Families everywhere are facing new challenges. Getting together, as a family, with other family members can itself be quite a challenge! Scheduling a Family Conference Time is one way to keep up with each other's busy lives. Sometimes not all family members are available for a Family Conference because of work or travel. Important family issues should be kept for a time when all family members can participate, but it's not always necessary to have every family member at the meeting.

Who constitutes a Family Member? That's what your unique family will have to decide. Sometimes you, as an individual, may be a member of more than one family. You, as a parent, your two children, Aunt Mary and your current spouse (not the children's father) may be your family today. Everyone in your household is welcome at Family Conference Time.

Use Family Conference Time to:

• Have a family time "show and tell";
  
• Plan a special event like a birthday, a special meal, a picnic;
  
• Discuss a trip, a vacation, and how to prepare for it;
  
• Discuss "can't wait" issues or disputes;
  
• Listen to favourite jokes or stories.

Here are a few tips to help you have a terrific family conference!

• Take turns being the family conference leader; you might try to use a bell or whistle to restore order if your Family Conferences are boisterous; the leader can also encourage quieter or shyer family members to participate by specifically asking for their input;
  
• An older child can be a "coach" for a younger child;
  
• Make sure that everyone gets equal time to talk;
  
• Everyone's ideas, opinions, and information are valuable and respected, from the oldest to the youngest
  
  • there are no right or wrong ideas
    
  • remember to listen to others
    
  • ask questions that will help to explain an idea
    
  • don't interrupt
    
  • above all, try not to argue;
    
• Make sure the focus is positive, not always negative;
  
• Look for interesting solutions to problems, even crazy ones; sometimes great ideas can come from what seem like silly ideas.
  
• Try to establish a realistic length for the Family Conference and stick to that time line;
  
• Discourage external distractions (television, radio, computer, telephone);
  
• At the end of the conference, make sure that everyone understands their responsibilities if they are to do "homework" for the next conference.

Above all, Family Conference Time:

• can be fun and full of action;
  
• helps family members build self-confidence;
  
• shows respect for each other's likes and dislikes;
  
• demonstrates how everyone's views can be heard.

This article is published by Family Service Canada.

Posted by Family Service Canada, August 1997.

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