"We are all in the gutter, but some of us..."
Taking Trash Seriously.
"...are looking at the stars."
—Oscar Wilde
March 28, 2007
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This site is updated Thursday at noon with a new article about an artistic pursuit generally considered to be beneath consideration. James Schellenberg probes science-fiction, Carol Borden draws out the best in comics, Andrew Smale plays videogames, and each month we feature a Guest Star writer on a gutter subject on their choosing.

While the writers have considerable enthusiasm for their subjects, they don't let it numb their critical faculties. Tossing away the shield of journalistic objectivity and refusing the shovel of fannish boosterism, they write in the hopes of starting honest and intelligent discussions about these oft-enjoyed but rarely examined artforms. Click here for the writer's bios and their individual takes on the gutter.


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Screw-On Head and Hellboy, Unfairly Compared

"Two DVDs, one day."

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Screw-On Head and Hellboy, Unfairly Compared

by Carol Borden

Two DVDs, one day.Really, I am trying to be good, but I’m not sure I can help it. Last month, DVD’s for The Amazing Screw-On Head and Hellboy: Sword of Storms were released on the same day. That should have been the best day ever since they’re both based on Mike Mignola’s comics. Unfortunately, releasing both projects on the same day leads to unfair comparisons.

Based on a one-shot comic, The Amazing Screw-On Head is a charming cartoon. It was a pilot for a projected series on the SciFi Channel. So far it hasn’t been picked up, and I’m not exactly surprised. The ways of SciFi are mysterious. The story is as crazy delightful as can be, referring to a whole lot of generic adventure story conventions while still holding together evenly. Set in 1863, Screw-On Head, a mechanical wonder of the Steam Age, serves President Abraham Lincoln and defends America—and by America, he means the world—from ancient evil as well as his former manservant turned undead mummy, Emperor Zombie, who has also vowed to kill all Screw-On Head’s subsequent manservants. Besides manservants, the cartoon features: the Museum of Dangerous Books and Papers; a taxidermed dog; a chimp gunner; a Paleolithic conqueror; a temple submerged in the Mississippi; and the Homestead Act. And it’s nice to see female characters around whose job isn’t just being female. It’s especially neat to see a female werewolf included for the same reason a male one would be and not just as a twist on doomed love.

I’ve heard The Amazing Screw-On Head’s animation called crude, but for me, Mike Mignola’s blockprinty style and heavy blacks survive any stutter. At worst, The Amazing Screw-On Head is reminiscent of stereopticons and magic lanterns. To make an unfair comparison between different things, I found Sword of Storms a little too slick, somewhere between Warner Bros.’ DC cartoons and Disney’s new Anime lite style. While it’s still Hellboy, the cartoon seems bland in comparison to the comic or The Amazing Screw-On Head.

I first saw Hellboy: Sword of Storms in a theatrical screening as part of a marketing campaign for the DVD, which included showing us all the remarkably similar looking and voiced ads on the DVD, the warning against public screenings and leaving the muting on during the video’s opening. Yes, it was a low level yet still pretty entertaining fiasco with giddy marketing execs all a-flutter on their Special Day. The poor actor hired to be Hellboy stood by helpfully while a marketing executive mc’ed with her mic off and the back of the theater demanded their rightful swag. The screening probably made Sword of Storms less exciting than if I had wandered across it on the Cartoon Network.

Two DVDs, one day. Still, The Amazing Screw-On Head throws into relief how Sword of Storms misses some of the charm of the comic series. The comic, and the related series, B.P.R.D., concerns a group of paranormal investigators who are themselves paranormal: Liz, a pyrokinetic; Abe Sapien, a fishperson; and Hellboy, a.k.a. the Beast of the Apocalypse. As with The Amazing Screw-On Head, the comic mixes Lovecraftian horror with fairy tales, archaeology, humor and the exuberance of 30s and 40s pulp fiction. Sword of Storms adds dragons, a Japanese spirit world and fox spirits.

Somehow, though, it seems like something was lost in the transition. I can’t point to anything specific. It might be as simple as the choices that make a collection of stories into a standardized 90-minute, 3-act movie with A and B plots. And, of course, Mignola’s work is hard to master. Clearly, he loves his material, even when it might look like he’s poking fun at it. Somehow he can bring together different kinds of pulp material as well as create complex narrative and emotional tones. I can’t take it out on anyone for not being able to manage the trick as well.

