Evidence
by Kabeera McCorkle
They told you that your assignment was to find
evidence. This was the sum of
your instruction. Having little to no experience in the
realm of ‘evidence,’
you went in search of an answer. In a wooded park at
the corner of town you
collected: eight branches of about a meter’s length.
When they ask what the
eight branches are for because they will ask you
know exactly what you
will tell them. You will say, “Branches are from trees.
This is the evidence
of the part to the whole. The branch is proof of the
tree.” You are hoping
that this demonstration will suffice. But you have
heard their denials
before. You’ve felt their reprimands in the form of
four sharp marks to your
wrist. Minor cuts, really, but they sting.
And so you enlist others. It’s a bright June day when
you open the
recruitment center and hang the sign on the front door
that says: ‘Bureau of
Evidence. Workers Wanted.’ On Day 1, nobody comes and
so you take it upon
yourself to gather the olive oil and the water. You
pour them into a plastic
cup and recite the words, so that you will not forget,
“The oil and the water
are for distance. This is to show the point of
separation. Look how they sit,
one on top of the other and each stays to his side and
neither journeys an
iota into the other’s dominion.”
On Day 2, a small child shows up. “How much?” he asks.
You don’t have a lot
to spare, but you strike a deal, agreeing to pay four
whole dollars for every
admissible assemblage of evidence. The child brings
you: all kinds of insect
wings. Those of Monarch butterflies and small
grasshoppers and the thin,
membranous wings of bees.
“What on earth?” you exclaim.
But then he tells you, “Without the wings they cannot
fly.”
You ask him to go on.
“Wings are for flying. This is to show that wings are
for flying. See how
they cannot leave the ground?” And then he pulls from
his other pocket a few
mangled bug bodies, one of them oozing a brown
secretion. “Watch,” he says.
“None of them will fly.”
“Yes,” you say, nodding. “It might do. They might like
it.”
And so you embark on a cooperative business, you and
this merry bug-assassin. On Day 3 you each return to the office with arms full.
“”You first,” he
says. And so you lay the specimens out on the table: an
old toothbrush, a
pair of dentures that you plucked from a dumpster, a
retainer. The boy picks
up the toothbrush and then reaches for the retainer.
“Not that!” you warn. “It’s dirty. These are
contaminated things.”
“Rubbish,” he says. “What’s so good about them
anyhow?”
You can tell he thinks he’s got something better.
“Wait,” you say.
“Just listen to this.” And then you make your case,
gesturing to each item
as you explain it, with pride, as if each were your
child. “This is the
toothbrush. The toothbrush is supposed to clean the
teeth. And this, the
retainer. The retainer is supposed to retain them, to
hold them in position.
And here we have the dentures, which arrive when the
teeth go. The dentures
are proof that everything goes, even that which was
supposed to be retained.”
“Slippy…” says the boy. He’s made up the word. He tells
you it lies
somewhere between ‘sneaky’ and ‘slip’ in the wide
spectrum of the English
language. It’s not that you mind his new word. But it’s
the way he defends
it, as if it were a toothbrush or a pair of insect
wings.
“And now my turn,” he says, and lifts a knapsack onto
the table. In it are:
three swollen, pulsing chickens without their heads.
Their feet find the
surface of the table and they clamber out, running from
side to side,
spurting blood everywhere.
“Good God!” you shout and leap from the table.
“It’s all right,” he tells you. “They won’t bite. Their
teeth are gone,”
he says in an even, logical manner. And then he tells
you that they stay
alive after their heads have been removed. “And their
hearts go on beating.
Look how long! They’re almost finished now.”
“How do you know that?” you ask. As far as you can
tell, they are still
beating strong.
“The first one I took kept beating for about two or
three minutes. So these
are almost done.” And as if on cue, one of the chickens
slows and stops. It
lies motionless in a puddle on the table. “I had to run
back here with these
three so that you could see them before they died.” The
other two chickens do
die then, flopping on top of each other at the edge of
the table.
You take a long, hard look at the boy. Did you
underestimate him? Would they
disapprove? They wouldn’t condone carnage for no
reason. “Is there a
reason?” you ask. “What are they for?”
“These,” says the boy slowly, “are to show that the
soul is in the heart,
not in the brain. Look how the heart went on beating
long after I left the
brains in the chicken coop,” he says, and his eyes mist
over with tears.
“It’s the answer to everything,” he tells you.
And so you take him on as a permanent partner. The two
of you hoard all kinds
of objects in that office on the first floor, lining
your work up next to the
wall and stacking it across the table. By Day 12 the
room is nearly full of
animal parts and branches and bits of toy dolls. On Day
13 a woman mistakes
your office for the bakery and stumbles in to buy a
loaf of walnut bread.
“Oh!” she says aghast, startled. You and the boy look
up from the table,
where you are cataloging a pile of rabbit ears. “I’m
sorry,” she stammers.
“I thought I thought this was the bakery.”
“No,” you tell her, in a soft, but authoritative tone.
“This is the Bureau
of Evidence.”
“Oh, I am sorry,” she says. “I didn’t know.”
“Don’t be afraid,” says the boy. “Would you like to
have a look around?”
You both motion to the left wall, where the collection
begins. You’re certain
she’s going to turn and make for the bakery, but then
she pauses and points.
“Is that are those umbrellas?” she asks.
“Yes,” you say, moving towards her. You are proud that
she has selected one
of your findings over those of the boy. “You see,
they’re all broken.” She
lays a hand on a gray umbrella near where the wiring
sticks out past the rim.
“They’ve all been damaged in one way or another. This
one doesn’t pop out
anymore. That one’s got a huge tear in it. And these,
all of these have one
or two or even three lazy rods.”
