Supporting the New Immigrant/Refugee Family in Child Care

by Julie Dotsch

Three year old Ly Ly can hear the noise as she nears the room. She doesn't know what to expect, but her mother has told her that she is now old enough to go to "school." A strange looking woman has come close to her and is saying something she doesn't understand. She hides her head in her mother's skirt because the noise and confusion are overwhelming. Some bigger boys race by and she begins to cry. Her mother looks very uncomfortable and embarrassed. The teacher has told her that it will be easier for Ly Ly if she leaves quickly. The mother hesitates because she has never left her daughter before. She departs with tears in her eyes as Ly Ly screams, cries and kicks the door. When the mother tries to go back, she is told through a crack in the door that she really should leave because she is making her daughter more upset. Ly Ly can see and hear her mother through the crack in the door. Maybe her mother will never come back and she will be trapped with these strange people forever. Suddenly, another adult pulls her away from the door. Ly Ly frantically tries to escape but is no match for the much stronger teacher. So many things have changed in Ly Ly's life -- her home, her toys, where she sleeps, even the people with whom she lives.

Think of a time in your life when you were going through great stress. Did you feel isolated, angry and helpless? Do you remember having trouble eating, sleeping, talking and relating? If so, then you can probably imagine what Ly Ly is going through. Child care can be a very traumatic experience for a new immigrant/refugee child who is trying to cope with a new culture and language along with normal separation anxiety. The negative effects can last a lifetime. If only the parent had been encouraged to stay; if only one of the teachers had been able to speak some Vietnamese so that Ly Ly could feel more secure; if only the teacher had had some training in the experience of separation and how the trauma of immigration affects children, if only...

Unfortunately, the reality is that many early childhood educators do not understand the unique reasons why many immigrant/refugee children have negative reactions to child care. In order to understand the anguish experienced, teachers need to learn more about the child's background. Perhaps the child has never been separated from family members before, or perhaps the child has been traumatized by events in a war-torn homeland. Consider the fact that these children are still trying to adapt to major changes in their lives, including a different climate, unusual food, strange clothes, a foreign home, new sleep routines, unfamiliar play activities and new peer group situations. They are also faced with the immense challenge of learning a foreign language and deciphering new cultural rules, limits and expectations. At home, the parents may also have little time to spend with their children because they are busy trying to build a new life. Given these reasons, and many others, it is not surprising that adapting to a child care environment is a difficult process for newcomer children.

Early childhood educators may also have misconceptions that create barriers to a more sensitive approach to dealing with these children. For example, teachers may assume that newcomer children will learn English quickly and easily. However, research indicates that learning a second language requires a lot of confidence, appropriate modelling and a sense of security. Teachers need to recognize that adjusting to a new culture is not easy. These children are not crying because they are trying to get attention or because they are spoiled -- they are crying out of fear. Teachers should also ensure that they do not make judgements about the childrearing abilities of immigrant parents. There are many ways to raise a child. Teachers need to respect the richness of the parent's culture and family traditions.

When a newcomer child first enrols in a child care centre, it is very important to have the same family member stay with the child. The length of time that the family member needs to stay will vary, depending on the child's age, extent of trauma, previous child care experience, and whether or not there is a sibling or well-known friend in the room. However, there are still many reasons to keep a family member present during the transition time, even if the child seems secure and has had previous child care experience.

Benefits for the Child

• The child is able to relax in the parent's presence and become more familiar with the child care setting.
• The child is able to see that the teacher is gentle, non-threatening and caring.
• The child feels more secure and is more likely to participate in activities.
• The child can associate the child care with positive experiences such as play, excitement and fun.
• The child can see many play opportunities, learn how to interact with others and protect his/her space.
• The child can see that the teacher protects the children and does not allow others to harm them.

Benefits for the Parents

• Parents can get to know the teacher and gradually build a trusting relationship that will form the basis for further communication.
• Parents can observe the teacher and feel more confident about leaving their child with a stranger.
• Parents can gain useful, first-hand information about the program, learn more about child guidance, seek advice and share more detailed information about the child.
• Questions about the program may arise sooner and can be discussed informally so that there will not be any misunderstandings later on.
• Parents will feel they are more involved with an important part of the child's world.
• Parents have an opportunity to understand and share their child's experiences.
• Parents can feel valued by the teacher and give input into the child's program.

Benefits for the teacher

• The teacher can see the child in a more relaxed state, observe any likes and dislikes and follow them up when the separation occurs.
• The teacher can watch the child engage in spontaneous play and notice how the level of play and physical movement change when the parent is gone.
• The teacher can make tentative overtures of friendship that are more likely to be accepted if the parent is in the room helping the child feel more secure.
• The teacher can see how the parent and child interact, what behaviour the parent expects of the child, what types of play are engaged in, and how the child is positively reinforced.
• The teacher can gradually build a trusting relationship that will make further communication easier.

