Sometime
between ages 17 and 20 I went to the racetrack one night and won $6,000.
Wow! Another big win, the equivalent of two years salary. This reinforced
my belief that I could be a winner at gambling.
By my early 20s I was betting
big amounts on lots of games that I didnt really know much about
and probably couldnt name more than a handful of players who played
them. In some of the college games I bet on, I couldn't name one player
or even tell you where the college was located, but I needed to be in
action. By then I was a regular at the old Madison Square Garden, every
week. I watched and bet on college and professional basketball on a regular
basis. I was working full-time in a shipping department in the garment
center and every Tuesday when we got paid there was a regular crap game
out in the hallway. Almost every week I lost my pay in that game. I began
stealing supplies and merchandise on a daily basis to pay for my gambling.
I already had a bank loan and a finance company loan, and I borrowed from
coworkers.
At 21, I met my future wife.
Our first date was to the movies, and most of the rest of our dating was
at the racetrack. We had a joint checking account to save for our wedding:
she put money in — and I didnt. I needed my money for gambling.
I was still looking for another big win. I thought the perfect place for
our honeymoon would be Las Vegas or Puerto Rico since I knew both places
had casinos. My wife-to-be didnt think that was a good idea; I guess
she understood enough about my gambling already. When I was 23, we got
married. I wanted to stop gambling at that point and I thought I could.
But within a short time I was back at it. Even though I wanted to stop,
I realize now that I couldn't.; I needed to gamble like any drug addict
needs to stick that needle in their arm or an alcoholic needs to have
that drink.
Four weeks after we got married
I went away to the Army Reserves at Fort Dix, New Jersey, for six months.
The whole time, I gambled every day, fast and furious, from placing bets
by phone with the bookmaker to shooting craps and playing cards — every waking minute. When I came home in December of 1961, I owed $4,000
and didnt even have a job.
I eventually got work in the
garment center. In the showroom I worked in there were a few compulsive
gamblers who I quickly got friendly with. They became my buddies. We played
cards during the day and went to the racetrack at night, and on weekends,
we did both. My wife thought I was at business meetings some nights. All
of us lied for each other.
In 1963, my first daughter
was born. While my wife was in labor for 37 hours, I went twice to the
racetrack. When the doctor finally came out and told me that we had a
baby, the only question I really cared about was "How much did she
weigh?" You would think that my concern should have been "How
is my wife?" or "How is the baby?" He answered 7 lbs.,
1 oz., so my first call was to the bookmaker to bet 71 in the daily double.
The next day, I saw in the newspaper that I had won, which convinced me
that God had sent me a message: now I was going to be a winner.
One year later, my boss gave
me an option to buy 500 shares of stock in the company for $7,500. Within
a year that stock was worth $38,000. In those days, you could buy a car
for $2,000 and a house for about $10,000. Within three years, all of that
money was gone due to my gambling. I was now a plant supervisor for a
Fortune 500 company. My gambling was already so out of control that I
was stealing everything I could just to stay in action. I set up a room
in the factory for playing cards, all day long. I was starting to do illegal
acts, manipulating stocks in the stock market; still, at that point, I
had borrowed money only from legitimate sources.
Our home life was deteriorating.
Gambling was more important than anything else that went on at home. I
lied about almost everything and I would come home and pick a fight so
I could go out and gamble. Nothing else in my life was more important
than gambling — not my family, not my job — gambling came first.
My gambling got progressively
worse. As a plant manager in New Jersey, I was supervising 300 to 400
people and my boss was in New York. Most of the time he didnt know
what I was doing. Besides stealing and borrowing money from coworkers,
I now had loans with three banks, three finance companies, and I owed
a loan shark an amount of money equal to one years salary. I was
involved with three bookmakers, both working for them and betting with
them. I directed a lot of people in my company who gambled to my bookmaker
and so I got a piece of the action. I even got involved in a numbers operation.
Between these activities and stealing, I supported my gambling.
