Healthy Relationships with Older Family Members

Many older family members are able to live active, healthy lives and to richly contribute to their relationships with their extended family members. Increasingly, however, adult family members are responsible for caring for their aging relatives. This responsibility may come at a time when the adults who are expected to provide care are already coping with other family stresses such as unemployment, a time crunch, at-home older children, ill health -- all which contribute to stress and feeling 'sandwiched' with demands from all directions.

As relationships and roles change within family units, new ways of functioning develop. Mostly, these new ways are supportive and caring. However, older adults, like anyone else, can be subject to couple, caregiver or family abuse. We all share the responsibility to respond sensitively and quickly to help any person who is suffering abuse.

There are five common forms of elder abuse:

It helps to know what the risk factors are and to be aware that elder abuse does occur in all levels of society. Cultural differences may also affect the risk factors and the sign and symptoms of elder abuse. While we must respect each other's rights as individuals and families, we should not ignore behaviour that could be harmful to a family member. Sometimes something as straightforward as a respite service for a caregiver of an older adult may prevent an abusive situation from developing! Getting the information about available services in your community to the people who need them may be an important role you can fulfill.

For more information about the issues of care giving of older persons and elder abuse and for information on home care and home support services, contact your local Family Service agency or contact Family Service Canada at 1-800-668-7808.

RESOURCES ON THE SUBJECT OF RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN GENERATIONS IN FAMILIES

Consult your local library or resource centre to find these documents about families and about questions touching on the relationships between generations.

Adams, Tom & Armstrong, Kathryn. When Parents Age: What Children Can Do. New York: Berkley Books, 1993.

Canadian Association for Community Care. Elder Abuse Resource Kit. Ottawa, Ontario, 1994.

Canadian Association for Community Care. Many Windows: Responding to Family Violence. Ottawa, Ontario, 1994.

Doucette-Dudman, Deborah. Raising Our Children's Children. Minneapolis: Fairview Press, 1996.

Kornhaber, Arthur. Between parents & grandparents. New York: Berkley Books, 1986.

Kornhaber, Arthur. Grandparent power! How to strengthen the vital connection among grandparents, parents, and children. 1st ed. New York: Crown, 1994.

Pellowski, Anne. The family storytelling handbook: how to use stories, anecdotes, rhymes, handkerchiefs, paper,and other objects to enrich your family traditions. 1st ed. New York: Macmillan, 1987.

This article is published by Family Service Canada.

Posted by Family Service Canada, August 1997.