As supervisor of the Ontario Welcome House Nursery in Toronto, I have made it mandatory for parents to stay with their children when they first enrol them in our child care centre. Upon arrival, a parent removes his/her coat so the the child can see that the parent will be staying. The parent then sits down and is encouraged to enter play or hold the child, depending on the child's level of anxiety. The parent is encouraged to use his/her native language so that the child can feel more relaxed in the new setting.

After a few days, the parent and child may be ready to try a 15-minute separation. Perhaps the child is able to sustain play without seeking the parent out and is willing to let one other familiar adult come close and interact in some way without too much fear. At this point, the parent can use his/her native language to explain that he/she will be leaving. It is a good idea for the parent to leave a personal item with the child, such as a scarf or hanky (not candy or gum). If we have misjudged the situation, the child may be more distressed than expected. If so, we must get the parent back immediately and try to build the level of trust again. Of course, it will be much more difficult this time because the child has had a traumatic experience.

There are a lot of things you can do to help a newcomer child cope with separation. For example, early childhood educators can:

• make the child's day shorter, thereby avoiding difficult periods such as sleep times;
• learn key phrases in the child's native language, such as "hello," "washroom" and "mommy/daddy will be back soon";
• protect the child's space so that the child feels secure;
• ensure that the same adult comes and stays with the child in order to have a gradual separation;
• encourage consistent attendance and regular arrival and departure times;
• understand that the child may be too distressed to play (some children may not want to be touched or looked at);
• make sure the child is not overwhelmed with language (e.g. use body language, gestures and a few simple words);
• model simple play that allows the child to feel in control;
• initiate play by selecting toys that the child chose when the parent was present and by imitating games that the parent and child engaged in;
• change your expectations -- do not expect social, spontaneous or boisterous play right away;
• use any knowledge of the parent's language to interact with the child, explain where the parent is and provide comfort;
• encourage the parent to use the child's native language at home so that the emotional bond, richness of language, feeling of familiarity, and sense of identity and self-esteem are strengthened.

Once the child feels more secure, the teacher should begin encouraging the child to become more independent while not rejecting the genuine need for comfort. At first, the child may need to spend time observing others in order to learn how to enter play and relate to other children. The child will also need to see that the new language, although frustrating, can be a lot of fun and quite useful. At this time, you may see behaviours that are confusing or new to you. If you have an open mind and a supportive attitude, these unique reactions can be understood and accepted.

All the members of a child's family can be an invaluable source of information. They can make us aware of the whole child by providing background information that identifies the child's fears, likes, dislikes and past traumas. They can teach us songs, games and stories that make the program richer and the setting more comfortable for the child. They can also describe their childrearing values, practices and goals. By extending the home into the child care centre and the centre into the home, the child's world becomes more cohesive and continuous.

As teachers, we can support positive parenting and offer a friendly word of encouragement to the families. We can ask parents to help us develop a program for the children so that their goals and needs can help shape the work we do. We can get to know the parents -- friendly professional support goes a long way towards helping parents make changes when needed. We also need to be readily available for parents. If one teacher is assigned to be the parent contact person at drop-off and pick-up times, then the parents will be able to discuss any problems as soon as they arise. Try to ensure that the teacher can get completely involved in a conversation with the parents without having to supervise children at the same time. This undivided attention makes a big difference in the quality of the parent-teacher relationships.

All of these suggestions should be implemented within a high quality anti-bias early childhood education framework. There are many things you can do if you want to learn more about anti-bias principles. You can start by finding out what resources, ESL classes, ethnic agencies and other services exist in your community. Attend workshops and courses and read some of the excellent materials that have been produced on anti-bias early childhood education programs. Try developing your own resources and sharing them with others. Also consider joining the Early Childhood Diversity Network of Canada or a similar local group so that you can help the early childhood education field enhance its programs.

As the supervisor of the Ontario Welcome House Nursery, Ministry of Citizenship, Julie Dotsch has been working with newcomer preschoolers and their families for the past 20 years. She presents workshops, writes articles, reviews policy and provides community consultation and outreach on this subject. She also received the 1994 Significant Educator of the Year Award from the Canadian Council for Multicultural and Intercultural Education. For more information on resources or to receive a copy of Julie's article about stages of cultural adaptation and language acquisition, call her at (416) 314-6735.

This article first appeared in Interaction Summer, 1994, published by the Canadian Child Care Federation

Posted by: the Canadian Child Care Federation, September 1996.

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