There were times I bet on 40
or 50 games in a weekend and believed I could win them all. One weekend,
just before I hit my bottom, I called a bookmaker and took a shot by betting
a round robin equal to about two years salary. If I had lost that
bet there was no way I could have paid it at that time. Things were getting
so bad, I remember calling a bookmaker one day and he said that if I didnt
bring him the money I owed him, he would not take my bet for that night,
so I went home and sold our car to a neighbor.
I wasnt going home to
pick fights with my wife anymore; I was doing it over the phone so I wouldnt
waste the trip. Most of the time I was out gambling, but when I was home
we fought constantly. We rarely had sex. When I won I was so high I didnt
need it and if I lost I didn't want it. There were times when we did have
sex, though, and my wife would say, "Do you hear a radio?" Of
course, I told her she was crazy, but I had a radio on under the pillow
so I could listen to a game.
We tried to have another child,
but couldnt. My wife came to me with the idea of adoption. I didnt
like it, especially because it would cost money, money I needed for gambling.
After three months of her bothering me, I finally went along with her,
thinking that she would be so busy with the two kids she would leave me
alone. I borrowed the money we needed from my boss and relatives. The
day we brought our new son home on a plane was the seventh game of the
1967 World Series. My wife was busy looking at this beautiful new baby
but I had no interest in him. I had a large bet on the game, and although
the pilot announced the score every 15 minutes or so, I was so upset that
we were on this plane. I wished and prayed the plane would land so I wouldnt
miss another minute of that game.
In the next few months, the
bottom fell out of my world even though I still had my job and I still
looked like things were okay; that is, there were no track marks on my
arm and I didnt smell. No one could really tell what was going on.
I would come home from gambling and see my wife crying all the time, depressed
and sick. Our daughter was four years old and I don't remember her walking
or talking. Either I wasnt home, or when I was, my head was consumed
with gambling. I owed 32 people the equivalent of three years salary;
I had a life insurance policy and constantly thought about killing myself
and leaving my wife and two kids that money.
I would do anything to keep
gambling. I still thought the big win was just around the corner as long
as I could get money to stay in action. I tried to find out where I could
get drugs to sell, I scouted gas stations to rob, I asked people about
making counterfeit money — I was running out of options. My boss
came to me one day and told me a detective who was following me had a
report on my gambling. He knew I bet more than I earned and was sure that
I stole from the company. If he found out, he said, he would have me arrested.
Only three hours later I was stealing from the company again: I needed
to go to the racetrack that night.
On February 2, 1968, my wife
had a miscarriage. I took her to the hospital, wishing and praying all
the way that she would die. I thought it would solve all my problems not
to have to tell her how bad things were. That morning, I called my mother
to watch my kids and called my boss to say I couldnt come to work
because my wife was in the hospital. That afternoon I went to the racetrack.
After the track, I went to see my wife. When I got to the hospital the
doctor told me that my wife was in shock, she had almost died. I was so
deep into my addiction that I didnt care — about her, the two
kids or myself. The only important thing was making a bet.
I thought I was the only one
living that way and doing what I did. But I found out that I wasnt
alone and that I could stop gambling with the help of the other people.
I had hope for the first time.
It has been almost 34 years
since I last gambled. Today, I have everything I dreamed I would get from
gambling and then some. I have a wonderful family that is still intact
and I have even been blessed with four grandchildren who I love very much.
In the last 20 years, I have been able to devote my working life to helping
others who have this problem and educating people on the disease of compulsive
gambling. This has been a dream come true.
Submitted: February 18,
2002
This First person account
was not peer-reviewed.
Arnie Wexler is a certified
compulsive gambling counselor (CCGC) and was the executive director
of the Council on Compulsive Gambling of New Jersey for eight years.
He currently works with his wife, Sheila, as a consultant and presenter
on the subject of compulsive gambling addiction.
Arnie is an expert on
the subject of compulsive gambling and has been involved in helping
compulsive gamblers for over 34 years. He has appeared on many of Americas
top television shows, including Oprah, Nightline and 48 Hours. He has
been quoted and profiled in hundreds of magazines and newspapers.
Arnie has presented workshops
ands training seminars nationally and internationally. He has spoken
to gaming industry executives, Fortune 500 corporations and legislative
bodies, and on college campuses. He has carried out training for the
National Football League.
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