So I’m not sad at the prospect of the next Hellboy animated movie. I mean, it’s Hellboy, animated and on tv. The world would definitely be a better place with more swell cartoons. At the same time, seeing how slick, smooth and vaguely dissatisfying I found Sword of Storms, I’m a little ambivalent about The Amazing Screw-On Head as a series. Again, cool cartoons—yay! Still, The Amazing Screw-On Head is already perfect: wonky, idiosyncratic, and so wrong it’s right. I think maybe 22 minutes is about right. The compression allows for gestures towards all the various kinds of stories. If it had more time or more space it might not actually be as fun or as funny.

As for Hellboy vs. Screw-On Head, the truth is nobody has to choose just because the DVD’s were released simultaneously. I’m doing my best not to get caught up in a false choice. After all, we have them both now and America—and by America, I mean the world—is better for it.

~~~

Carol Borden agrees with Screw-On Head that all really intelligent people should be cremated for reasons of public safety.

I don't know that much about Hellboy, apart from a few comics and the movie a few years ago. By coincidence, I took a look at The Amazing Screw-On Head comic recently, and I was surprised at how surreal it was. "Crazy delightful" would be a good way to describe it, as you mentioned, Carol. It's a strange thing... I always wish for something crazy and new, and then I'm shocked when I find it!

—James Schellenberg

I saw a trailer for Screw-On Head about a year ago, and until now, had forgotten. Which is bizarre: how could I have forgotten something so incredibly off-the-wall and astounding? Must hunt down the DVD.

—Chris S.

james--

it could be worse, you could always be thinking something's going to be crazy and new and then profoundly disappointed when it's not. that's something i'm glad i haven't been cursed with.

now i'll go knock on some wood.

—Carol Borden

I was fortunate enough to catch the free pilot screening of The Amazing Screw-on Head on SciFi.com (sadly long-since removed). It's one of the most memorable animations I've seen in a long time, for both it's striking visual style and the laugh-out-loud humour. The characters were realised so brilliantly I fail to see how any TV station failed to pick this up and fund a proper series -- absolutely criminal in my opinion.

—Pete Fairhurst


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I was fortunate enough to catch the free pilot screening of The Amazing Screw-on Head on SciFi.com (sadly long-since removed). It's one of the most memorable animations I've seen in a long time, for both it's striking visual style and the laugh-out-loud humour. The characters were realised so brilliantly I fail to see how any TV station failed to pick this up and fund a proper series -- absolutely criminal in my opinion.

—Pete Fairhurst

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Of Note Elsewhere

Just hearing the first song on Songs and Stories about the Justice League of America left me stunned. By the second, I decided it might be one of the best things ever with its hammond grooves and swinging Sixties songsters. But the stories are fun too with a villainous Zsa-Zsa Gabor imitator, a lot of plastic and scientific exposition. The only way it might be better is if Ann-Margret played Wonder Woman. Way Out Junk has the whole amazing presumably common domain album here. (Thanks, Ian!)

~

A mine in Serbia has turned up a sample with the same chemical composition as the fictional Superman-killer. Dr. Stanley was interviewed by BBC News: "Towards the end of my research I searched the web using the mineral's chemical formula - sodium lithium boron silicate hydroxide - and was amazed to discover that same scientific name, written on a case of rock containing kryptonite stolen by Lex Luthor from a museum in the film Superman Returns." (Thanks, Mr.Dave!)

~

The first chapter of Elizabeth Hand's new novel Generation Loss is available as a mp3 at her website. It's nice listening. She's got just the right voice for desolate punk noir. (According to Boing Boing, it's in honor of April 23rd, International Pixel Stained Technopeasant Day)

~

Okay, Doom is now more than a dozen years old, but apparently it's not old-school enough for some people. Check out this ASCII-only version called DoomRL: "One of the more entertaining things about the game is that, while the graphics are ASCII and the gameplay is turn-based, the sound comes directly from the original game."

~

The HP Lovecraft Historical Society has been awfully busy since releasing their Call of Chthulhu silent on DVD a couple years ago. Their next film will be The Whisperer in Darkness shot as a 1930s horror movie. If you need some tiding over till then, you can always listen to their At The Mountains of Madness radio drama, their musical There's a Shoggoth on the Roof or one of their seasonal CDs or just follow the link to Nueva Logia del Tentaculo's e-zine. Don't forget the Expressionist wonder of the Call of Chthulhu trailer

~

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