Sharing Ideas About Toilet Learning

Learning to go to the toilet is part of your child's natural development. Usually between the ages of two and three years, your child will be emotionally and physically ready to use the toilet.

• they can communicate the need to urinate or have a bowel movement;

• they understand what is expected of them when on the toilet;

• they are willing to urinate or have a bowel movement in the toilet instead of in a diaper.

• they can control their bladder, so it can hold more fluid;
• they can control the sphincter (or anal) muscles that hold onto their stool.

Every child's physical development is different, so your child may be ready at a different time than a brother or sister, your friends' children, or other children in the child care program.

Toilet learning is not always quick or consistent. "Accidents" do happen. Patience, support and understanding are required.

Your child is ready for toilet learning when your child:

• stays dry for longer periods

• recognizes when diaper becomes wet or soiled

• uses consistent words or gestures to communicate

• demonstrates interest in the toilet

• is able to get to the potty or toilet and sit on it

• is able to pull loose pants down

If you and your child's caregiver talk about your child's readiness, it is a good idea to use the same words and routines for toilet learning at home and in the child care program.

It is important to remember that parents and caregivers can only help toilet learning when a child is ready; it is the child who controls the outcome.

Generally, children's satisfaction over results encourages them to continue the learning process. Encouragement and verbal praise from adults provide positive support. However, it is not a good idea to reward children with food or candy.

• Use potty chairs -- they are less frightening and intimidating than toilets.

• Make toilets feel safer by having the child sit on a special seat and/or by placing a secure stool or box under his or her feet while sitting on the toilet.

• Never force a child to use a potty: it only sets up a power struggle and negative feelings towards the potty.

• Encourage a child to sit for short periods of time and make sure to respond to the child's need at key times. These are after meals, before naps and after waking up dry from a nap (once the child is comfortable and awake).

• As success and desire grow, remove diapers and pants for a short period. Encourage the child to do this by himself or herself. Leave the potty in the same area as the child and remind the child to use it periodically.

• Try removing diapers during the day once the child gets the idea and timing improves. Most children will stay dry during the day before they can be out of diapers at night.

• Consider that some children watch older brothers and sisters or parents use the toilet and that this can provide role modelling.

• Praise your child for making it to the toilet on time, but do not get angry if your child has an "accident." Instead, reassure your child that accidents sometimes occur, and when they do, it is not a big deal.

Your child may show all the signs of readiness but may not be ready to start toilet learning. This would be the case, for example, if the child was in a stage of "no's" all the time, having temper tantrums, or going through a stressful or disruptive period (caused by a move to a new home or a new child care centre, a divorce, etc.)

At times, a child who has learned to use the toilet goes back to diapers, possibly due to stress factors, such as a new baby in the family. This is common and usually does not last long.

From Well Beings Reprinted courtesy of the Canadian Paediatric Society.

This article first appeared in Interaction, published by the Canadian Child Care Federation, Fall 1995

Posted by: the Canadian Child Care Federation, September 1996.

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