Slushpile
by K.I. Press
Wanted: powerful white men
who always wanted
to be writers. Sense of
relentlessness required. Demanding
phone manner preferred.
It helps, too, if you are writing
a thriller about white-collar criminals
and Colombian drug money. The novel
should be set in Toronto
Vancouver, St. John’s, Los Angeles, London, Paris, Cairo
and the jungles of the Amazon. You will need
at least one action scene on a boat, with sex.
The sex should be violent.
Preference will be given
to candidates who have sat
on the Ontario Securities Commission
or the board of a major financial institution.
The ideal candidate
will have served briefly as an MP
during the eighties.
If you are at the top of your game, have finally
completed that chef d’oeuvre
you have been working on for the past sixteen years, then
this position is for you.
Wanted: men who are used
to getting what they want and really (really)
only wanted to be writers.
Advance commensurate
on the size of your manuscript.
Serious applicants only.
|
|