She nods, and tries to shove the protruding metal piece
back into the fabric
of the gray umbrella.
“It won’t work,” you tell her. “I’ve tried them all and
none of them can be
fixed. I’ve made sure.”
She turns around to face you. She’s prettier than you
first thought. You can
feel the boy’s eyes on her as well. It’s the first time
a woman has entered
the room. “Why do you have them?” she asks.
And now is your chance to tell her. Now is your chance
to steal her, to win
her once and for all from the boy. He can’t be more
than eleven or twelve
now, but he’ll grow. He’ll sneak up on you one day, a
full-blown man. “These
are to show that when a member of a group cracks, the
whole is useless. See
how the rain would slant down on you if you tried to
use it? These umbrellas
are to illustrate the importance of self-reliance.
Never depend on any part
outside of yourself.”
“I see,” she says and closes her hand around the handle
of the gray
umbrella. “May I have one?”
And that is when you start sleeping with her. You wait
until the boy leaves,
of course. He leaves every day at nightfall and comes
back the next morning,
arms full of fur and bone and blood. In the dark, the
office seems grim and
sinister. You clear the items from the table and stack
them up at the front
door.
“And so now we’re barricaded in?” she asks, teasing.
“Guess so,” you say and pull her onto the table.
Underneath her ordinary
white blouse is a magenta bra, laced. You kiss the nape
of her neck. You run
your hand over her breast and take her bra. As you
dangle it in the air you
tell her, “This is to show that what is on top is not
necessarily what is
underneath. There is another layer beneath the
surface.” She allows you then,
to unzip the side of her skirt and to pull from her a
pair of pantyhose, and
then, a pair of panties. They are magenta, like the
bra.
“Ah,” you say. “Consistency.” You place the magenta
panties on top of the
magenta bra at the corner of the table. “These are to
show that housewives
are as mindful of their undergarments as they are of
their crockery.”
In the morning, the boy is angry. “You’re late,” he
tells you. “I’ve
already gathered the whiskers of fourteen squirrels.”
He lays these on the
table and looks at the space where your evidence should
be. You have been
delinquent. You have been collecting: a thousand
different scents and tastes
instead of the usual assortment of odd objects.
Daylight finds you without
the woman and without any proof of philosophical
truths, be they of sex,
women or dilapidated houses.
“They’re going to be furious,” says the boy.
“What do you know about furious!” you retort, with more
force than you
intended.
The boy stands there, upright, his posture as stiff as
a telephone pole. He’s
turned into quite a self-righteous bastard, hasn’t he.
He thinks he can boss
you around, does he. “You don’t know a thing about
them,” you say. “They
did not say when they would return. So how could they
possibly be furious
since they are not here? And if there’s anything they
would be furious about,
it would be your persistent animal abuse!” you shout.
He does not speak or move for a moment and then he
turns and picks up the
squirrel whiskers. He holds them up in the air, in one
fist, his anger
mounting, building. He has within him: the fury of
every religious fanatic
you’ve ever met. Evidence has become a religion to him,
as sanctified as God. “These,” he says, shaking, holding the whiskers.
“These,” he says again.
“You call these abuse? You think I caused the squirrels
pain? What is the
ravaging of a woman if not abuse? Hmmm? What is that if
not abuse?”
How dare he. How dare he. “What do you know of women?
Tell me one thing you
know about women!” you demand. For once, you have the
upper hand. Here is an
empire he has never touched.
But then you see the corner of his mouth twitch and you
know. You know. He
doesn’t have to say it.
He doesn’t have to explain
about the magenta
underwear or the magenta bra or about the scent of
Jasmine, the taste of
honey. You know. How odd the acts of your life are, how
odd the staging, the
entrances, the exits, the way the characters move.
Shuffle in, shuffle out.
How they spread your idiocy out before you like a red
carpet, daring you to
walk into it, daring you to walk. How many days was the
boy back in the
office before you? Or away longer than you? Where was
it, you want to know.
Where did it take place? In some animal-ridden wood?
Or. On the table.
He doesn’t say anything for a moment. He doesn’t have
to. He’s holding the
squirrel whiskers in one hand and with the other he’s
grasping the corner of
the table. And then he says, “Tell me what you know of
women.” He says,
“Tell me.”
You try to locate the images. You try to recollect the
ideas, the point.
“There was magenta and white,” you say. “What is on top
is not what is
there is.” You stop and begin again. “These things were
there,” you say. “A
white blouse and there were there was.”
Silence.
The boy lets the pause linger for a while and then he
says, with purpose, as
if he’s rehearsed every word, “The act of sex is for
forgetting. This is to
prove that what was there then is not here now. What
was intimate and acutely
present during the act is estranged and vacant after
the act.” He takes a
step closer to you. He is barely past puberty. “The
reason you cannot recall
the essence is because the essence is gone afterwards.
There is no proof,” he
says. “There is no evidence. Nothing lingers. Nothing
remains. What was
beautiful becomes sorrowful in absentia. This,” he says
with great gravity,
“ is the worst form of abuse.”
He’s looking at you with those moral eyes of his,
holding the squirrel
whiskers at his hip. “Nothing remains of your
chickens,” you say cautiously.
You are making this up as you go. “They are in a
landfill by now. And the
woman though she’s gone and the act is fleeting I
did not hurt her,”
you insist. “I didn’t.”
“No,” he agrees, tilting his head in contemplation.
“But you passed through
her and left no mark. I have marked the chickens and
the grasshoppers and the
rabbits,” he says. “You could say that I’m
responsible.”
Kabeera McCorkle lives in
Philadelphia, PA.
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