3 comments below.
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Of Note Elsewhere
A wrestler-fairy? A nerd-werewolf? A caveman-pirate? All these and more in Creebobby's second Archetype Times Table.
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Wong Fei-Hung's been on my mind lately. Luckily, Kung Fu Cinema has a nice video (scroll down) of Wong Fei-Hung in the movies from Kwan Tak-Hing to Gordon Liu, Jet Li as well as Jackie Chan and actress Angie Tsang Tze-Man's portrayals of young Wong Fei-Hung. There's also a detailed companion article tracing the historical and fictional Wong Fei-Hung through newspaper pulps, radio, tv and film. 
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"It's common practice for one of those guys, in a single day, to chainsaw his way out of the belly of a giant worm, take a detour through a zombie shantytown, euthanise his long-lost wife, and spend hours in a sewer trawling through blood and waste, with monsters leaping up at his face and depositing their brain matter on his boots."

Hit Self-Destruct again, on what life's like for videogame heroes.
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The Deleted Scenes webcomic takes a look at W. E. Coyote v. ACME Corporation.
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Frank Miller's Charlie Brown, Thumbsuckers.
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